Semester as a Spartan
by FoxNewsNetwork
Summary: Ranma is expelled from Furinkan High and sent to an all boys' military style academy in another city. Unfortunately for Ranma, though the academy's students come from all over, they all crave one thing: girl.
1. Prologue

_**More Ranma FanFic**_

Disclaimer: I own none of the after-mentioned characters, whatever similarities between these characters and those by another author are purely coincidental.

Chapter One: Prologue

To Whom It May Concern:

Reportedly, Ranma Saotome has had a record of violent problems with the staff and faculty of Furinkan High School as well as the student body enrolled at the aforementioned school. His academic records show a profound lacking in scholastic achievement in the fields ranging from mathematics to language arts. Saotome has more than once dragged down the standardized testing schools for Furinkan High School single-handedly. And more than often, Saotome is absent from school for no particular good reason. Most scandalously, Ranma Saotome has been seen sexually harassing certain female students and even certain teachers. In addition, Saotome has cost the school millions of yen in property damage and general bad publicity.

Miss Hinako, the instructor of sophomore group F by which Ranma Saotome is a member of, has more than once reported sexual harassments – some attempted and some successful – that Saotome has preformed onto her. These actions include the pressing of certain pressure points along the left upper back as well as the jabbing of the lower breast on Miss Hinako herself, has more than once interred with Miss Hinako's ability to teach as well as the other student's ability to learn.

Saotome has been in over two dozen fights during school hours with the other students of Furinkan High. In addition to hospital bills the school inevitably must cover as a part of country-wide educational liability code #1337, structural damages including the complete destruction of a statue, breaking of countless windows, as well as major flooding in the Principal's office can all be attributed to Ranma Saotome's insistent trouble-making.

This morning, in the most flagrant crime against Furinkan High School, Ranma Saotome, in a fight with an unidentified person – most likely a student – trigger first a massive tornado that destroyed much of the Genji Garden Patio that decorates our school, then a titanic explosion that wrecked much of the P.E. department's equipment. Reportedly, the explosion also induced an outburst of somewhat poisonous gas that left many of the victims of the aforementioned incident on varying degrees of hurt. Ranma Saotome himself, however, is nowhere to be found, and is suspected of having fled the seen of the crime to avoid the consequences thereof.

Once again, by the unanimous decision of the Board of Education of Furinkan high school, Ranma Saotome is to be recommended for expulsion from Furinkan high school indefinitely. Please, for the love of god, remove him from the respectable roll-sheets this time. We, at the board, will send another letter of recommendation to Saotome's parents as to regarding what other schools that should best suit Ranma Saotome's nature.

President of Board of Education of Furinkan High School,

_Murasaki Shikibu_

Author's Notes: So ends Ranma's days in Furinkan high school, but don't worry, old friends and ancient enemies die hard – it's not as if they'll never visit! Another thing, this is just the prologue, no real chapter will never be this short. That, however, doesn't mean it isn't important – no, the prologue is quite crucial.

On a more serious note, I realize there seem to be quite a few plot holes in the prologue, but they are all integral to the continued unfurling of the story. If you're simply not going to read beyond the first chapter, I ask that you **_do not _**leave a review either.


	2. Here's Ranma Again

Chapter Two: Here's Ranma Again

"Damn that old bastard!" Ranma cursed under his breath, "knocking me out like that and chucking me on a boat to this hellhole like a crate of potatoes…" Ranma looked to both side of the vast river; he could hardly see shores where water met land. He didn't even know where he was going, "I'm going to kick his ass when I get back…"

Ranma had found himself lying on the deck toward the bow of the boat (more of a ship really) some hours ago. No food, no money, nothing but the clothes on his back and his camping backpack (which contained only more clothe), Ranma was at a new level of annoyance – especially since hunger was beginning to tickling his stomach. Genma – Ranma father – had, in fact, left nothing extra for him except a large bump on his head (a side-effect of manually induced unconsciousness) and little note that told him he would be enrolled into some Spartan Academy in a city called Aulis – which sounded incredibly non-Japanese (Ranma was wondering how he'll communicate) – ever since that stupid fight at Furinkan High.

Taking out the note Pop wrote him, Ranma read it again.

_Boy! You've really screwed up this time! Nerima and Furinkan just aren't cutting it anymore. We're sending you off to a city called Aulis, there's suppose to be a school called the Spartan Academy of the Modern Day Warriors. I hear it's tough, but you'll need it! It'll make a man out of you. I'll be checking up on you every so often_._ Oh, and I'll say good-bye to all your family for you_.

"Pop was probably seriously pissed…" Ranma muttered to himself, "Sending me off to some sorta boarding school and separating him from his fiancée (not that he cared about that uncute tomboy)." Ranma sighed, "Stupid Furinkan High…Why can't I just keep going there! Oh well, once I find out where I am, I'll swim back to Nerima if I have to…Hell, just what did I do that was so bad!" Ranma looked overboard, the current flowed strongly with the ship, but he was confident he could swim against it if he had to.

_Rrrwwr_ Ranma's stomach growled in hunger, causing Ranma to growl back in irritation. The sun was setting behind the ship (it'll probably be dark when he arrives at wherever he's going), which meant that dinner time would be now – the fact was reinforced by the lion of hunger roaring up a storm in his belly.

Checking his pockets – in case some money had lost its way from someone else's and wound up in his – Ranma found he was still as poor as a third world country. _Big surprise there_, Ranma thought sarcastically, _Pop was always so generous with money_.

Looking around – in case someone had food – Ranma saw no one else on the deck, and decided that the other passengers must be inside. Ranma was use to the chilly evening air, he was, after all, a martial arts master who had undergone extreme training – but, of course, mundane normal people can't be expected to have abilities such as his. Grabbing his backpack, Ranma glanced into the main ship cabin from a nearby window, seeing mostly boys; he splashed himself with cold water from a handy drinking-fountain (he was pleasantly surprised to find one on a ship) and went in. He, now as she, was determined to get something to eat, and nothing works better magic on boys her age than being a girl.

Immediately, air-conditioned warmth greeted her as she pulled open the door. The room was well-lit by florescent lights and adorn with a decorative houseplant that sat in each of the four corners. The plush red carpet and even plushier and redder recliner-seats gave the room a certain feel of comfort. Up ahead, a few boys her age – at least, they seemed so – sat watching some show on the television in silence; some anime show about a transgender boy who was engaged to far too many girls (Ranma heard of it at school).

The lot of them seemed to be ordinary Japanese boys, same black hair, same short stature; none of them noticed Ranma as she walked closer to them. Looking down, Ranma made sure the Chinese blouse she wore clung to her body tight enough to reveal the curves of her body – to tempt the boys – and the ampleness of her budding boobs. Satisfied at her own cute-ness, she amplified the lousiness of her steps as she thumped toward them.

Something caught her eye – one of the boys sitting slightly apart from the rest, had a head full of pure and flowing (albeit uncombed) silver hair, something quite unusual to Ranma's sense of normal (one would think that after seeing purple hair on a girl, yellow on another, and having red on herself, she wouldn't be surprise by much…but one would be wrong). _How strange_, Ranma mused, _I wonder where he's from_.

As if noticing Ranma's persistent glances, the silver-haired boy turned around to face Ranma. Ranma studied him; he was quite handsome in a devilish and adventurous sort of way, though he seemed not much older than Ranma. He wore a simple pair of somewhat faded brown pants and a red short-sleeved that read, "Capcom." A necklace with what appeared to be a large ruby hung about his neck by an ungainly metal chain. He was strong (though he's no body-builder), Ranma had no doubt about that, she could tell by how the shirt stretched over his muscular chest and clung to his arms that he could've probably easily beaten even Ryoga in an arm-wrestling contest. But, judging by the lazy way he sat – totally relax and seemingly unready – he was probably a slow and thus poor fighter. Ranma was fairly sure she could take him down if she had to, after all, nothing beats speed, and Ranma was speedy, so nothing beats Ranma.

Noticing Ranma's stare, the Capcom shirted boy smirked. Breaking the silence, he said loudly in fluent Japanese, "If you're looking for a warm seat, you're welcome to sit on my lap."

At that, the other boys expectantly turned to look to Ranma, each of their eyes brightened as they say her. Inwardly, Ranma smiled, _this is an easy crowd! Looks like I get dinner tonight_. When cruising for food, this girl body has quite the advantage!

Ranma had the body, yes. But she had neither the intelligence nor the experience to use it properly, not to mention she was still a guy at heart. Consequently, instead of ignoring the silver-haired boy to hurt his pride slightly for another, quieter boy, and coming back to the Capcom shirted one later, and thus win two rounds of food. Ranma took the bait from the silver haired boy, and probably won neither round.

Ranma sat down close to – but not next to, or on top of as the silver haired kid had requested – the silver haired boy. She found she couldn't help but stare at the amulet hanging from his neck. A large translucent ruby-like stone framed by an extra shiny metal Ranma guessed to be titanium, silver, or platinum – her precious metal identification abilities were quite lacking as she was only ½ girl. But there was something odd about it, it seemed somehow incomplete, as if it was missing an entire backside. Not to mention there was something decided dark and almost demonic about it.

Noticing Ranma's stare, the silver-haired boy said, "This is half of my mother's amulet, the other half is with my brother."

Ranma nodded stupidly, but said nothing. _Why am I so awkward?_ Her thoughts growled to her. In truth, it was probably because Ranma had never really gone anywhere herself, she had always been with someone – her father, friends, betrothed, rivals, etc. She had never been forced onto a ship alone – at least not when there was nothing exciting to relax the tension happening – and consequently had no idea how to start casual conversations with random people. So she said, rather shyly, the first thing that popped into her mind, "That's nice."

"So…" The boy began coolly, totally unaware of the awkwardness that Ranma was feeling, "What's your name? What's a pretty girl like yourself doing alone on a boat full of rough men?"

"Ranma Saotome," Ranma began, confidence building, awkwardness receding, "Of the Saotome school of indiscriminate grappling."

"Indiscriminate grappling huh?" The boy smirked connotatively hinting at the obvious sexual nature of the statement, but seeing the oblivious expression on Ranma's face, drop the subject, "So what are you doing here? You're going to Aulis with the rest of us?" He motioned toward the other boys, most of which, by now, was back to watching the television.

Ranma nodded brightly, "Are you going to this Spartan Academy too?" She figured a friend would be nice since she _is_, after all, going to a school where no one knew her and vice versa.

"Yep," the boy nodded, "Along with some of these guys…Are you visiting your brother?" The last part was said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Ranma looked confused, "No…My pop enrolled me there…"

The silver haired boy arched his eyebrow, "Oh really?"

"Yeah, so?"

"That's not going to work."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one thing, the Spartan Academy is an all-boys boarding school…"

By now, the other boys turned from the television and were listening in on Ranma and the silver-haired boy. One of the boys from the front row (Ranma was closer toward the back), Ranma noticed, wasn't Japanese, as she first assumed by his jet-black hair, but clearly from some foreign country. He seemed quite scrawny and short – _bully food_, Ranma thought – and he had a lightning shaped scar on his forehead – _beating mark_, Ranma guessed. The scarred boy spoke up rather sarcastically, there was a strange accent to his Japanese, Ranma assumed it was Canadian (she'd once seen a Canadian man from afar, and assumed that would be how a Canadian would sound), "Yep, it's like a pure gay Hogwarts."

"Huh?" Ranma had no idea what he was talking about, "What's a hog warts?"

"Ignore him, Ranma," the silver haired boy said acidly, "he's a whinny idiot."

"Shut it you macho dumbass." The scarred boy retaliated nastily, "Go crawl back to that town of yours and open that stupid porno/hitman shop of yours, no one wants you here."

Ranma figured the two obviously had a history of enmity – after all, she assumed that nerdy looking scrawny boys normally aren't so nasty to just random people. But judging by the scrawniness and sheer lack of physical presence of the scarred boy, Ranma was fairly sure if a fight did break out, the silver haired boy could easily make the other go from scarred boy to head-ripped-off boy. But…but, he's survived this long, maybe he has some hidden powers…

Ranma was probably right, because the scarred boy said, confidently and coolly, "I'd take you on any day you spiteful ass, but I don't pick on the weak." Then, turning to Ranma, he said in a much more gentle tone, "You should come sit with me."

Ramna's eyes widened at the threat – who the hell is he to make threats! Consequently, Ranma looked toward the silver-haired boy expectantly, she was pretty sure she could easily take them both on – probably even at the same time – but she was far too curious to discover just what they had up their sleeves to do anything but sit and watch.

The silver haired boy calmly stood up, the scarred boy also stood. Standing, the scarred boy, who was wearing a long robe laced with pockets, was a head shorter than the silver-haired boy, though the both of them seemed to be the same age – Ranma's age. _There's no way he could win!_ Ranma thought, unless, that is, he had some serious weaponry in that robe of his.

Judging by the way the scarred boy reached into robe, Ranma guess he'd pull out nothing less than a gun or a sword, or at least a knife. For a wild moment, Ranma even imagined he would pull out Inuyasha's _Tetsusaiga_ and wind-scar the silver haired boy. But instead, he pulled out a thin stick that looked like he could've found anywhere in a park. Ranma groaned inwardly.

"I hope you don't mind sleeping with fishes!" the scarred boy said gleefully as he took a quick sidelong glance at Ranma – in case she would laugh.

Ranma smiled sweetly, spurring the boys on – she was quite bored and if she can't participate in a good fight, she'd at least watch one.

The silver haired boy danced about a little, warming up his muscles, "Don't speak, just die." He said coolly.

But then, before the two so much as approached each other, a loud and annoyed voice boomed within the ship cabin from behind Ranma, "No fighting on my ship!" Turning around, Ranma saw the speaker to be a middle-aged rotund man with a balding head and a nasty expression. He wore a name tag that read "CHARLIE." Glancing at the two combatants sourly, he growled nastily, "Damn kids, I'll eat you bastards alive if you damage me ship!" He pulled out a shiny metal fork and showed it to them, apparently, he was serious.

Sheepishly, the scarred boy quickly returned the twig to his robe and himself to his seat. But the silver-haired boy remained uncowed, and only after seeing the scarred boy firmly put to his place, did he slowly saunter back to his seat next to Ranma.

"I said sit down!" Captain Charlie roared, and with a strength and speed that betrayed his bulky appearance, he flung his fork directly at the silver-haired boy's back before turning heel and walking out.

Ranma gasped in astonishment as the fork dug deep into the boy's lower back, only half of the metal object was protruding out of the silver haired-boy's lower back – the other half was probably inside. Ranma grimaced, this Captain Charlie was freakishly strong, not to mention freakishly cruel.

Truth to tell, Ranma was expecting the silver-haired boy to be at least doubling over in pain if not totally in tears and agony, "You okay!" She asked with concern in her voice, she had never seen someone fling a fork straight into another's back.

It was quite the surprise when he calmly and almost uncaringly said to Ranma, "Just a small cut, pull that out will you?"

Ranma glanced around him, checking for tears or signs of pain maybe he's just being tough in front of a girl – but rather he's pretending or not, he's extremely good, there wasn't so much a wrinkle of hurt showing on his face. Giving the fork a quick tug, she pulled it out without as much as a sound from the silver-haired youth. Tossing aside the bloody fork, she went to lift his shirt to check out the wound, but before she could, he had already sat down next to her.

"Umm…" Ranma began dazed, "Should you dress that wound?"

He shook his head, "It's nothing, it probably healed already." He brightened and changed the subject, "So you were saying? You were going to enroll at the Spartan Academy…?'

"Huh? But that wound…" Ranma's words trailed off, fine, if he wanted to act tough, she'll let him, see how long he can last! Recalling what they were talking about before the scarred boy interrupted and a fight almost ensued; Ranma said brightly, "Uh, yeah, I'm going to enroll there, so what?"

"Well, you're a girl, going to an all boys' school…"

"Actually, I'm really a guy," She almost said that, but then, her senses kicked in, there's no way she'll tell just any stranger her secret. Besides, when Furinkan High found out about her problem, people have been trying to dump cold water on her on almost every possible occasion. So instead, she said, "There's probably a girl's wing." Yeah, that would make the most sense, as her pop wouldn't just send her off to some boys' school knowing her problem…

The silver haired boy shrugged, "Maybe…I've never been there myself, so I can't say for sure."

Besides, it's not like it matters, once she gets off at Aulis, she'll find a map and make her way back to Nerima. Then, she'll have a "talk" with that darn principle that expelled her. And before anyone could notice, she'll be back in Furinkan High and living with the Tendos again…She sighed inwardly, no matter show much stuff had happened to them back in Nerima, she realized that she actually misses the places. She wanted to be back there, with her pop, her father-in-law, that greedy Nabiki, the lovable Kasumi, even Ryoga and a certain badly built tomboy and so many others…_I wonder what Akane would say if she knew what I was thinking_

Author's Notes: And so the boat, carrying Ranma, sailed down the river, to the city of Aulis and the Spartan Academy of the Modern Day Warriors. Waiting on the port of Aulis would be the man from the academy to pick up the students and drive them to the academy – but of course, before getting off, Ranma would have to use some hot water from the nearby restroom to change back to a boy. Who knows what will happen, new friends, old enemies, old friends, new enemies, interesting adventures, daring rescues, and the works. Or maybe Ranma will just go back to Nerima and it'll all be over (not likely). But honestly, what decency _can_ come out of a half-boy going to an all boys' academy?

On another note, the beginning chapters are always the hardest to write as it's rather difficult to have them terribly exciting or entertaining. But they are necessary for the effects they provide later, so bear with me! But why did I include this seemingly out-of-place and boring boat scene when I could've easily just skipped to Ranma first being introduced to the school? This will become clear in the later chapters. I had better clear this up before it causes any problems – Aulis is a fictional city (although the name is based upon the Greek legend of the Trojan War where Aulis was the port city that the Greek leaders set off for Troy), you probably won't find it on the map, but if you do, it's not my Aulis.


	3. Aulis the City of Magic

Chapter Three: Aulis the City of Magic

Ranma woke up to the sounds of birds chirping; dawn, _better start the morning sparring session with Pop_, Ranma thought to himself. The morning rays were already flooding in through the window, and he'd better get up if he wanted to be on time for school. Lazily, he rolled over and sent his hand smacking into the panda to wake him.

Only, instead of hitting against the soft and furry panda that was his father, his hand smacked against a hard white wall. Confused, Ranma bolted up and looked about; the memory of yesterday and where he was flooding back into him.

He had been on a ship bound for the city of Aulis and the Spartan Academy for the Modern Warrior after his expulsion from Furinkan High School in Nerima. Then, after getting off at the local port, the Academy's student body representative – which as Ranma remembered seemed slightly older than himself – had picked them up and drove them to this hotel – Novatel Inn – to rest for the night (the representative almost fed them).

_And that's where I am_, Ranma thought to himself as he glanced about the room. It was certainly a fancily decorated room, two small sofa type chairs sat in the far corner, and a large television rested on the table opposite the bed he sat on. The bed itself, however, was certainly something new to Ranma, who, up to now, had never slept in a bed before – sleeping bags, floor mats, cold ground, etc. being the medium that normally delivered him sleep – consequently, he felt extra refreshed and comfortable. On the wall, there was what appeared at first to be a bloodstain, but upon second glance, turned out to be abstract art, which Ranma, who didn't even understand normal art, couldn't conceive.

The boy (man) he shared the room with (hotel rooms generally have two beds separated by a small light counter), a burly and muscular man who Ranma didn't notice on the ship with them, was apparently already up, and judging by the sound of water running on the other side of the wall in the bathroom, was showering. The school representative had simply thrown the two of them one key, and told them they'd be sleeping in the same room. Ranma didn't really care, he didn't know anyone at all, and so one person was just as good as another (the silver-haired boy was paired up with the scarred boy, much to their chagrin). Besides, despite having enough muscles and thus strength to rip the ass off a jackass, this boy seemed nice enough.

The sounds of flowing water soon stopped, and the muscular boy stepped out of the bathroom. He had nothing but a towel covering his lower body, Ranma's eyes widened at his fine physique (widened in surprise, not in attraction – Ranma doesn't swing that way). Ranma fancied if he just flexed his six-pack, he'd probably rip that towel.

But the boy didn't notice or mind Ranma's gawking, instead, he said with a pleasant smile, "Morning sleepyhead, nothing like a nice warm shower to wake you up! I can't believe you slept through my snoring!"

"Morning." Ranma replied pleasantly, there was something about his character that Ranma felt he could immediately warm up to, "the bed was comfortable, and I sleep like a log."

"Me too!" He said brightly, and then added, "Oh, and my name is Caramon, and I'm from up north, but I learned some Japanese from school." He walked over to Ranma and extended out a hand.

For a moment, Ranma stared at his hand dumbly, not knowing what to do, then, mentally smacking himself, shook his hand, "I'm Ranma Saotome of the Saotome school of indiscriminate grappling."

"Good to meet you Ranma," Caramon beamed, "It'll be nice knowing someone before the Academy, I hear the place is tough!" He went over to his bed, sat down, and opened his backpack (which was sitting nearby), fumbling for some clothe.

Ranma, not particularly wanting to stare at the man getting dressed, got up from bed and headed for the bathroom – it's been too long since he had a good warm soak. Shedding his nighttime pajamas, which consisted of nothing more than a tank top and a pair of short boxers, Ranma stared at himself in the mirror. Sure, he didn't have Caramon's burly and manly muscles, but at least he had speed and ass-kicking on his side. Ranma flexed his muscles…still nothing.

Stepping into the bathtub, Ranma twisted the knob he assumed controlled the hot water (the knob had a strip of red on it, and red usually meant hot).

"Ahh! Cold!" Ranma quickly clapped a hand over her mouth as a stream of cold water pelted down upon Ranma from the hanging shower head, if Caramon suddenly heard a girl's scream coming from the showers there would be a lot of explaining to do – to say the least! Twisting the other knobs, she waited for the stream to warm up and return her masculinity, but the water only grew colder, "Oh hell…" She muttered.

"Ranma?" Caramon's voice sounded from the outside, "What was that scream? You okay in there?"

"I'm -" Ranma coughed, attempting to pitch her voice lower, "No, I'm fine, don't worry." But still, her voice still sounded like a girl's.

"What's wrong with your voice?" Caramon's concerned voice wafted in again, "You sure you don't need some help?"

_Oh no! He's catching on! _Ranma thought desperately. "No thanks, I'm fine, it's just a cold," Ranma lied, which was stupid, considering Caramon had just – seconds ago – heard Ranma's normal and healthy male voice. And for a wild moment, Ranma imagined Caramon would catch her lie, break down the door – she was sure he was strong enough to – and see her naked.

But instead, "Well, if you need help, just ask."

"Okay." Ranma breathed easier.

Ranma tried twisting the knobs some more, of all three knobs present, no matter which one she twisted in which ever way, the water seemed to only get cold. If this kept up, it'd be shooting beams of ice at her soon. Determined not to make matters worse, Ranma called out to Caramon, "Caramon, which knob turns on the hot water?"

"They all do," Caramon answered.

"Oh hell…" Ranma cursed under her breath, she called out again, "But the water is freakin' cold right now!"

"Really?" Caramon's confused voice sounded through, and then Caramon said, "Put on a towel then, I'm coming in to see what the problem is."

Ranma's heart froze, her blood suddenly felt colder than the water that poured down on her. Panicking, she suddenly lost the words of reply in her mouth. She heard footsteps outside growing louder. Any moment now, Caramon would open the door – which for some reason just wouldn't lock. "Wait!" Ranma cried out, "don't coming in I figured it out." In panic Ranma forgot to pitch low her voice.

"Ranma?" Caramon's even more confused voice sounded in, "Is someone else in there with you?"

"Umm…" Ranma once again pitched low her voice, "Nope, just me, and don't worry, I figured out the hot water!"

"Okay." Caramon must've walked back to his bed.

Ranma breathed a sigh of relief and proceeded to wash herself. The water remained ridiculously cold, but that didn't bother Ranma, as a martial artist, he was use to physically taxing situations. Besides, it's not as if it was the first time Ranma was forced to wash in cold water, when Ramna and Pop were traveling all over China, they washed in cold water all the time. But still, that Caramon, thinking _this _water was warm…that's truly something! _But then again, he did say he is from up north_, Ranma reasoned with herself, _maybe that's why_.

Oh well, it's no big deal, she could just sneak into the kitchen later and smuggle some hot water to turn herself back to a guy. All she'll need will be something to tape down her breasts and some loose-fitting clothe, both of which should be easy enough to acquire. The towels in the bathroom will more than suffice for her breasts, and her own clothe will be loose-fitting enough in her girl-form.

Which unfortunately, mixed with a glance toward the nearby empty counter, made Ranma realize she had forgotten to bring a change of clothe inside the bathroom. Aside from the tank top and the short boxers, Ranma had nothing exactly decent to cover herself. "Oh crap," she muttered to herself, "How am I going to get out of this one…?"

She contemplated using the towers to bind down her boobs and just walking out wearing the tank top and boxers, but her was fairly sure Caramon – any man not struck blind by the gods for that matter – would notice her hourglass figure, the smooth creaminess of her shapely legs, the softness of her womanly skin, the curves of her well-built body. "Argh!" Ranma cried (not too loudly), "Why am I built with such a magnificent figure? If only I looked more like Akane this moment, I could get away with being a boy!" Habitually, Ranma ducked her head, as if waiting for the hammer blow from Akane.

But none came – Akane was back in Nerima. Ranma sighed, _I miss her…_ then berated herself for being so sentimental, now wasn't the time for such things.

As if reinforcing her thoughts, Caramon's voice wafted in again, "Ranma, you better hurry, Tybalt, the guy who picked us yesterday, just called to tell us to get downstairs with the rest of the guys, we've got to grab breakfast and get going."

"Son of a…" Ranma cursed under her breath, now was definitely not a good time. Shutting off the water and stepping out of the shower, Ranma called out, "Okay, I'll be right out…But can you hand me my clothe? I forgot to bring them in here…"

"Just change out here." Caramon replied, he obvious didn't want to rifle through other people's things.

"Umm…" Ranma's mind raced to find a good excuse, but none came, "I can't…"

"Do you have some sort of secret that you don't want leaked out?" Caramon's amused joking voice sounded through the walls, "Are you really a girl?"

The joke was entirely lost on Ranma, who nearly swallowed her tongue in surprise, _Oh my god, he knows!_ Panic rose in Ranma's thoughts. For wild moment, he imagined the door knob being turning, the door creaking open, and Caramon coming inside to have a good look. Instinctively, she cried out, "No! Don't…!" But just as quick as panic seeped into her blood, her senses took control again, "I don't have any secrets, I'm just not use to changing in front of people, that's all. Can you just drag my backpack next to the door?" Ranma was fairly sure she had decent clothe in her pack.

"No problem."

Space Here

Aside from the moment Ranma came out of the shower room and Caramon eyed her with an arch eyebrow and said to her all but one of the following –

"Was your hair that reddish earlier?"

"You seem shorter."

"What's wrong with your voice?"

"What's that on your chest?"

"Ohh, your breasts are nice and soft, let me remove that grimy towel and expose your naked beauty. Then, let me take you, in the full blossom of wonderful womanhood, to the lobby floor of this hotel and make love to you like the pigs on an Okinawa farm."

Nothing further exciting or worth noting occurred that morning in the hotel. Ranma considered simply running off and exploring the city on his own and eventually find his way back to Nerima, but after taking one look at the street signs, which was written in a Chinese and English (but not Japanese), he turned back to the hotel. Consequently, Ranma met Tybalt, the pugnacious student body representative who picked them up the night previous, and a quiet and introverted older (though not by much) kid named Richard (Ranma was fairly sure Richard wasn't a Japanese name) whose Japanese wasn't quite as good. Along with Caramon, the silver-haired boy (who seemed to be in perfectly healthy condition), and the scarred boy from the previous night, the party of six set off in Tybalt's car to the train station.

"Say, Tybalt," Ranma fumbled with the strange name, "Why don't you just drive us to the school? Why do we have to take a train there?"

"Hear me close, for I will explain now – You shall not find me apt to pay the price of gas. Thou knowests not the pricy parking of appertaining academy." Tybalt responded.

Ranma nodded, making a mental note not to speak to Tybalt unless absolutely necessary. Turning to Caramon, he asked, "Why does he talk like that?"

Caramon shrugged unknowingly, and went back to gawking at the city of Aulis.

A visitor once described Aulis as a shinning pearl in a sea of gray sand. He couldn't have been more correct. The heart of the city lay crowned in the steel and glass skyscrapers that dotted the land and congregated in the center. Surrounding the city, rolling hills borne the comfy and lofty homes of the city's residents, most of which were quite wealthy or at least well-of. Aulis was a huge city, big enough to fit in a million Nerimas – or at least in Ranma's mind.

A modern city found and built rather recently (within the past three hundred years), Aulis was famous for three things, the first being that the heart of Aulis, like the heart of any megalopolis, was the commercial sky-scrapers and towering office buildings. But unlike the standard megalopolis, where hobos and the homeless shuffled on the streets in the commercial center, the heart of Aulis remained relatively clean and lovely.

The second being that at night, when the businessman, stock broker, bank manager, etc. went home to their families, and the nightlife of Aulis kicked in. Every type of shop – from coffee to coffin – imaginable to man (legend has it there's even a hit-man shop) could be found in Aulis, every glow of light could be found on some shop, and consequently, every type of tourist could be found wondering the streets in awe. And the third being a rather exotic type of bread-based snack called the Ogasmi (know to tourists as the "orgasm.").

Bu still, it seems strange that tourists would visit Aulis, after all, there were no historical landmarks in Aulis – no senate where Julius Caesar was stabbed, no cursed pyramids that housed the remains of ancient kings, no museums containing famous naked sculptures of a well-muscle Bible character – but tourism was nevertheless a major Aulisian industry. Perhaps because of the fact that Aulis was nestled on a river within a sheer valley walled by cliffs, or perhaps simply because of its beautiful city lights, no one really knew – they just came anyway.

_I wonder what this city looks like at night_, Ranma thought to himself as he stared out the window, watching the skyscrapers growing in size as they neared them. It would probably be quite the site for Ranma, who was quite the small town boy in the big city.

Ranma's thoughts continued to flow as Tybalt's car wove through the Aulisian streets and parked itself in the train station's lot. Soon, Ranma found himself standing with the other four boys in a busy hall filled with milling people rushing about getting from place to place. Tybalt had left to purchase train tickets for them.

"Await for me in station nine, and a quarter of my admiration to anyone whose purse is not cut!" Then, he ran off leaving the group of five odd boys from all over standing alone.

Ranma spoke up, "Well, we saw station four back there, and we're at station five right now, so we probably should go this way." He pointed farther down the hall. The group of boys walked down.

Reaching station nine, the scarred boy – Ranma heard him being called Harry or Henry – suddenly spoke up loudly, "Here's station nine! And look," He pointed farther down the hall, "There's station ten, but where's nine and a quarter?"

"He didn't say to wait for him in station nine and a quarter," the silver-haired boy said irritably, "He told us to wait in station nine, and a quarter of his admiration for whoever doesn't get pick-pocketed."

Ranma felt his pockets to confirm the contents, then realize he had nothing on him of value anyways.

"You sure?" Caramon asked, "I heard nine and a quarter too."

"Well, do you see station nine and a quarter?" the silver haired boy motioned around.

"Maybe," Harry or Henry spoke up smartly, "it's magical and is hidden behind a wall to prevent the average folk from entering. I mean, the Spartan Academy _is _an elite school, and has it's own train, that would make sense! See, look at that red-haired woman!" He pointed up ahead where a woman with uncombed and curly red haired wearing what appeared to be dirty rags was counting the bricks on the walls.

"I seriously doubt one would be able to travel through a solid wall, she's probably insane." Richard said quietly, his first words Ranma has heard.

"Just watch," Harry/Henry said.

The woman, after counting what seemed like the hundredth brick, seemed satisfied and backed up. Then, in a full burst of speed, she charged at the wall. Expecting the woman to disappear behind the wall, Ranma was somewhat disappointed to hear a loud crush and thud as the woman crunched against wall and fell on her back onto the floor. He couldn't help but laugh a little. "I guess Richard's right."

The woman stood up, took a glance about the hall, her eyes pausing momentarily upon the group. Then, a rather intelligent smile splayed upon her lips, she got up, and walked farther down the hall and disappeared.

Confused, the group waited. And only until Tybalt returned and ushered them into their train compartment did the group members reach into respective pockets and realize they've all (except Ranma who had nothing) been robbed – some cutpurse must've slipped his hands about them when they were busy watching the supposedly mad woman.

"Didst thou harken me not?" Tybalt smiled ruefully as the five boys sat around small table in their own train compartment while the streets and buildings outside zoomed on by, "Yonder wench and accomplices pilfers the coins and treasure of all who they deemests worthy."

Seeing no response from the boys (most likely from the fact he was quite difficult to understand), Tybalt changed the subject and his way of speech, "Well, we've all yet been formally introduced. I shall start first, my name is Tybalt of the Capulet clan, I'm originally from Verona, Italy, but learned a spot of Japanese, English, and Chinese in the Academy. What about you?" He gestured toward the older boy named Richard sitting next to him.

"I'm Richard Feynman, I'm from England, but my Japanese isn't very good…" He fumbled with the words and Ranma struggle to listen.

Suddenly, Tybalt gestured across the table toward Ranma, "What about you?" This caught Ranma by surprise, as he expected he'd go around the circle.

"My name is Ranma Saotome, I'm from Japan, I-"

"Your name is Ranma Saotome!" the scarred boy interrupted arching an eyebrow, "that's funny…"

"Why is that funny…" As soon as Ranma finished his sentence he realized why. Yesterday, as a girl, he had told them her name was Ranma Saotome, and now, as a boy, he had told them the same thing. And since Ranma just gave them a major clue, they must've by now probably already have guessed at Ranma secret. Ranma gulped nervously – he didn't want his girl side to get out, especially not to students at an all boys' school, god knows what they'll do (Ranma shuddered at the thought)!

"Well, yesterday, a girl that looks like you told us the same thing," the silver-haired boy said, "She said she'd be enrolling in the academy too…"

_Oh my god_, Ranma's thoughts panicked, _they're quick, at this rate, they'll figure it out before I even get off this train!_

"So, who is this red-pigtailed girl Ranma? I'm sure you, of all people, would know," the silver haired boy insisted as he pulled out a large bottle of drinking water, "what's she have to do with you?"

Ranma paled, they had him trapped, and taking note of the curious expression on their faces, they'll probably worm the girl right out of him. Worse, judging by the large bottle of water in the silver haired boy's hands, he probably somehow figured it out already. In a wild blur of imagination, Ranma thought the boy would suddenly leap over the table and pour the cold water on him revealing his femininity. Ranma slightly opened and clenched his fists, readying his hands to deflect the incoming water.

But instead, the silver haired boy simple took a long draught from the bottle and tucked it away, "Well?" He motioned at Ranma.

Ranma was back to square one again, but this time, common sense came to his rescue – he won't be staying with these guys that long anyway since he'll be swimming back to Nerima soon, it probably wouldn't matter what he said, so Ranma careless shrugged, "I don't know what you're talking about, I don't know this girl."

The others continued to curiously stare at Ranma obviously unconvinced, but they didn't press him…yet. Tybalt eventually changed the subject, and everyone officially met each other.

The train rattled on to the Spartan Academy.

Author's Note: Yep, so Ranma's going to the new school where he'll meet some new people. Keep in mind though, most of these new people are from somewhere else (though they may not all be in their exact former characters every second). Also, old characters (Ryoga, Nabiki, Akane, etc.) will occasionally drop in, and may even have a part in the story. On another note, all five characters Ranma has met so far have their roots elsewhere (meaning I didn't create them), see if you can guess them.


	4. Ranma Snared Down

Chapter Four: Ranma Snared Down

"Alright class, we have a new student with us today," the teacher said in English, "this is Ranma Saotome."

Ranma, hearing his name being called, looked up in confusion – he didn't understand a word of what the teacher just said. _Stupid school, why can't everyone just speak Japanese!_ Ranma thought in annoyance and embarrassment.

But of course, Ranma's rants do nothing to fix his problems, instead all Ranma could do was just stared at the teacher. She reminded him strongly of Miss Hinako's adult form, long flowing black hair, rimless glasses, a young beautiful womanly figure, yet tall and imposing. But she was also quite a few things Miss Hinako wasn't – there was none of Miss Hinako's girlish innocence (that's probably because this teacher wasn't a little girl half the time), in its place, there was a certain aura of quiet confidence and raw power about her that demanded respect, despite the fact Ranma couldn't understand her. One look into her cold hard black eyes, Ranma, through all his pride, knew better than to rifle with this teacher. _Am I afraid of her?_ Ranma thought to himself perplexedly.

Seeing the look of confusion on Ranma's face, the boy that sat next to him smiled and leaned over to Ranma to begin to translate to Japanese what the teacher had said.

Noticing, the teacher gestured toward the translating boy, "Since this is homeroom, Michael, go show the new student around."

Once again, Ranma stared blankly, not understanding. He saw the boy that sat next to him stand up and walk toward the door before beckoning Ranma to go with him. Ranma stared at him with the cocked eyebrow of confusion.

There was something odd about this boy, though he may look like one, he could probably never pass for a run-of-the-mill Asian boy. His silky black hair was kept long (albeit combed) and flowed past his shoulders, the ends of which curled slightly, girlishly – a hairstyle unpopular for boys in any Asian country. He carried himself with a light – almost catlike (Ranma shuddered at the thought) – grace that Ranma has rarely seen in other boys. Looking into his eyes, there was a flare of adventure and mischief laced with calculated cunning. On his otherwise smooth and creamy cheeks there was a small, albeit deep, scar, this boy was obviously quite lucky, anyone else with a scar on their face would've seemed disfiguringly ugly, that his only enhanced his own radiance. Decided, Ranma found there was a certain chi of feral wildness about the boy.

This time, the teacher distracted Ranma's thoughts in fluent Japanese, "Michael," she pointed to the boy in question in introduction, who as Ranma studied him more, seemed somehow oddly more and more familiar, "will show you around the school during homeroom. I suggest you pick up some English from him." She paused, noticing Ranma's continued blatant stares, dryly, she said, "Unless you have trouble staring at boys while walking, I suggest you follow him Saotome."

Flustered, Ranma hurried out.

Outside, the boy named Michael was waiting for Ranma, "C'mon, I'll show you around."

Ranma walked down the hall with Michael, which, as Ranma guessed, couldn't be his real name since the boy seemed hardly like a westerner – instead, they more Ranma thought about it, the more there seemed to be something definitely familiar about him…

Then Ranma scoffed, why should it matter to him, he'd be leaving soon anyway…In fact, he should've left yesterday after Tybalt had left him to get him registered and sent him to pick up his books – but hunger held him down and forced him to the cafeteria to dine. _Stupid stomach_, Ranma growled at his tummy. And this morning, before Ranma even shook the sleep out of his head, Tybalt had dragged him and Caramon from their beds and into class (Caramon was dropped off in a nearby classroom). These Academy fools seem to be rather good at keeping him tied down with new things, they're probably planning to keep Ranma for themselves – after all, they probably needed a decent martial artist. But Ranma had his own welfare to worry about, and so he decided, _that's it, no more delays_; Ranma was determined to take the next opportunity to get out of this academy.

After all, Nerima would probably be a mess without him there. He could imagine it all now, Nabiki would lament about losing her cash cow, Akane (who could blame her) would be crying her eyes out, Mr. Tendo would probably be enraged about losing his son-in-law, Ukyo, Shampoo, and even Kodachi would probably be breaking heads trying to find out what happened to him. And, Ranma thought with a smirk, Kuno, Happosai, and a host of his (more accurately her) male fans would no doubt be missing their Pigtailed girl. Worse, all types of hellish demons and evil devils would probably ravage the city now that their martial arts master is gone. Ranma's smirk grew meaner, his stupid old man would probably be cowardly hiding as a panda, but when they find out where he sent his son, they'd all probably pound him flat. _Stupid old man, sending me off because…Stupid Furinkan High, it's not like I'm the only one who has done crazy things there,_ Ranma thought with a scoff, _I'll show them how much good I provide for the town. Stupid Pop, why is he sending me to this out-of-the-way school anyway! And where the hell is he getting the money from?_

"Ranma," Michael's irritated voice wrenched Ranma's thoughts back, "Are you even listening to me?"

"Oh sorry," Ranma said sheepishly.

Giving Ranma a final look – to make sure he was listening – Michael continued, his voice filled with pride, "The Spartan Academy of the Modern Warrior was built some one hundred years ago when China was invaded by eight different European countries and Japan. At that time, America pushed an open door policy, which was thoroughly agreed upon by all. To commemorate the occasion, the finest of the eight countries came together and built this school atop of the famous Shenren Hill.

"Unfortunately, the school started out at first as simply being a sort of cruel joke played against the defeated China – the world's way of saying to China, 'hey, here's a cookie, now, this should make the raping and pillaging we did to you feel better.' – But the first headmaster (we call them principles now because of American customs) didn't get the joke, and took his job pretty seriously. I forget his name, but he whipped the staff and students into shape, he hired new staff members whenever someone was seen as incompetent, he expelled students simply because their grades or attitude weren't satisfactory, and so much more. A lot of people were critical and demanded the governments of the varying countries that built the school to step in, but the kings of the respective countries hardly cared, and so the headmaster had his way every time. Which is good, I suppose, because from him, the precedent was established that only the most tough and ruthless but intelligent and wise would be able to teach at this school, and because of that only the best come out of it. Hell, Mao Tze Dong even attended this school for a semester – which is probably why he didn't have it destroyed during the Cultural Revolution in China.

"Today, this school is the finest boys' military academy in the entire world. The school's obviously been expanded upon since when it was first built as a high school. Now, the school offers courses from the sophomore year in high school all the way to a college PhD. Here, leaders of men and heroes of legends are taught and schooled; it is the greatest honor to graduate from this school. This school has bred the toughest fighters, wiliest businessmen, most cunning lawyers, most dashing heroes, whatever, we're the best…Ahh, Here's the roof, and you can see the whole city from here since the weather's pretty good today!"

At that moment, the two boys had walked out of the hall that contained their classroom onto a flat roof that one would find on an office building. From here, Ranma could indeed see much of the city – the skyscrapers in the center, the other rolling hills that contained short and stout houses; the building Ranma stood on was apparently the tallest in a small radius. From the east, a gusty morning wind brushed by, and Michael's silky black hair waved in the air. Off in the distance, an early morning sun was crawling above a range of mountains casting huge shadows of rock and steel over the tower – it was quite a sight. Less of a grand sight, however, was off to one edge, a small group of boys were looking through a rather large telescope, only the telescope wasn't aimed at the sky, but at another building some distance (though not too far away).

"What are they looking for?" Ranma asked Michael.

"Unfortunately," Michael's voice was flatly irritated, "because there are no girls in this school (it's a boys' academy, after all), and all the masculine things we do here, we have one weakness – girls. Those guys are spying on the Sacred Heart Girls' Academy a few blocks away from here...It's pretty early in the morning, and even though our classes have already begun, the girls' school has barely begun, they're probably watching them get up and take their morning showers or such."

"Well, if they are that desperate for a girl's body, what about Ms. Ying (Ranma's teacher)?" Ranma pointed out.

"People have tried, but no one has ever succeeded, Ms. Ying may not look like it, but she is ridiculously strong and fast – they say she even does martial arts! So, she is pretty much one of those idols the boys gawk at from a distance," Michael said with admiration, then his tone changed to disgust, "and sadly, knowing the lecherous things that the boys do up here, no girl would come up here…It's a ruthless cycle. The less the boys have contract with girls, the more terrible the things they'll do to one when they do find one, and the more terrible the rumors of what the boys will do, the less the girls show up. Nowadays, female siblings, even mothers for that matter don't visit their sons in the academy…I'd feel sorry for whoever boy's sister does come to visit him…even she probably won't be able to save her!"

"She? Who is she?" Ranma asked.

"I don't know, they say that every time a girl _does_ come up here, and the boys manage to get surround her or capture her, some other girl dressed in skimpy clothe always manages to rescue and free her." Michael shrugged, "I don't know, I've never actually seen a girl come up here since I came to this school a year and half ago, but if anyone, it's probably just Ms. Ying protecting members of her sex. Whatever, it's not like it matters, the boys (especially the upperclassmen) has set up elaborate plans to capture this mystery girl for the sake of vengeance, they're all just waiting for an innocent girl to come up here – which isn't going to happen."

Ranma gulped nervously, now, more than ever, Ranma must keep his girl form out of the students' hands, and himself out of this school. "Say, Michael, where would I get a map of Aulis and the surrounding areas?" Ranma asked innocently.

"Check the library when it opens later, there's maps of the entire world in there, they say it's the biggest school library in the world." Michael nodded proudly.

_Excellent_, Ranma thought to himself, and since he'll be out of here soon, he may as well have a little fun, maybe even kick a little ass. In a loud voice he called out to the boys spying, "You stinkin' bunch of perverted pigs! Go back to class."

Hearing Ranma, Michael quickly grabbed him and ran back into the safety of the hall before the lecherous boys so much as turned to face Ranma, annoyed, he said, "Why did you that! Those guys are upperclassmen; they'll rip your ass to pieces if you piss them off!"

Ranma scoffed, "I can take them." He rolled up his sleeves and marched out to declare his challenge again.

Michael stopped him, "Don't get so cocky, they've survived to be upperclassmen, they'll survive you," Michael said warningly, "Besides, you can't go fighting during normal class time."

Ranma scoffed again but acquiesced – there'd be no point in getting into trouble before he could secure his exit – and the two boys walked about the school some more.

Eventually, Michael spoke up again, "So," he asked, "Where are you from Ranma?"

"Japan," Ranma answered, "My Pop sent me here." Once again, that nagging question of just how his Pop was paying for this school popped up in his mind.

"Well, obviously Japan considering you only speak Japanese," Michael said dryly as he tossed his hair, "But where? What city?"

"It's a small place, Nerima."

"Oh," Michael said disappointed, he obvious never heard of the place.

"What about you?"

"I'm from a small place too," Michael said brightly, "I'm from Mt. Quanjing in the Qing Hai province in China."

"Mt. Quanjing…?" Ranma muttered to himself, the area sounded familiar, and then it hit him, "Jusenkyo!"

Michael's eyes widened in surprised, "How did you know? Have you been there before?"

"Yes, I once trained there with my father a while back, my stupid Pop fell into a XiongMaoChuan and became a panda, but then he knocked me down and I fell…" Ranma stopped himself before he revealed too much, but he could tell by the look of alarm and amusement in Michael's face that he was catching on. Since he came from Jusenkyo, he obviously knew about the curses, and by now would've guessed at the existence of Ranma's curse…

Ranma's fears were confirmed, "So you fell into…" Michael prompted, but seeing Ranma's face turn to stone, he jabbed Ranma lightly on the rib, "fell into which spring?"

"Umm…" Ridiculous thoughts of escaping the questioning ranging from telling to truth to outright throwing Michael out of the nearby window popped into Ranma's mind, but in the end, he settled for the first lie that popped into his head, "I fell…down…and broke my leg while training there, so I have a bad memory of the place."

Michael's eyes smirked in amusement, a lopsided grin rose to his lips, he obviously didn't believe Ranma. Strangely though, he didn't press, instead he changed the subject, "Whoops, we're walking the wrong way, there's nothing over there," he turned and went down another hallway, Ranma followed, "I'll show you the field and the P.E. department items."

_P.E. department _Ranma thought smartly, _he's obviously planning something_. Ranma eyed the boy leading him. "Michael" had neither enormous muscles signifying strength nor the quickness of step (light catlike grace yes, but not that Ranma-ian quickness) – as far as Ranma could tell at least – that meant speed. If he _did_ try anything, Ranma was fairly confident he could easily beat down this boy even if this Michael was taller and probably older than Ranma. Ranma readied himself for a sudden splash of cold water or a hit from a water bucket…or a fist.

But nothing hit him, except, of course, an thought, consequently, he spoke up, "Wait, Michael," Ranma struggled pronouncing the English name, "if you're from Jusenkyo, China, then 'Michael' can't be your real name…can it?"

"Well, my Chinese name isn't any easier to pronounce than Michael, but it sounds closest to 'Spice.' Call me that if it's easier for you." He said lightly, "I'm from the musk dynasty."

Ranma nearly swallowed his tongue in shock, "The musk dynasty! That village of people obsessed with mastering some secret kung fu style to the point that they actually change animals to females and use them to bred so their sons inherit the powerful abilities of any given animal – like a tiger for strength, a wolf for speed, and a dragon for powerful chi!" Ranma said it all in one breath (this is only possible and practical when written down). _Does this mean that he has some hidden powers too?_ The thought ran through Ranma with a cold flutter – he remembered the last fight he had with a musk warrior, he had nearly lost his manhood and his life for good…he probably would've too if his breasts and Ryoga didn't jump in and save him. But Ranma did beat the bastard, and that meant Ranma was stronger and smarter than anyone animal-boy.

"Yep," Michael or Spice nodded as he tucked his hair behind his ear, "how do you know so much about my people?"

"I once fought and defeated a Musk dynasty warrior named Herb," Ranma said with some pride.

"Herb!" Spice gasped, "Really! Herb's my older brother! And you beat him!"

"That's right," Ranma said cockily, any moment now, Ranma was expecting the look of shock on Spice's face to turn to anger or vengeance at this dishonoring of a family member. Ranma readied himself for a fight.

But instead, Spice only smiled and said with quiet bitterness, "Good, that jerk had it coming."

Ranma arched his eyebrow.

Space Here

"You see, from a distance, the academy looks like three office buildings each one taller than the last – like signal bars on a cell phone. The shortest building is only three stories, that one was the original academy built a hundred years ago. You can still see the original wood and bricks used to build the original school; but that one's used as the office administration building nowadays. The middle one at six stories is used as the dorms and bathhouses, it's pretty new, only a few decades old. The third and tallest one at nine stories (that's the one we came out of), that's the one that holds the classrooms and such." Spice gestured about him, "We're on the Olympic Field right now for the track-and-field sports, over there is a baseball diamond, basketball hoops, tennis courts, volleyball courts, etc…You should join up with a sports team unless you want to be one of the few people taking P.E…unless, that is, you excel exceptionally on an academic field…Do you excel academically?"

Ranma, who once confused the simple math problem "1-1-3x4" for an English vocabulary word that began with "H," modestly answered, "My strength doesn't lie in nerdy books."

"No? Well, you still need to at least be decent in your academic fields…Let's see your courses list…Hmm, homeroom, basic advanced math, English, Chinese, chemistry, economics, health, and PE…" Spice sized Ranma up and down, "You can probably make it on the kung fu team/club, who knows. Either way, if you want to try out, you'll have to talk to the club/sports team president this way for now," Spice motioned Ranma along.

"Over there is the shower/changing room, and this," Spice had led Ranma into a walled off area, "is the swimming pool," Then, more darkly, "The water for both facilities is kept cold because Spartans are expected to endure such physical taxations. Wouldn't you like to test the water Ranma? No one else is here."

But Ranma didn't even hear the last part, instead, Ranma cried in alarm, "Wait, what! Only the pool shower room uses cold water right!" Quickly regaining his composure, Ranma said more calmly, "I mean, not that it matters, I can endure the cold just as well as anyone else."

Spice shrugged, putting his hands on his hips, "Nope, we're expected to live in hardship so we don't go soft, so warm showers are out of the question, kid!" Spice clapped a hand on Ranma's shoulder, "Besides, there's no use denying it Ranma, I know cold water makes you change forms. If you tell me what your other form is, I can probably help you with getting hot water from the kitchen or whatnot."

Ranma hesitated, could he trust this Spice?

"Well," Spice prodded Ranma, "It'd be nice having a friend here, you know, this school can get pretty rough especially if cold water is such a problem for you."

Ranma relented with a sigh, "Okay Spice, I'll tell you: I'm really a girl." Ranma would've said that, if, that is, he didn't realize right before the words escaped his lips, that he didn't need to tell anyone or fear how rough the school would be because he wouldn't be attending this stupid school for much longer! He'd be out of here as soon as the library opens and he can grab a map of the place. So instead, he just said carelessly, "Don't know what you're talking about with this changing form stuff."

Spice narrowed his eyes, obviously unwilling to relent.

But at that moment, someone behind them called out, "Hearken Ranma Saotome!" Ranma and Spice turned around, Tybalt approached them and said, "The wizen administration seeketh to confer with thee in yonder office," Seeing the blank expression on both Spice and Ranma's faces, Tybalt sighed, "I knowests not their causes, but content thee, gentle Ranma and saucy Spice, with but that they simply do require your presence. Fly then, with greatest tread, to seeketh counsel in yonder stead." He pointed to the three storied administration building.

Space Here

"So what's up? Why did you call me here?" Though Ranma's voice was cocky and impudent, he looked, from his seat in front of the Principle's desk, about the principle's room with awe.

The principle himself was a rather elderly man, though he still seemed to be in good physical shape. He may have been handsome when he was younger, but now, everything from his graying hairs to his still intelligent and blazing eyes spoke of his age-wrought wisdom and shrewd smarts. He was obvious not Asian – _European_ _maybe_ Ranma thought – yet he spoke fluent, if not mildly accented, Japanese. He obviously hasn't lived how ever many centuries he did for nothing! That fact was further reinforced by the many plaques and certificates on the walls, each commending a Charles Maurice de Talleyrand – probably the principle's name – for various things ranging from single-handedly taking down a bear to having a PhD in international diplomacy (there was also one for winning the 1978 Ms. America contest, or at least according to the scant English Ranma knew).

"How do you like my Academy Mr. Saotome?" Talleyrand asked pleasantly, "I trust you've made some friends now?"

"Meh, I still prefer my old High School," Ranma shrugged, not particularly caring if he offended anyone since he'd be out of this school by tonight, "Say, just what time the library opens?"

"At nine o'clock young man, after your first class ends" Talleyrand said with the same pleasantry, not at all showing the annoyance Ranma expected him to, "You're in that much of a hurry to learn more?"

"Whatever gramps," Ranma scoffed, his thoughts, for some reason, had once again settled upon mentally beating down a certain panda and whoever school board member was responsible for sending him to this hellhole without his permission. God knows, Nermia would hardly survive without him.

"I see you have Ms. Ying for your homeroom teacher," Talleyrand smiled and continued chitchatting, "she's probably the toughest one here! She'll make a man out of anyone."

"Okay gramps," Ranma said impatiently, "you didn't call me here to talk about my day, what do you want?" He knew he sounded rude – good that'll show those Furinkan bastards they shouldn't have expelled him.

"You're right," the Principle acquiesced, "there's a matter of paying for your tuition and board."

If there was anything that could've punctured Ranma bubble and bring him crashing down to the helpless teenaged boy he really was, it was what Talleyrand just said. Ranma shuffled nervously, "Wait, you mean Pop hasn't paid you guys yet!" That bastard! What kind of a father abandons his son in a foreign school in a foreign country without a cent of money or a word of linguistic ability?

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Saotome," Talleyrand shrugged, "We expected you to be carrying your tuition fee…I don't suppose you have the required amount?"

"How much _is_ the required amount?" Ranma asked nervously. If this school was really as Spiced has described – the finest in the word, makers of men, teachers of heroes, etc. – it would no doubt cost a fortune.

Ranma was right. "You were registered for one year with boarding, so that would be thirty thousand US dollars." Talleyrand said with a smirk, he was obviously enjoying verbally slapped Ranma around; Ranma had been impudent seconds earlier, after all.

The amount didn't register into Ranma's mind, as Ranma had no real idea how much an US dollar was, gulping, he asked, "So…How much is that in Japanese yen?"

"That's approximately," Talleyrand thought for a brief second, "Three million four hundred thirty three thousand two hundred yen (3,433,200)."

Ranma eyes grew big, his vision grew fuzzy, and he fell over, "Oh my god!" That bastard of a father of his! All the money they've ever had wouldn't be enough to cover some three million yen! Just what the hell is he thinking tagging his own son is such debt! _Just what the hell does he expect me to do!_

"It's quite expensive, yes," Talleyrand continued to passively sit at his desk, "but it is worth it if you aren't eliminated and managed to complete even a year of our program. But if you managed to complete all eight or nine (I forget exactly how long) years, you'll find money, power, success, whatever, rolling into your hands with ease. This school truly makes a man out of anyone."

Ranma didn't hear any of what the principle just said, instead, his thoughts screamed three million four hundred thirty three thousand two hundred yen over and over again. _Just how the hell am I…_Ranma's thoughts suddenly brightened as the obvious hit him, _duh! This will help me more than hurt!_ "Wait a minute," Ranma rose and sat back onto his chair, "If I can't pay the tuition, then there's no way you can keep me here! So I'll just have to go back to my old high school and town right?" _Yeah, that's it!_ Ranma was dancing in joy in his mind now, there is a god! _There'll be no reason for them to keep me here, and I wouldn't even need to sneak out! Ha, stupid Pop, this'll show him._

But it wouldn't show him, because at that moment Talleyrand shook his head, "You've already been registered young man, and that money is nonrefundable. The decision to actually attend class or not is up to you, but you will have to pay the tuition one way or another before your year is over – I advised you do attend the class, though, as you are required to take the semester midterms and finals, and failure normally comes with harsh consequences."

Ranma wasn't going to relent so easily, "So what if I just don't pay or take your stupid tests? You can't make me, there's nothing you can do to me! What! Are you going to kill me?"

"No, we wouldn't get our money that way," Talleyrand said matter-of-factly, "we'll simply put you to use in manual labor or sell you off somewhere if you're lucky. There's a reason why the streets and even sewers of Aulis are so clean you know."

"Pfft," Ranma continued his bravado, "You think you people can take me! I'm the heir of the Saotome School of indiscriminate grappling; I've beaten down even demigods! I'll break free and escape from you people before you old fart can even blink!" Ranma folded his arms across his chest, expecting a look of worry to appear on the old man's face.

Instead, however, the old man chuckled lightly and shook his head merrily, "You feeling that cocky, my boy? Okay, if that's the case, how about this, if you managed to get out of my office in the next thirty minutes, I'll let you go for free – heck, I'll even pay for your plane ride home!" Talleyrand's gnarled hand gestured toward a clock that hung on the wall.

"A plane! I've never been on one before!" Ranma said confidently, "Can't wait to see just what the hype is about."

"But," Talleyrand shook his old finger warningly, "if you lose, you'll promise me on your honor as a man – and I know you Japanese take that very seriously – that you'll stay in school and pay your tuition. How about it, Mr. Saotome, are you man enough to accept my terms?"

"You got it gramps!"

"Well, it is 8:30 right now, you have until nine. What are you waiting for go!" Talleyrand gestured impatiently at the door.

Ranma got up and headed for the door, expecting at any second that Talleyrand would somehow spring up and stop him. But instead, the old man just sat in unmoving patience; he even put his legs atop his desk. _This is going to be easy_, Ranma thought smugly, _I'll be on my plane trip soon, and this idiot will be crying over losing some three million yen_. Ranma's hand hovered over the doorknob. He looked back at the Principle.

Still he sat there, he wasn't even watching Ranma now, instead, he had out a thick book (Biography of Henry Kissinger) and was clearly engrossed in the tale. _What the hell…?_ Ranma thought perplexedly, _why isn't he even checking on me! _But Talleyrand simply continued reading.

Talleyrand flipped the page; Ranma's jumped at the sound.

Turning back to the door (Ranma's hand was still hovering above the knob); Ranma stared at the metallic silver doorknob. It seemed ordinary enough, yet there was no way Talleyrand wouldn't have prepared something for him, there was just no way he'd have it be this easy for Ranma to go free – that would be virtually just giving away a few million yen. _No, this bastard obvious rigged the door or something_, Ranma thought as he remembered the time when he pulled on an alligator's collar and ended up being electrocuted into oblivion and almost forced into taking a naked bath with Kuno. Ranma's hand clapped back to his side and he turned away from the door.

"Try the window," Talleyrand, without looking up, gestured toward a small window next to his desk.

Ranma glanced at it. The window certainly seemed large enough – though barely – to fit him through (though he'd probably fit through perfectly as a girl). It was only on the first story too, so there wouldn't be any worry of an extended drop – not that heights had ever scared Ranma, aerial combat was, after all, his specialty. Ranma almost walked over to the window when the thought hit him, _wait a minute, just why the hell would he tell me to use the window! I didn't even think of it until he mentioned it…_Ranma hesitated and looked back toward the door, _argh! That bastard rigged both exits! No wonder he was so cocky about the whole business! The bastard tricked me!_

Talleyrand flipped another page. Ranma glared at him in annoyance for distracting his thoughts.

_Wait a minute!_ An idea hit Ranma, _he rigged the door and window, but there's no way he could've rigged the walls! I'll just break out like what Shampoo always used to do!_ Ranma looked over to the clock that hung on the wall, 8:53. _No way! Son of a…I've been hesitating too long, Seven minutes to break down a wall, no problem._

Walking over, Ranma's hands rapped lightly against the wallpaper, his ears straining to detect the sounds, _sounds like wood, _he expertly thought to himself as he continued tapping down the wall, _here we go, this place sounds a bit more hollow_.

Taking a step back, Ranma prepared to ram into his selected place on the wall and probably break a hole through it. He took a look back at Talleyrand, just to confirm.

Talleyrand was no longer reading, instead, he was looking at Ranma with undisguised amusement. _He doesn't know what I have planned, _Ranma realized, _I'll show this old fart._

Charging forward, Ranma hurled himself against the wall with a loud crash, and before a large stone wall-hung plaque fell down from its place among the wall and removed Ranma from his place among the conscious, Ranma realized his two mistakes. One, he probably should've used his foot instead of his shoulder to ram the wall, and two, he probably should've checked for wall-bound objects before hand.

When Ranma came back to consciousness the clock was already at 9:05. Talleyrand was looking over him, a slight smirk on his face, "Welcome to the Spartan Academy of the Modern Day Warrior, Ranma Saotome. I suppose you'll need to get a job soon to pay for your lessons. But this one I give to you for free, the Chinese call it the _KonChengJi_ – empty city ploy. Learn it well, Saotome! And work on your English too; you can't expect everyone here to know Japanese."

Author's Note: Okay, so Ranma's officially in the school now, so there'll be no more of Ranma thinking, "I don't care, I won't go here anymore" which altogether translates to more fun. So now that the major plot is introduced (paying for the education, going back home, etc.), next chapter will herald all the small things that any given all-boys' school should have. Hopefully, this chapter will be the last of what I refer to as the "obligatory introduction chapters of dullness."

On another note, I suppose I should address this issue earlier, but now is better than never (I didn't think I needed to address this issue at all): every plot hole will be dealt with later in the story, as the whole idea behind a plot is that not everything is known right away, and that the reader slowly figures out certain things along with the characters as so the reader can develop a sort of kinship with the characters. Therefore, most of the reader-imposed grievances will be addressed, except, of course, for the purely pointless and wholly whimsical problems that certain readers pose (the problem with the choice of the name Serry Jeinfeld being the foremost in pointlessness). But I will concede one mistake – I honestly thought Richard Feynman was a British physicist, I suppose I was wrong – fortunately, he could be from the North Pole for all the effect it will have on his part in the tale.


	5. Kung Fu Hustle

Chapter Five: Kung Fu Hustle

"You bastard!" Ranma snarled nastily, flipping up, Ranma faced the sneaky old Talleyrand in his standard fighting stance, ready to kick some ass, "You tricked me!"

Talleyrand shrug carelessly, totally unafraid of Ranma, "You deceived yourself; I did nothing but issue a challenge – which you lost. Now, be a good boy and keep your word and go back to class." He waved his hand dismissively.

"You're not gonna keep me here against my will!" Ranma said dangerously – he wasn't one to give up to defeat so soon, "I'm getting out of this school rather you like it or not."

"Well, according to my judgment, you really should consider attending class, there's still plenty for you to learn," Talleyrand said smoothly, "Like English for one."

"Shut it you ass," Ranma growled and turned his back on Talleyrand. Oh how he wanted to turn around and pound down that old freak, but he kept his pride and his nerves cooled, they're not going to stop him from returning home. "I'm going home rather you like it or not!"

"You'd forsake your own honor and forever abase yourself like this to go home?" Talleyrand said provokingly.

Ranma, swallowing his saliva and pride at the same time, didn't answer, instead, he walked back to the door and opened it. Turning back – Talleyrand was still looking at him coolly – Ranma snarled, "See you in hell old man." And turned to leave.

"Okay Mr. Saotome," Talleyrand slowly walked back to his desk and sat back down into his seat, "then go, run back to Japan with, as the Chinese say, your tale between your legs –"

"Why you…" Ranma turned and growled testily, but Talleyrand shook a finger warningly – he wasn't finished yet.

"If even _you_, yourself, don't believe you're man enough to complete even one year of training as a Spartan, then there'll be no point for me to keep you here. We wouldn't want a coward like you to damage our reputation," Talleyrand spat acidly, he motioned to shoo Ranma out the door, "crawl back to whatever sewer spewed you out and go lie down with the rats and roaches – they're more fit for your personality than our students."

Talleyrand would've gotten to Ranma's pride and firmly ensured that Ranma will endure the entire year with only the first sentence, but with the addition of the second one, a volcano exploded inside Ranma. _How dare this old bastard! _Liquid fire was literarily blazing in Ranma's blood (ouch!), and a haze of dark red mist covered his vision. Feeling his fists clench, Ranma knew it was time to duel this old bastard and beat him to a pulp, "Go die you old bastard!" With a powerful kick, Ranma launched off the ground barreling straight for the sniveling jackass that insulted him, his extended foot ready to put a dent in the man's face if not remove it entirely.

But, before Ranma's foot could feel the sweet squash of face against foot, Talleyrand's old gnarled hands shot up with amazing alacrity. Expecting such a counter, Ranma instinctively kicked out his other leg and aimed it directly at the pressure point weak spot underneath the neck. At the last millisecond before impact, Talleyrand snapped his fingers on both hands and immediately:

_Boom_!

An incredibly loud explosion blasted from his hands and Ranma flew back and clanked headfirst into the wall he had rammed against earlier denting it and knocking himself out again. His last sight before he lost consciousness being Talleyrand, still sitting at his desk, looking at him with worry – he was afraid the hard hit to the head would make the boy retarded. As if the gods were adding insult to injury, another large stone plaque (this one commending Talleyrand for getting a perfect game in bowling) smashed down on the unconscious boy. Talleyrand grimaced for him.

Space Here

"Ugh…" Slowly, Ranma's eyes opened, and immediately, a groggily headache sprung out of from under the bed and promptly began to assault Ranma with a spiked club, "oww."

"Hey, you're awake." Ranma turned (with a burst of pain) to see Spice's face hanging above his. Spice's long silky hair tickled at Ranma's cheeks. "Where am I?" Ranma asked, "What happened?" Another burst of pain pounded his head and then he remembered, he had been telling the principle that he wanted to leave…then that old bastard said those things and he jumped to fight him…and then, Talleyrand somehow snapped his fingers and Ranma went flying back into a wall. And now Ranma lay on a comfy soft bed with Spice looking cooingly at him.

The room Ranma was in was well lit both by both the florescent lights and by the many windows that sunshine flowed in from. The room was quite large, and consequently fitted some dozens of a somewhat small white hospital bed – one of which contained Ranma (the rest were empty). There was also a strong smell of medicine – traditional and western – that hung in the air.

"You're in the school infirmary – we have one because of the seriously tough training sessions we do," Spice gestured toward a sign that read, "INFIRMARY" which hung next to the door. "Ms. Ying asked me to check up on you, plus I was sorta worried too! No freshman (it _is_ your first year here, after all) has ever attacked the principle!" He said incredulously.

Ranma said nothing. That stupid Talleyrand had somehow knocked him out in a few seconds without even so much as laying a hand on him – all he did was snap his fingers…What kind of hellish technique was that!

"What's wrong?" Spice asked sincerely, "Does you head still hurt? Old man Talleyrand says you dented a wall with your head then a large stone plaque hit it – I can't believe you're still alive!" He smiled, "Here, I'm taking acupuncture as one of my elective classes, so let me just tap a few of your pressure points to make the pain go away." Spice's dexterous and supple hands did what he offered, and immediately, Ranma felt immensely better.

"Thanks," he muttered quietly.

"No problem," Spice kept talking, "You know, it probably wasn't such a great idea challenging principle Talleyrand, Ranma. He's principle here for a reason you know, not even the upperclassmen, hell, even the teachers, dare challenge Talleyrand….But that's mostly because they realize he's right most of the time. They say, when he was younger, he took part in a revolution in a European country that overthrew an entire dynasty of kings! He's gotta be strong…and smart too!"

"Spice," Ranma began, "Talleyrand used this strange technique on me –" Ranma snapped his fingers to demonstrate – nothing happened, "he just snapped his fingers and it blew me back…do you know what that was?" Maybe he would, and then, Ranma can learn it himself or figure out a way to counter it. Then, he'll show that old bastard who should crawl back into the sewers…

"He snapped his fingers?" Spice gasped, "That's not even one of his normal moves! That old French chump probably stole it from Tategami (Japanese for lion)!"

_Tategami! Is that a person?_ Ranma mused, but drop the new thought to pursue the older one, "Yeah, but what is it?"

"I'm not too sure myself, but Tategami says it's his twist on the breaking point technique, he says he can find even the air's breaking point to cause that massive boom." Spice said with some awe, "that Tategami is quite the fighter! Handsome too!" He said with a giggle (Ranma's arched his eyebrows).

"Breaking point technique!" Ranma gasped. Cologne (Shampoo's elderly grandmother) had taught Ranma's rival Ryoga the breaking point technique what seemed like an eternity ago in an attempt for Ryoga to defeat Ranma and steal away Akane. The technique was based upon the tenant that everything upon the word had a breaking point – a certain spot, which if pressed, would cause an entire systematic break down of the structure of the targeted object via a large explosion. Ranma had only managed to beat Ryoga because of his superior speed and dodging ability – which had made Ryoga miss every breaking point attack. But, if the breaking point has now gained an area-of-effect cleave…Ranma shuddered at the thought. Then, an idea hit him, "Hey! Isn't the breaking point technique only supposed to work on rocks?"

"It is?" Spice cocked an eyebrow, "I don't know, it sure seems like it works on the air too! Maybe you can go talk to Tategami about it later."

"Wait a minute; shouldn't that breaking point be extremely dangerous? I mean, the boom does hit the creator too, doesn't it?" _Yeah,_ Ranma thought, if Talleyrand _did_ break the air into an explosion, then it should've hurt him too! But as far as Ranma could remember, Talleyrand just sat calmly at his desk totally unaffected by the huge boom that had devastated Ranma and his office. _That old bastard's tougher than he looks!_

"Yeah, I've always wondered how Tategami does it without getting hurt, I tried to do his breaking point thing, but I couldn't even do it on a rock much less the air, so I don't know," Spice shrugged and rolled his eyes, "He says it's his magical fingers, but I bet it's just because he's a tough guy."

"Just who is this Tategami?" Ranma asked, whoever this guy is, he _must_ be quite a fighter to have Spice so taken with him, not to mention himself so untaken by the force of the air breaking point.

"Tategami is the kung fu club president and the martial arts varsity team captain," Spice said with undisguised admiration, "he has decent marks in class as well, and most of the teachers like him. You'll have to talk to him if you want to join the martial arts team."

"Martial arts team ehh?" Ranma mused over the thought; he'd probably dominate everyone in the whole school…_That ought to show that jackass Talleyrand!_ Ranma thought savagely, _I'll wipe out his entire martial arts team, and then we'll see who's a man_. "Say, Spice, lead me to this Tategami person."

Space Here

Ranma had expected Tategami to be some rough and burly man – like Caramon – but instead, the man that stood in front of Ranma fell quite short of Ranma's expectations. He was by no means some fat slob nor was he a scrawny holocaust survivor, definitely not, he was fit, strong, Ranma could tell by the way his dark green shirt stretched about his shoulders that he had a sculpted body. He was taller than Spice, and by the transitive property, taller than Ranma as well – he seemed a bit bigger too. But there was something about that large clump of black hair between his eyebrows and the rugged look in his eyes that reminded Ranma of Ryoga. But where Ryoga was somber and serious (not to mention ridiculously emotional) – which made Ryoga seem wretched and despairing, there was an aura of both warmth yet mystery about this Tategami that made his face glow with a secretive and seductive handsomeness that seemed to tingle even at Ranma's hidden feminine form. If this Tategami had been at a normal school, he probably would've been forced into at least one shotgun wedding by an enraged father (and an admiring mother) by this point – probably why he was sent to an all boys' school instead.

"Tategami," Spice's voice was quieter, almost shy, than usual as he clapped a hand on Ranma's shoulders and presented him to Tategami, it was as if he was hiding behind Ranma, "This is the new student Ranma Saotome."

"Saotome…You're the boy that challenged the principle and lost early today, no?" Tategami held out a hand, and Ranma shook it. His grip was strong and firm, his hands warm.

"Yeah…" Ranma said quietly, not meeting Tategami's eyes (for the dramatic pose), that bastard Talleyrand, beating him down and then telling the whole school about it to humiliate him. Picking up the pieces of his pride, Ranma mustered out bravado, "I'll take him down! The next time we fight, that old man won't win again!"

Spice looked at Ranma incredulously, but Tategami smiled, "I like a man with courage and some determination. What can I do for you Ranma?"

"Let me join the school varsity martial arts team," Ranma said flatly.

"Alright Saotome, but you'll have to go through the tryouts like everyone else," Tategami smiled warmly at Ranma and Spice and clapped his hand onto Ranma's shoulder, which also meant they brushed against Spice's fingers.

Immediately at the touch and the look on Tategami's face, Spice quickly drew his hand off Ranma's shoulder and hid it behind him – a gesture that Ranma had never see in a guy, a quick blush came to Spice's face and he lowered his head slightly biting his lip.

Ranma eyed Spice with eyebrows arched high, _What the hell?_ But more pressing matters were at hand (Ranma made a mental note to find out just what's the deal with Spice later), and Ranma ignored the flushing boy nearby, "What's the tryout? Do I have to knock down some barrels under a time limit? Or break a layer of bricks? Or something like that?"

Tategami, not noticing Spice, nodded, "Yes, something like that, you'll have to fight one of us six varsity team members. Just who you will fight is picked randomly out of a hat, but if you should win, you'll instantly be accepted onto the varsity team. If not, we'll review your fight and decide where to place you on the team – if anywhere at all."

"No problem," Ranma, sizing up Tategami, boasted confidently. Spice may be impressed with this macho muscle brain, but there's just no way he could be as speedy as Ranma, and if Ranma can beat the strength monster Ryoga, this guy should be no problem. Ranma scoffed, _yeah, I can definitely take this guy…after I win, they'll accept me on the team, and maybe they'll make me team captain._ self-assuredly, Ranma said, "What time do you want to test me?"

"Well, all the academic classes end at three, so come at three fifteen to the field, a few other new students are trying out too, so you'll need to be patient depending upon when you're picked to go." Tategami said, "Eat a good lunch and rest up kid, but try not sleep in class though!"

Space Here (space everywhere nowadays)

The Spartan class system worked quite efficiently – at least according to the creator, Principle Talleyrand. According to his plan, every student would be required to take eight classes, though what the actual classes are chosen by the student or parent (except for a homeroom and a physical education class). Following in the American progressive education foundation developed by American social scientist John Dewey some decades ago, actual class hours were relatively short – Starting from seven in the morning to three in the afternoon. Naturally, the eight different classes are divided into four per day (with homeroom and P.E. being everyday, although P.E. and a sport which can take its place is not counted as an academic class). For the most part, the students themselves must enforce their own education, the one that do, succeed, and the ones that don't fail and are then eliminated from competition. The system works quite well.

Unfortunately, the morning was still young, and, just like in real life, academic classes tend to drudge on with painful crawling slowness when one has something more pressing and fun after them. Homeroom with Ms. Ying and the break thereafter was already over by the time Ranma went back to class – Mathematics this time. Despite the intrinsic math and science abilities flowing in all Asian blood, Ranma proved to be – at best – hopelessly lost to the point the teacher – a highly Christian man – lost faith in the Lord.

Following that, English and Chinese class both proved to be more interesting, Ranma, having heard and learned (albeit not much) of both languages in Nerima, found the classes actually didactic. To his surprise, Ranma found himself sitting amongst people he actually knew in Chinese class (except Spice whose Chinese was notoriously advanced).

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the bell finally rung and Ranma literarily leapt out the window in impatience and raced to the field where Tategami had designated their meeting place. The field Tategami chose for their sparring was originally a baseball field – Ranma had recognized the brown diamond in a corner of the field. But, because no one outside of Japan actually cared for baseball (in Japan it has became a national orgasmic experience), the field remained unused – almost to the point Talleyrand considered just removing the grass and paving the area to become a parking lot.

But, then, Tategami had entered the scene and convinced Talleyrand to leave the field as it is – overgrown with grass and strange plants and walled off by rusted fences – to the martial arts team for sparring and training purposes. Talleyrand, not wanting to pay for a new parking lot anyways, happily agreed and officially designated the field for martial arts use…

Only, at this moment, there weren't too many martial artists on the field – only Ranma. The high afternoon soon beat down on his back, and the long shafts of grass tickled at his legs through his pants, somewhere, Ranma thought he saw a small worm slither between the blades of grass and mud. Scanning the surroundings, _When's that Tategami going to show up?_ _Huh? Is that him?_

Someone appeared from behind a wall and was walking toward Ranma, but as the person drew closer, Ranma saw it wasn't the captain – probably someone for another sport. The person drew closer to Ranma recognized him to be the silver-haired boy he had met on the boat ride here…_What was his name?_

"Dante?" Ranma asked with uncertainty.

Dante nodded, "Ranma Saotome is it?"

Ranma nodded back, "What are you doing here? Are you trying out for the martial arts team too?" Tategami _did_ mention there were other folk who wanted to try out.

Dante smiled, "Yep, I hope for their sake they've got something worth my time."

Ranma eyed Dante; this boy was like to him in so many ways (not to mention the parallelism between Dante and the other red-wearing-creation-of-Rumiko Takahashi!). Aside from the obvious physical appearance – such the fact that both of them wore red, the cockiness of their personalities, the overconfidence of their bravados, everything about the two seemed similar…_If it weren't for that he had silver-haired and looks totally non-Japanese, he could probably be my twin!_ Ranma mused over the thought, _But I'm obviously the stronger one_. Once again, Ranma sized up Dante, sure he was taller than Ranma, but Ranma was fairly confident he had speed and evasion over this macho no-brainer kid. Ranma said, "Feeling quite confident aren't we…"

"How tough can these guys be?" Dante said carelessly.

"My words exactly."

At that moment, Spice ran in, his silky long black hair trailing in the wind, and following him were four other guys dragging a fifth one who seemed convinced he was walking the right direction (which was totally opposite of the right way). Stopping before Dante and Ranma, Spice smiled and quickly apologized, "Sorry we're late, we were looking for Tategami, he has a horrible sense of direction – he says it runs in his family. He gets lost here even though he's been at this school for two years already! He's coming," Spice pointed behind the group of four guys, and indeed, Tategami was being dragged along.

"Wait Spice, what do you mean 'we?' Are you on the varsity martial arts team too?" Ranma asked, astounded – how did it slip by him that Spice may have been a martial artist too! After all, Herb was quite the fighter and he wouldn't be surprised if even some of Herb's skill leaked down to his brother.

"Well yeah," Spice said as it should've been obvious, then smiling lightheartedly his long black locks bouncing, "I'm pretty good too!"

Ranma laughed to himself, if even this Spice – who Ranma was sure he could beat up with a hand tied behind his back – could make it on the Varsity team, then a fighter like Ranma…well, nothing short of total domination could result from it all!

"Anyway," Spice waited for the entire group to gather before going over the basics, "Since there's only the two of you, we'll just pick numbers. You two," he pointed to Ranma and Dante, "will pick a number between one and a hundred, and we'll guess at it, whoever is closest to the two numbers you two picked will fight the person with that number. Since the both of you want to make it to varsity, we'll use official rules – the combatants will have three minutes to knock the other person out of the ring or out of consciousness. Whoever gets knocked out of consciousness or the ring (in this case the field) first loses. If the three minutes is up and both fighters are still conscious and in the ring, we go into sudden death where the first person to land a blow wins. Are we okay with this?"

Everyone nodded.

"Okay you two pick your numbers but don't tell us."

Dante picked the number 1, and was paired up to fight against Spice (who picked 7). Ranma, who chose 100, was paired up to fight against a rather tall and slim upperclassman named Kel. Judging by the tanned (though not dark) skin of this slim man – he almost had a girl's figure except for the bust and hips – Ranma couldn't possibly guess at how he managed to make it onto the varsity martial arts team. There didn't seem to be too much life in the man, his short black hair drooped about his face and his lips and cheeks were ashen – it seemed at any moment, Ranma could just tap him and he'd tip over and fall. Only his eyes held a spark of life, and a lot of life it held as looking into it, Ranma could feel the hot blaze of this man's spirit.

Arbitrarily, Ranma's fight was decided to be before Dante's. And so Ranma found himself standing in the sun-baked field dedicated to martial arts, facing a seemingly nonchalant and cool Kel.

"Okay," Spice, having grabbed a nearby microphone and some large speakers, announced, "You guys can start once the minute hand gets to the forty-five; remember, three minutes for knock out, and after that, sudden death," He pointed toward a large digital clock read-out on an nearby scoreboard, then, fluently and almost naturally, Spice translated (and probably summarized) all that he had just said in Japanese into another language Ranma didn't recognize, "Kel, три протокол, нормальный закон."

Kel nodded.

The clock struck 3:45 and the fight begun.

Ranma stood his ground, stupid as he may be in other things, Ranma was – if he may say so himself – a martial arts master, and he wasn't going to just jump in without first understanding his opponent. Ranma waited, Kel just looked at him with the same fiery eyes, unmoving, his hands tucked away coolly in his pocket.

Spice, pulling a Mr. Tendo, was doing the announcing, "And the two combatants stand still as rocks, studying each other for a weakness! Just who will attack first! Will it be the upperclassman Kel, or the lowly new challenger Ranma Saotome?" He paused for dramatic effect, "Ho! Looks like Kel's taking the initiative!"

Kel's hands moved to his chest in a strange pose, his fingers were curled over the zipper of his jacket, seemingly ready to attack. _What is this stance?_ Ranma thought to himself, _What does he have planned!_

"Oh! What's this! Kel's just taking off his jacket!" Spice cried out with far too much excitement than what was really happening, "And his shirt! Oh my god! There goes his pants too!"

Kel, scrawny but tanned, stood wearing only a pair of shorts (boxers). He was truly a skinny boy! He had muscles yes, but then again, he had so little fat, the muscles couldn't help but show up.

"What the hell are you doing!" Ranma called out incredulously, "Put on some clothe you bag of bones!"

Kel ignored him, instead he raised a hand high into the air and closed his eyes.

"Oh no!" Spice's enthusiastic voice sounded, "Looks like Kel's not going easy on little Saotome! This is going to hurt!"

Taking his hint, Ranma darted toward Kel at break neck speed. Whatever this skinny boy was channeling, Ranma had no intention of seeing, and instead, Ranma intended to pound his fist or his feet into this Kel's face until he totally kneeled over. Leaping into the air, Ranma flew toward Kel with his shoe ready to make friends with Kel's forehead.

But, Kel's eyes suddenly flared open, and his raised hand flew down as if throwing something.

Immediately, Ranma felt the temperature around him drop. It was as if the afternoon sun – high as it was in the sky – no longer funneled in heat. The cold grew unbearable and the joints in his arms and legs went stiff with frost, his felt his blood slow down sluggishly, and his head scream in a brain freeze. Even his eyes hurt as little jagged ice crystals jammed at his eyeball, forcing him to squeeze shut his eyes. "Ahh!" Ranma wanted to scream in pain, but his frozen mouth wouldn't open. Around him, the water in the air condensed and crystallized straight into bits and pieces of ice and snow.

"Wow, a frost nova so early!" Spice announced, "Kel must want to end this fast!"

Fortunately, the sudden temperature drop abruptly stopped, and slowly the sun was turned back on and its warmth seeped into his blood again, unfreezing the still airborne Ranma as he plummeted down toward Kel within literally inches of crashing into the skinny boy. _At least he gets hit too…_ Ranma thought, _but what the hell kind of a strange move was that!_

Ranma was wrong. Gracefully, Kel stepped out of the way as Ranma plummeted to the ground, sending a jarring pain through his legs and up his body. His joints and muscles still cold and stiff – though slowly warming – Ranma couldn't put up his arms in time to deflected a kick from Kel, consequently, the man's foot struck hard against Ranma's chest, sending Ranma flying backwards.

"Oof!"

"Ouch!" Spice called as Ranma skidded against the grass, in good humor he called, "talk about getting the cold shoulder!" (Groan) "There's just no way Ranma could win if he tanks all of Kel's attacks! Though the frost nova has a cool-down (get it, cool down!) period, it is powerful!" He called out, strongly hinting at the obvious.

"Ugh…" Ranma picked himself up painfully, bits and pieces of ice and frost still laced his clothe and nestled in his hair. Standing up, Ranma's legs – though thawing – were still stiff, and his entire body ached all over.

Ahead of him, Kel, who was sweating profusely, had his hand raised to the sky again, and his eyes closed in channeling another blast of frost. _Ack! He'll kill me if he hits me with another blast of that cold attack_, Ranma thought desperately, _What do I do? What do I do!_ _How can I win this one?_ _Fast break?_ No, Ranma couldn't take a fast break, he wasn't allowed to step outside the field – large as it was, it wasn't large enough or covered with enough protective shelters for a fast break. Eyeing the scoreboard, Ranma saw he only had a minute to finish this Kel before the match went to sudden death, _Gotta think fast!_

But whatever Ranma was thinking of, wouldn't come fast enough – Kel's hand once again flew down, and immediately, Ranma felt the air around him beginning to chill rapidly. Then, it hit him, _Umisen-Ken!_ Swiftly, Ranma posed his hands and melted into the wind.

Ranma's father had devised the Umisen-Ken and the Yamasen-Ken as the two ultimate skills to sustain life (although in reality they were just skills used in burglary). Ranma had first mastered and used it to defeat a man named Kumon Ryu who masqueraded as Ranma and infiltrated his home to get to his mother. Ranma had defeated his enemy then by melting into the wind and sneaking about him, so maybe it'll work again – after all, Kel hopefully can't hit him if he can't see him, not to mention he'll be using both Yamasen-Ken and the Umisen-Ken this time around.

The ploy worked. To the outside world, it would've seemed that Ranma had suddenly vanished from where he stood leaving behind a ring of white frost – Kel's frost nova. Immediately, the nonchalant expression on Kel's face vanished, in its place, an expression of worry. Sweat poured down Kel's brow and stung his eyes, nervously, he wiped them off – just what did this Ranma have planned?

"What's this!" Spice's amazed voice spoke over the speakers, "Ranma has disappeared! And it looks like Kel's frost nova has missed! Looks like Ranma have the upper hand now!"

The seconds ticked by ominously, each one drumming thunderously across the field. The crowd (the martial arts team, and Dante) hung in suspended tension, almost as if electricity crackled in the air.

Suddenly, a loud and commanding voice called out behind Kel, "Freeze asshole!" Kel spun around and was immediately greeted by, "Welcome mat double kick!" Ranma, who had suddenly appeared behind him, pounced up and rammed both his legs straight against Kel's chest, sending the Russian boy flying backwards.

"Oh good lord!" Spice cried, "What a powerful kick that was! Kel may lose this one if Ranma pulls whatever he did again!"

Ranma, taking the hint, took that same sneaky pose and suddenly vanished again.

Clutching his chest in pain, Kel shoved himself off the grass and stood on his feet again. His frost attacks won't be able to hit Ranma if he can't see him, and he himself won't last another of those welcome mat double kicks.

Not to mention it was miserably hot right now. Kel's frost novas, a chi attack he had learned years ago from a great chi master named Laozi who had found the orphan boy and raised him in a monastery in China, was based upon manipulating the chi inside the human body and the ether that permeated the universe. Through that technique, Kel is able to create extreme cold at certain areas, but not without cost to him – the heat taken from designated area flows into his body. Every time Kel fights, the extreme heat he takes from the extreme cold he inflicts tanned his skin (to a healthy and sexy color) and burned away most of the fat in his body – it would be his curse to be thin forever (Kel doesn't know how good he has it, people in America will literarily sacrifice their firstborn to have his abilities).

But, as powerful as his attacks are, they are totally worthless if Kel can't pinpoint his enemy. And so he stood there, clutching at his chest – a total sitting duck for Ranma to pick off…

Except, Kel, having often found himself in troubling situations – a side effect of having no parents to care and watch over him – had plenty of tricks left up his sleeve. Letting out a fierce battle cry, Kel took a deep breath and siphoned from around him all the kinetic heat energy, creating random rings of frost while building up heat within him to impossible levels.

"Looks like three minutes is up, it's sudden death now!" Spice called out cheerfully, "Oh my god!" Spice announced, "Kel's channeling the freezing shield! There's no way Ranma – wherever he is – can dodge all those random bursts of frost novas!"

But Spice was wrong. Random and fast as the frost novas may be, Ranma, in the Umisen-ken wind walk, was faster still, and he danced about the fast bursts of frost, dodging and evading every burst while working closer and closer to where Kel stood. At last, Kel's head drooped and his body, covered with sweat, shook slightly, the heat that permeated around him refracted even the light, the frost novas slowed down. Taking his chance, Ranma charged and appeared right behind Kel.

"An opening!" Ranma yelled, "Welcome Gate Iron Fist!" But Ranma never got the chance to use that attack.

At the moment the words flew out of Ranma's mouth, Kel, instead of turning around, dropped down to his knees, his fists slamming hard against the ground. The grass and mud on the ground, loosened by the creation of ice crystals caused by Kel's frost novas, jumped up into the air surrounding Kel and consequently around Ranma. "Fire pillar!" Immediately, the pieces of grass and mud burst into flame as the heat in Kel's body combusted every bit of fuel. The sudden release of heat to the air boomed outward in a fury of wind and fire, sending Ranma flying back before his iron fist could touch Kel.

The attack, more bark than bite, wasn't particularly strong, and Ranma regained his composure in midair and landed on his feet, ready to sprain to attack again…But it was too late, the deed was done, the bucket was kicked, the farm was bought, the geese have gone south for the winter.

"Ohh!" Spice cried out, "Looks like Kel managed to land the first attack during sudden death! Sorry Ranma, but you LOSE!"

The word hit with more force than a hundred frost novas and fire pillars…_but you LOSE! _Echoed back and forth in Ranma's mind as he fell to his knees. _I can't lose…_

Apparently he could, as Kel had already picked up the pieces of his discarded clothing and excused himself to take a shower while Dante and Spice, who had handed the microphone and the announcement job to another team member named Taliesin, stepped into the field. Eventually, Tategami dragged Ranma off

Ranma slumped down onto a nearby bench. _Damn this school!_ He thought to himself, he had been here for less than a week, and he had already lost two fights – Ranma was sure he could've beaten Kel if he had more time, but the loss to Talleyrand was totally unacceptable. _Am I getting slow! Why am I suddenly so weak now!_ Obnoxiously, the tiny weakness moxibustion pressure point on his back from the time Happosai had made him the weakest man to take advantage of her body itched up, _No, Happosai isn't anywhere here…Argh!_

Tategami sat down next to Ranma, "Not use to losing Ranma?"

"What're you teasing me for?" Ranma snarled nastily, "I could've beaten him if it weren't for the sudden death thing."

Tategami smiled, ignoring Ranma's nastiness, "Don't tell me you're going to sulk! After all, victory doesn't make a man – defeat does."

"Huh?" Ranma was in no mood to listen to impromptu Disney crap, "Then why don't you lose some battles!"

Still smiling, Tategami said pleasantly, "I've lost my share of battles too and so did Kel – he use to get beat down everyday when he lived as an orphan in that monastery in China! But keep in mind, Ranma, anyone can deal with victory, anyone can deal with occasions when everyone approves of him and congratulates him. But it takes a man to deal with defeat, to accept it and move on."

Ranma snarled still, "I'm not moving on until I beat that damn Kel! And that ass Talleyrand!"

Tategami sighed, "Quite stubborn you are! Well, you can try again another time; just enjoy watching Dante's fight with Spice for now. Spice is from the Musk dynasty you know, he's a master in energy chi (whereas Kel is a master in elemental chi), I wonder how this Dante will fight him."

_That's right!_ Tategami succeeded in changing Ranma's brooding thoughts to something more productive – fighting. _Just how will they fight?_

Over the speakers, Taliesin, in a musical voice, asked Ranma's questions in a rather flamboyant language, "What wonders and magicks lie in Dante's sleeve, what spells of splendor and awe does this silver haired devil weave?"

"Taliesin's one of our strangest fighters," Tategami whispered into Ranma's ear, "he came to this school from England about the same time I did, but he knows at least a dozen more languages than me. He's on a scholarship for music and art I think, he doesn't look much like a warrior (not much muscle, not much speed), but he's one hell of a fighter!" Ranma wanted to ask more about this Taliesin, but Tategami continued to introduce the last of the martial arts varsity team to Ranma, "And over there, that's Varimathras (we call him Varnie), I have no idea where he's from, but he's a monster in the field (plus his name sounds quite evil). He's a bit of a pervert too, so if you're a girl, watch out!"

Ranma was startled, _Does Tategami know about my secret!_ But taking a second look at the man's smiling face, Ranma calmed down a bit – just coincidence.

"Ohh, fight's starting."

Author's Notes: Okay, so Ranma is further entrenched in the school. Next chapter will hopefully be more interesting as he (more accurate she) takes his first shower with the rest of the guys. I'll clear this up now in case I never get a chance in the real story – Talleyrand air breaking point didn't hurt him because he position his hands at just the right distance apart from each other as to cause wave-cancellation over the area where he stood (likely story). Another thing, if you're wondering just what's the deal with Spice, that'll be revealed later. Once again, everyone who has been given a name in the story has their origins somewhere else (except for Spice and Tategami), see if you can guess them.


	6. Shes Got Herbal in the Showers

Chapter Six: She has got Herbal in the shower

Ranma had anticipated Spice's arsenal to be full of nothing but chi blasts, he had expected to see energy balls – much like Herb's – to tear through the field and probably into the silver haired boy named Dante. After all, siblings usually share – to some extent – each other's talents; the exception being that tomboy Akane who – Ranma smiled as he mused over the thought – had neither Kasumi's culinary skills or Nabiki's cunning skills. Akane was just some rough and tumble tomboy who always acted – pounded Ranma with mallet – before knowing the freakishness of the given situations.

_Stupid Akane…Wonder what she's doing right now…_Realizing where his thoughts were drifting, Ranma shook his head to clear it away and refocus on the fight at hand.

Ranma supposed it would be a good match, as Dante had – if memory serves correctly – a steeled body virtually impervious to pain. That whole fork incident a day or two ago still brimmed clearly (and uncomfortably) in Ranma's mind – surely, being stabbed _would _hurt, though Ranma himself didn't have any experience in that particular field (he doesn't want any either).

Spice, on the other hand, was nothing but grace – a dancer's grace. Strange as the thought was in Ranma's mind, Ranma could easily see Spice prancing about on stage in girly tights dazzling an (rather queer) audience with the latest rendition of Swan Lake. Hell, even a buff fifth grader seemed able to simply grab the delicate Spice and break him in half, and Dante, being in the tenth or eleventh (or whatever) grade (mathematically double that of a fifth grader – or whatever) could probably break Spice in half – twice.

Secretly though, Ranma hoped that Spice would win, as after all, the boy had been nice to Ranma throughout the day; friendliness and general sociability – both of which Spice was abundantly equipped – always tended to garner other's affections.

_Yes, Spice could maybe win this one, _Ranma mused as he watched the two poised and ready, waiting for the painfully sluggish seconds to worm away before they could lunge and leap into action. _Dante seems ready_, Ranma studied the boy, his face was all aglow with confidence and cockiness, a rare smile of excitement lit his face and in the broad daylight made him seem particularly – in the words of teenage girls, a demographic Ranma refused to be a member – dreamy. _That kid's cocky alright! He's not even taking this seriously, _Ranma thought with amusement.

Spice, on the other hand (and other side of the field), was decidedly more serious. His stance – your typical Ryu pre-haudoken stance – somehow made Spice seem particularly feral yet graceful. Spice's long silky black hair curled about his rather lithe and almost too feminine neck and face, the tiny red scar on his cheek, draped by black hair made Spice seem as a fierce cat (Ranma shuddered at the thought). Around Spice, there was a glow of chi, it radiated out him as the silvery light radiates from a nightly moon, it made him seem dark, mysterious, and yet somehow unearthly beautiful.

The overhanging sun continued to lash out whips of heat at the six people gathered upon the field. The green grass and small white flowers and forget-me-nots (the ones that haven't been ruined by Ranma and Kel's fight earlier) tickled at the fighters' legs and the smell of mud and nature wafted lazily about the atmosphere. Overhead, an airplane glided silently in the high skies.

The clock ticked once more and Taliesin, loud and boisterous, broke the tension in the air with a cry, "It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!" (Ranma was reminded of home) the fight begun.

Dante, taking the imitative, dashed straight for Spice. Dante wasn't particularly fast, but judging by a glow of white power around his fist as it barreled down toward Spice's face, Dante was particularly strong. But Spice, matching Dante's raw bear-like strength with swan-like grace, ducked underneath the punch, and before Dante could blink, Spice shoved hard against Dante's legs and sent the silver haired flipping him right over Spice. Before Dante's head hit the ground, Spice's hands were suddenly pressed softly against the silver-haired boy's chest, and from his elegant and supple fingertips burned a bright coruscation of myriad colors – a chi blast. Dante flew backward, skidding into the ground as he landed.

"Yow!" Ranma gasped in amazement.

"Spice's normal attacks don't do much damage, so he enhances his fists with his chi," Tategami explained, "Dante is probably going through some nine levels of hellish pain."

"As a moth is draw to flame, so too does it feel the burn. Silver-haired Dante may need the devil's luck to win this bout!" Taliesin announced cheerfully but coolly and collectedly.

But Dante didn't have the devil's luck, he only had his strength, and as if totally unfazed, he pushed himself up from the ground and was ready to go again. Aside from a splotch of mud dirtying his shirt (and dignity), Dante was totally undamaged. He wiped a bit of mud and grass and a worm off his face, that boastful smile still on his lips, "I thought we weren't going to pull our punches."

Ranma stared in amazement, _this guy is a monster!_

Spice did the same thing as his eyes widened in amazement; it was as if his powerful chi mallet was just a feather tap on Dante. Regaining his composure quickly, Spice said testily, "Okay, I won't anymore."

"Good," Dante quipped jokingly, but went too far into jerk-face mode anyway, "beating down girls or girly men just doesn't suit me."

Dante's words, cheesy and mild as they were, had more of an effect on Spice than Ranma could've guessed. Immediately, Spice's cheeks flushed a tint of red and his eyes narrowed angrily, he bit his lips as his long silky black hair pouted about him.

"Uh oh," Tategami smirked, "Of all the things Dante could've said about Spice, he just had to call him girly…I hope Spice doesn't take this too far!"

Spice glared at him, his eyes aglow of anger and chi, "So I'm girly now? We'll see about that!" Spice ran towards Dante, both his hands glowed with myriad colors of varying chi.

But Dante was ready this time, and effortlessly blocked Spice's attack before launching his own, which Spice evaded. The two pranced about each other, each a dance of death – though it was no high pace techno-break-dance as both "danced" frustratingly slowly in Ranma's opinion – while the seconds wore away and the match approached overtime.

Taliesin, having given up that formerly cool and collected tone, narrated the fight with much gusto, mixed with the fighters naming their attacks right before delivering them (a habit Ranma and his cronies were to be blamed for) such as, "Whoa! That's going to leave a mark!" "Chi blast!" "Oh my god!" "double kick!" "Shinkuu Haudoken!" "Aveda Kedavra!" "Nuclear Launch Detected." turned the battlefield into a cacophony of noise as well as fists (not to mention mud and irritated worms).

A few seconds before overtime, Dante suddenly – or as sudden as these snails could manage – leapt high into the sky to avoid one of Spice's punches.

"An opening!" Ranma gasped in excitement, "Spice will hit him hard on the way down!"

Spice realized this too, and finally breathed a sigh of relief. Fighting Dante had been hellish, this kid had absorbed all of his attacks like a Bounty brand tissue paper absorbed a grape juice spill, and was nowhere close to tearing/breaking down. Though Spice was well accustomed to using his chi to fight, channeling it for a lengthy period of time was still a strain on both his body and his mind. If the match dragged on for too long, Spice may just find his focus or feet slip, then he'll be helpless as the much physically stronger Dante closes his crushing grip onto Spice's throat and tear into his helpless body.

Exploiting this one opportunity to the fullest, Spice focused the chi swimming in his blood into his hands. The swirling energies took physical form in the shape of a long shaft of myriad eye dazzling colors (Spice avoided creating a sharp tip on his chi weapons as he generally wanted to avoid killing his opponent). And with strength bore out of desperation, Spice swung his lengthy shaft towards where Dante – according to the mathematical predictions of one Isaac Newton – would be.

But Newton was to be denied, as instead of falling, a glyph of red energy flashed underneath Dante's feet for a brief second, but it was enough for Dante to kick off of it and dash forward in the air causing not only for Spice's attack to miss by a mere hair length, but also causing Spice's momentum to render the boy defenseless against whatever Dante planned next. Immediately, another glyph appeared above Dante, and giving that one a forceful shove, Dante flew feet-first towards Spice at face/chest/neck-breaking speed.

The moment seemed to linger forever, Spice's chi shaft was hopeless far from reaching Dante, while Dante's foot, glowing white with friction against the air, hurtled hopelessly fast towards a seemingly hopeless Spice, ready to make his pretty face a little less pretty and a little more bloody. Dante's eyes blazed fiercely with delight his talons closed in for the kill.

Instinctively, desperately, Spice squeezed closed his eyes and brought his hands down to cover himself, the former chi shaft melted and reformed on his wrists as a ethereal and incandescent ruby chi shield – it would provide protection against a dangerous penetration. It wasn't enough though, as Dante's kick was strong and it sent Spice crashing painfully into the ground anyway. Right before Ranma's eyes, Spice vanished into the thicket of grass, weeds, and mud.

"Whoa!" Tategami gasped out loud, "I hope Spice is okay! Just how did Dante do that?"

Ranma was at a loss for words, and didn't answer. _Is this it? Spice lost? _Ranma eyed the clock, there was literarily half a second left before overtime, then whoever could land the first hit…

The situation, however, seemed decided to be in Dante's favor. Spice literarily lay beneath him – Dante stood on his chi shield. The chi shield had softened up Dante's kick and the grass and mud cushioned Spice's body as he fell to the ground. Aside from his pride – after all, he was underneath another man with his long black hair ruffled about in the mud – Spice wasn't injured much. Strangely enough, there was a calculating smile on Spice's lips – though no one saw it. Instead, Spice pushed with all his strength (which wasn't much) against the crushing weight of Dante.

Elated with victory, Dante asked teasingly, "You're still not giving up?"

"Why would I?" Spice's hand, pressed upon hard against his chest, made his voice sound strained, "When I have the advantage!" Suddenly, Spice's free hand shot out from underneath the chi shield and before Dante could react, tapped him once on the ankle.

"The hell…?" Dante obviously had no idea what Spice was doing, and neither did Ranma who didn't even hear their short dialogue.

Taliesin explained, "Ahh, hubris is the folly of the hero!" He said knowingly, "Charming and humble Spice, giver of blows to wanton men and boys everywhere, gives the first blow of overtime, and consequently, he triumph over silver haired Dante!"

"Wow," Ranma scoffed despite his hopes that Spice would win, "how lame…"

"It's official rules for the standard match though," Tategami said, "It takes some getting use to. C'mon, it's still early in the afternoon, we'll spar and practice for a few hours then hit the showers."

Space Here

The rest of the afternoon passed quite uneventfully. Dante proved to be a better loser than Ranma, and after a half a second of annoyance, irritation, crawwwwling, and frustration, shook hands with Spice and no longer let the stolen victory bother him. Sparring with the rest of the boys proved to be more taxing then Ranma had anticipated, it certainly was different than sparring with Pop – that slow panda probably would've been ripped to shreds by these guys and turned into orange chicken by some cunning Chinese chefs. But still, Ranma couldn't help but wonder occasionally just what that good-for-nothing Pop of his was doing right now while he was out training..._I'm going to have a long talk with him when I get back_.

Eventually, the sky glowed a warm red and the sun soon set behind a range of distant mountains. Dinner time approached, and Tategami concluded the entire business by suggesting the team, which sparred as a team, shower as a team.

Unfortunately, science has shown and experience has proven that exercise – in this case running about, jumping around, throwing punches, etc. – tends to produce sweat, which by itself is deemed gross and yucky in the eyes of the teenage world, but once mixed with mud and worms from the a overgrown field, tended to produce nothing but the most putrid and vile scents known to man. In the end, Ranma had no choice but to agree to shower and wash himself – either that or die of gas poisoning.

Of course, Ranma had tried time and time again to convince the rest of the team to let him shower later – or at least not with them – but Spice wouldn't have it. Apparently, he was still dying to worm out Ranma's secrets, and Ranma sure as hell would make sure Spice _was_ dying before he would reveal his secret. Ranma tried everything from telling the guys that he had to meet someone (Spice countered with he needed to shower before hand) to claiming he can't take cold water (which was countered by goading Ranma with not being a man). Eventually, Spice iced and touched up the cake of Ranma's inevitability by simply saying ("you hear that Mr. Saotome, that's the sound of inevitability, that's the sound of death…" Well, he didn't say that), "Besides, it's not like you have anything to hide Ranma…"

Spice, like a tenacious tiger chasing a gazelle, had Ranma cornered and pinned down, and was ready to sink his teeth into Ranma's throat and watch his secret spurt out…Which would be absolutely horrible, as Ranma would then be a girl in a shower room full of young and – if rumor is correct – uncontrollably horny men who would then probably offer to go out on a date with her (aww, good ol' innocent Ranma)…_Eww _Ranma paled at the thought and then rebuked himself, _Why am I thinking about _that_ anyway? _

The situation seemed bleak – the absolute gut wrenching, jaw dropping, face slapping, kidney stealing, anus ripping horror that awaited Ranma at the end of the rather well lit hallway, which Ranma and the rest of the gang now walked, would soon boom out of the Pandora's Box of a shower room, except this time, the butterfly of hope had been picked out of the sky and fed to a spider.

So Ranma, in accordance the most basic instincts of survival against encounters with danger, did the one thing that he always resorted to when the situation became too problematic – flight (as oppose to fight, which he also participated in often). Prying another old Saotome family secret technique from the back of his mind, Ranma cried out, "Oh good lord! What the hell is that?" And bounced up and down pointing toward some imagined boogie man of unimaginable (well, technically imaginable) horror from the Farplane – which turned out to be just a peeved and alarmed student – behind the group

"Huh?" Expectantly, everyone turned around, "Why, that's just the new student Harry! I know he's ugly, but that's just exaggerating!" But when they turned back, Ranma had already vanished behind who knows which corridors and doors.

"Oh no!" Tategami said, "Where's Ranma? God knows no one can find their way through these corridors! We have to find him before he gets lost…"

"It's a straight corridor…" Dante pointed out.

"Honestly," Varnie, who had been mostly silent contemplating new plans to spy on the girls at the Sacred Heart academy, spoke up, "No one has a sense of direction like yours Tategami, Ranma is probably just hiding in that room over there….wonder why." He pointed toward the room whose door was still swing slightly on its hinges.

"Drat!" Spice cursed under his breath (he's not much for hardcore cussing), "You guys go ahead, I'll find him!" Tategami and others shrugged and headed for the showers, leaving the lion – Spice – to hunt his gazelle – Ranma.

Ranma was indeed in the empty (it was well past class time) classroom, and judging by the large amounts of hydrochloric acid, Bunsen burners, pliers, and various other dangerous objects, it was either the chemistry lab or detention hall (no pain, no gain). Ranma hid right behind the door so that if Spice did come in, he could slip out before being notice.

It worked – sort of. Spice stepped in, flipped on the lights, and scanned the room. Taking his chance, Ranma, sneaky as a weasel, tiptoed behind Spice and out the door. The "sort of" part comes in when Spice's hands – like the talons of an irritated predatory hawk – sank into Ranma's shoulder from behind, "Hold it Ranma, you think that old gag will work on me? Just how stupid do you think I am?"

Ranma's moves were quick yes, but his mind was quicker, "Stupid enough to – Oh my God! What the hell is that?"

"What?" Spice turned around to inspect – everything was in order – and immediately realized his mistake, but by then Ranma was already sprinting down the corridor away from the showers, "Come back here you sneaky little…." He chased after his prey.

Ranma was faster than Spice, and easily distanced himself from girlish boy, but Spice knew the school and the people strolling about the building well, and always managed to keep up with Ranma. Generally appearing in front of corridors where Ranma thought about turning into, or in front of rooms Ranma considered hiding in.

After a trip to the administration offices (Talleyrand, who was conducting his own affairs, was incredibly peeved and threatened to skin the two boys alive, salt them, and throw them into a pit of cats), the cafeteria (Ranma captured a kettle of hot water for the just-in-case emergency), the dorms (including Ranma's own room which he shared with Caramon), and god knows how many flights of stairs, Ranma thought, as he sprinted down another well-lit hallway, that he finally lost Spice. But he was wrong because as soon as he slowed his pace (even the great Ranma gets tired after extensive exercise), Spice – breathless and huffing – appeared from a corner.

"Son of a…" Ranma muttered as he started running again, "This guy just doesn't give up! I've got to find a place to sit down and rest up a bit…" pushing open the closest door, Ranma threw himself inside and sat leaning hard against the door, hoping it would be enough to keep Spice out…which turned out to be totally unnecessary.

"Welcome Ranma, nice of you to join us," a nude Tategami said as he sat in a furoba soaking out the daily grind.

"Urk…" Ranma's eyes widened in shock, "Oh son of a...What are the chances?" He muttered to himself as he bolted up flipped open the door to escape, "Why the hells don't you people label the shower room with bigger letters, and what happened to the picture of the man on the door? I'll…oof!" He bumped straight into Spice, the kettle of hot water (which Ranma pilfered from an irate chef while racing through the cafeteria and kitchen) clattered to the ground – the water remained thankfully un-spilled to Ranma's relief.

"Because," Spice said as he gave Ranma a rough push, sending him tumbling inside before he dexterously dragged close the door and flipped the lock (why the hell does a public shower have a lock?), "it would be no fun if you escaped…So just go join the rest of the guys in the cold water."

Now, the Spartan Academy was famous for the notoriously tough students it breeds. In order to achieve this unearthly toughness, hardships and harshness are general generously distributed to the students daily. The most unpopular and most rigorous of the hardships imposed upon the students by the Principle Talleyrand was that only cold water was available in the many shower rooms on each floor of the residential building of the school. Aside from that, the shower room, such as the one Ranma and the gang were in, was ordinary in many ways.

A large public furoba, though it was big enough to be a swimming pool, filled chest deep with cold water was in the exact middle of the fluorescent lit room; on the sides against the walls were individual showerheads and counters for washing. Like the many public baths Ranma frequented in Japan, this one was tiled with milky white ceramics; it was nice and lovely and gave the room a feel of warmth that belied the cold water that would flow from water spouts. Talleyrand himself had commissioned for the construction of this particular bathhouse after being prodded by irritated students and plumbers alike – both were tired of clogging (of people and the excrements thereof) in the other base houses. And as a sign of his European heritage, he even had a thick and heavy stained glass (of women bathing) shipped in to serve as a window – and although it was a great piece of distraction, it was seriously lacking as a window. During even the brightest day and moonlit nights, without the lights on, the room was about as dark as a cartload of assholes save for a tiny streak of photons.

Unfortunately, Ranma thought none of that, the only thing that did race through his mind was escape plans and annoyance at Spice, so he decided to buy time for escape by annoying Spice, "Why do you want to bathe with me so much anyways?"

The other guys cocked their eyebrows and smirked at Spice knowingly, who looked back at them peevishly, "No, it's not like that…Besides, why _are _you so afraid of cold water anyway? Plus I'm really curious…" the last part was said more quietly.

"I'm not, I just…"

"Then you won't mind this!" Spice grabbed a nearby showerhead and turned it upon Ranma, and before he could so much as blink, a jet of bone numbing, skin churning, girl forming cold water flew towards Ranma.

"Yow that's cold!"

"Oh good lord! What happened to Ranma?"

"Oh my god! He's really a she! He's really a girl!"

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really!"

"No way!"

"Quick, grab her before she escapes!"

"Let me go you dirty perverts! No, stop it, don't tear my clothe! Ack! This is my favorite shirt! No! don't touch me there! Please stop!"

"Buawahahaha! Not until we have some fun with you girly!"

"Nooo! What…what are you going to do to me? Oh my God it's too big, that'll kill me! Stop it! No, please, don't, don't touch me! Nngh!"

The above scene would've happened had this been a bad porno/hentai spin-off, fortunately for Ranma (and most of the civilized world except for Canada), this isn't; consequently the above questionable dialogue and even more questionable implication did not occur at all (for the record they were discussing pancakes).

Instead, at the last second, Ranma rolled out of the way of the stream of water and twisted shut the knob controlling the water. "So, you want to play this hard way, ehh Spice?" Ranma said dangerously as he stood up and took a fighting stance.

"Gawd Ranma, why don't you just tell me what your Junsenkyo cursed form is?" Spice said impatiently, almost pouting. He glared at Ranma in infinite impatience, but then, in a quieter, more personal and nice voice, Spice asked, "Is it because you don't want everyone else to find out about it?"

Ranma didn't answer.

Taking silence for consent, Spice, suddenly cheerful, turned and prodded the guys to, "Hurry up guys. We'll meet you guys in the cafeteria later, don't wait up for us!" Which managed to garner some seriously raised eyebrows and whispering from Varnie to Dante and Taliesin (Ranma wondered what they were whispering about).

"Whoa," Tategami interrupted without much interest, "if you two are going to start something like _that_, make sure you finish by 7:30 if you want to catch dinner," Tategami said as the he and the rest of the gang dried and dressed themselves, "We'll be in the cafeteria, take Ranma there when you're done Spice." The group left, leaving Ranma and Spice alone in the bath house.

Considering his option, Ranma decided that it was probably best to get this settle with Spice alone – if a fight did break out, and Spice decided to play dirty, Ranma didn't want to risk being splashed by cold water in front of everyone. Consequently, he remained quiet and unassuming as the other boys walked past Spice and then him as they headed out the door.

"Be gentle, Spice." Varnie said with a broad smirk as he passed laughing at his own wit.

"Well Ranma," Spice said, breaking the silence, "No one else is here, why don't you just tell me?"

"Why do you care so much?"

"I don't know, I just want to know, that's all….I have a pretty good guess and I want to know if I'm right…"

"God! Why are you so interested?" Ranma said testily, then an idea, so blatant and obvious he wondered why he hadn't thought of it earlier, hit him, "Unless…you're cursed too…"

"Huh…?"

"Oh my God!" Ranma cried, "It all makes sense now, your long hair, that way you walk, the way you look at Tategami, everything! You're not really a guy are you! Nope, you're cursed with another body and wanted to find a kindred spirit in me!"

"What are you talking about?" Spice said defensively, he patted his chest, "Do you see boobs here?"

But Ranma pressed, he had the upper hand, the tables were turned, the shoe was on the other foot, and he wasn't going to relent that easily, "Yeah, you come from Junsenkyo, so it makes sense that you would've fell into one of the springs. Herb and two other boys were the last of the Musk dynasty, so that could only mean one thing for you Spice – you're not Herb's brother, you're his sister!" Ranma stabbed an accusing finger at Spice.

"Oh it's true! I'm really a girl, but I fell into the nuanchuan and became a boy. But please, Ranma don't tell anyone, I'll do anything!" Ranma had half expected Spice to break down to tears and beg Ranma with something akin to the words aforementioned, but Spice said none of it, instead he just skeptically and coolly said, "Pssh, you sure have a wild imagination Ranma, but I'm all boy."

"Oh yeah?" Ranma went over and picked up the kettle of hot water, "then I guess you won't be afraid of this!" He brandished the kettle at Spice with much flare.

"What?" Spice said dismissively, "Are you going to pour hot water on me?" Snatching a nearby disposable cup (the school provided them in the showers for the purpose of brushing teeth), he held it out to Ranma fearlessly, "Pour me a cup. But if I do it, you'll have to do it too with the cold water." He said warningly.

Ranma was determined to call Spice's bluff, and poured the water with vigorous gusto.

Spice held the cup over his head, he glared at Ranma, "You sure Ranma, this is your last chance to back out…"

"By a good girl and do it," Ranma's hand snaked up overturned the cup.

A cascade of hot water fell onto Spice's hair and down his face and was soaked up by his rather absorbent shirt. But nothing happened, sure Spice's face flushed an indignant ruby and he bit his lips slightly, but he remained a boy still.

"No way…" Ranma said in disbelief as his hands lunged to inspect Spice's body for confirmation. But, mixed with water and some stray soap bubbles, Ranma promptly slipped and fell into Spice, knocking the boy down with him.

"Ack! What are you doing Ranma?" Spice's cried in surprise.

"Making sure you're not a boy," Ranma answered as if it should've been obvious as he pinned Spice to the floor and felt about his chest.

Or at least, he tried to, but Spice was struggling against Ranma to push him off, "Jeez Ranma, stop it! Let me up!"

"Let me just see!"

"You're looking already aren't you?"

"Maybe you're just really flat!"

"Or maybe you're just really dumb! I'm a boy!" Spice cried indignantly.

"C'mon, it won't hurt!"

"No means no you jerk!"

"Just…let…me…" Ranma overpowered Spice and felt about the unconfirmed boy's chest – no boobs, Ranma's hands began to stray farther down south, "If you're not a girl, then why do you…why are you…like…that? Unless…unless, you're g-"

Now the thing with scenes such as the one above is that they tend to seem overwhelmingly weird to folk who haven't "been there" since the beginning. Unfortunately, sounds of struggling, cries of "No means no!" always managed to garner unwanted attention, and this case was no exception. And it just so happened at that moment, Varnie, who had forgotten his jacket in one of the lockers in the shower room, came back to fetch it.

He was in for quite a surprise when he came in the door and saw the new boy Ranma sitting atop of Spice doing god-knows-what to him, "Whoa," Varnie said with much disbelief, but quickly regained his normal wit, "Don't be _that_ gentle Spice! I think I'll get my jacket later…"

"Wait!" Ranma scrambled up and lamely said, "It's not what it looks like! I was…" His words trailed off, having no idea what to say without giving away his secret.

Varnie smirked, "If you boys swing that way, it's fine with me – less competition you know! But just out of curiosity, whose turn is it to be the woman this time?"

"Varnie you pervert!" Spice, who had gotten up, stomped over to Varnie and dragged him to the door and threw him out before slamming the door shut, "I'll bring your jacket down later, and we weren't doing what you were thinking you jerk!" Turning to Ranma, the same annoyance still marking his face (via the # looking symbol), Spice said, "Enough distractions, now your turn!" Grabbing the same showerhead from earlier, Spice flipped it on the water stream. Fortunately, the showerhead was turned the other way and the cold water of death hit Spice not Ranma, giving Ranma the time needed to sprint toward the light on the wall near the door.

Just as Ranma's flipped the switch, a stream of numbing cold water splashed into Ranma's unprotected back. Immediately, Ranma felt the magic of the curse course through his body, a strange ticklish sensation ran through his blood from his back where the water hit, and everywhere that ticklish feeling went, masculinity melted away to be replaced with femininity. Around him, the room descended into absolute darkness as the luminescent lights suddenly went black.

"Ranma you…" Spice pouted angrily in the dark, "You cheater!"

"Now I just have to find that kettle before Spice flips on the lights again, no problem…" He, more accurate she, muttered to herself. Squinting clear her eyes of the splotches of after-light color, though she could hardly see her hand even if she placed it an inch from her face, Ranma could barely make out by the tiniest sliver of silver moon light against the slight glimmer of metal on the floor a foot or two away from her.

Without hesitation, Ranma dived for the glint of silver – his spark of hope and manhood – upon the floor, before Spice could make a move and flip on the lights. Grabbing the kettle, Ranma stood up and tipped it over.

"Oof…" Someone – Spice – bumped into Ranma causing Ranma to lose her grip on the handle.

_Clank_

_Splash_

The kettle bonked someone – Spice again – somewhere – probably on the head – before clanking down to the floor, "Ahh!" Spice gasped, his voice sounded funny in the dark.

"Oh no!" Ranma dropped to her knees and began feeling around for the cold hard metal of the kettle. But instead, she felt warm and smooth skin and gentle fabric, Ranma knew she was touching Spice, but she didn't care, she had to find the kettle! Her hands continued to grope and grapple, "Argh! Where is it?" Ranma muttered frustrated under her breath, "Oh what the hell is this?"

"Hey what are you doing?"

"Aha!" Ranma's hands closed over something hard and stiff and (hopefully) metallic, "Let go Spice!" Ranma cried, completely forgetting the dangers of not pitching her voice low.

But Spice didn't notice, "No, you let go!"

"Ack!" Ranma tugged harder, "Give it up already Spice!"

"Over my dead body!" came Spice's determined reply.

"I can arrange that!" Ranma, firmly planting her foot onto the floor (though it was slippery), forcibly tugged hard on the kettle thinking to snatch it away from Spice, but Spice's grip was strong, and he held onto the handle so that Ranma ended up throwing him toward the door.

_Clank!_ The kettle smacked against the door.

"Oof," Spice followed the kettle's example.

"Oh no!" Ranma, realizing his mistake – giving Spice both her warm water of manhood and potential to flip on the lights and reveal her femininity – immediately dashed toward where she figured she hurled Spice and dove for where she assumed the kettle would be.

Ranma's hands closed over something cold and metallic – but it wasn't the kettle. Giving the doorknob a good twist, the door creaked open and the lights from the hallway inundated in, blinding both Spice and Ranma. Taking a lesson from the man who made lemonade after life gave him lemons, Ranma seized her one shot and tugged the door open wide enough to roughly shove Spice, who was nearby, out. Ranma immediately slammed shut the door again and sat leaning hard against it, her heart pounding in her chest and her blood racing through her veins.

"Phew!" Ranma's hands searched the walls and flipped on the lights, "At least I got that Spice out of here…Oh no…" The kettle was apparently outside with that darned boy.

An impatient series of raps on the door confirmed Ranma's fear, Spice's voice, panicky and hurried, sounded in, "Ranma, open up!" Ranma felt the door budge behind her; Spice was apparently desperately shoving against it.

"No!" Ranma said definitely, "You freakin' tried to force me into the water!"

"Okay, okay," Spice said hurriedly, "I'm sorry, now let me in please!"

Ranma didn't answer, instead she sat there brooding and leaning all her weight against the disobedient door.

"Ranma, please! Let me in!"

"Give me the kettle and I'll let you back in!"

"Okay fine, but I can't just pass it through the door you know!"

"You swear you'll give it to me?"

"Yes, I promise, now let me in please!"

"What if you don't? What insurance do I have?"

"Oh my gawd! I swear, I won't peak or anything I'll…" Spice's voice trailed off.

"Oh really? Do you really swear you won't peak?" Ranma questioned, "Not that there is anything to see…" Ranma added lamely.

Spice didn't answer.

"Spice?" Ranma asked with uncertainty after some time.

Still no answer.

"You there?"

No response.

Gingerly, Ranma got up and gently twisted opened the door, peaking outside she saw two older boys she didn't recognize and Caramon coming her way – but Spice was nowhere in sight, she immediately slammed shut the door again. "Oh my God!" Her breath quickened in her throat, "I can't let those boys see me as a girl. Maybe they're not here to shower!" Hoping for the best, Ranma sat tightly against the door with her fingers crossed.

Unfortunately, fate had Ranma's stars crossed too, and she felt the door press dangerous against her back and a confused voice outside said in English, "Hmm, that's weird, the door's not opening…"

Ranma crossed the rest her fingers and hoped whatever he said meant they'll just give up and go away.

A voice replied dryly, "I've noticed – I assume we'd be walking inside if the door opened."

Once again, Ranma hoped this person was arguing for that they should just leave and go eat dinner now and come back later.

They didn't, "Is it locked?" another voice asked.

"Nope, it's never locked during this hour, plus the knob is twisting, something is blocking the door on the other side again." The first voice said in irritation, "Some jackass probably left that showerhead on the ground again and it got stuck. We probably are going to have to force the door open."

"Well," the third voice, which Ranma recognized as Caramon's sounded in, "let me see," Caramon, from the outside, gave the door two light taps, but inside, it was as if the door had gained a mind of its own – it pressed almost painfully into Ranma. "I guess I'll just tackle it down."

_Oh no…_ Ranma knew, though she didn't understand the words coming out of their mouths, that two light test taps on a door that wouldn't open properly meant the third "tap" would be nothing sort of a bone shacking, shoulder shattering, death defying, life stealing, gut wrenching, knife dropping, Dumbledore killing tackle – in this case by Caramon. And there was just no way could Ranma – even in the male form – withstand Caramon's strength, and as a girl, it would just be overkill. _Damn that Spice! Running away with my kettle! I'll get him for this!_ Ranma thought vengefully. _I'm just going to have to wing this one…_

When the door boomed open, the three boys saw another person sitting, with his back turned to them in the cold water pool patiently washing himself. This boy – or so they assumed – had streaks of bright red in his dark red hair, which were loose and unbraided not to mention wet, and clung to his rather elegant neck and shoulders. Judging by the way his far-too-large clothe drift about him the water, whoever this was, he was a small person. Even stranger was the fact that he _had_ clothe on in the pool.

"Yo kid," One of the three boys – an upperclassman with spiked hair – said in English, "Why didn't you open the door for us?" Detecting no response but noticing the obvious Asian-ness about the "boy," he tried again in Chinese, "Xiao zi, ni za bu bang wo men kai men?" Once again nothing, he tried again in French, then Japanese, but the kid just continued to run his rather graceful and supple hands through his red hair, cleaning out the specks of dirt in them.

Shrugging in annoyance, the three boys took off their garments, placed them into designated lockers, and proceeded to first soak themselves in the pool. When they approached the pool, the boy suddenly spun around, and with skill and dexterity beyond that of a normal boy, smacked the cold water straight into their faces – temporarily blinding them, following that, a wet and heavy Chinese shirt splat right into their faces… But it wasn't good enough, they managed to steal a glimpse at the "boy" anyway.

"Oh my gawd!" The spiked haired boy said to Caramon and the other boy as he threw off the shirt, "Did you guys see that?"

Caramon nodded and the other boy, a freakish looking boy with a wicked grin on his face, drooled hungrily, "a girl!" He stabbed a finger at the door, which swung about on its hinges, "after her!" They raced outside.

Ranma sprinted down the hall, her heart bouncing around her throat, blood drumming through her veins. She was virtually naked except for a pair of short undies and a pair of pants which she used as a makeshift bra to bind down her boobs (bouncing tended to disrupt running). Her red hair, unbraided and curly toward the tips from the long years of being in a pigtail, was wet and clung to her smooth and elegant neck, she had let her hair down so people would find more difficulty in connecting her girl form with her boy form (Ranma was getting smarter and wilier by the second).

Unfortunately, letting her hair down had adverse effects. Girl Ranma's figure was, to say the least, magnificent; pants, having not been intended to cover the chest of busty females, didn't do a particular good job at keep probing eyes from Ranma's breasts. Ranma's feminine and exquisite body did nothing to help the situation, her form, made perfect through years of training, had all the delicious curves and smoothness of a woman's body at her prime. Farther down, the pair of extremely short Sailor Moon shorts Ranma wore openly revealed much of her long, creamy, and smooth legs and the sheer shortness of the wet fabric coupled with each new step she took seemed to hint and tease most alluringly at where the two legs met – there probably wasn't a single man there who wasn't completely undressing her in their minds, consequently, there was probably even less men there who wasn't taking it a bit farther and not only undressing her but also placing her under him (because that's, you know, that's how they ask for dates here)….

As if anyone needed prodding, the three boys burst out of the bathroom and cried out, "Someone grab that girl!" And as if there weren't enough people in that particular hallway, people flooded in like an unexpected hurricane flooded over a city in the south of the United States. And soon, every exit, classroom, doorway, was blocked by hungry looking roughnecks out looking to make a meal out of the first female they came across, and Ranma was cut off from all escape.

_Oh my god! Spice wasn't joking when he said these perverts were desperate…_Ranma thought in panic, _what am I going to do now?_ Around her, Ranma could feel the eyes, filled to the brim with lust, stare at her, glare at her, penetrate her, and undress her, she shuddered at the thought, and almost instinctively, she clasped the pair of pants tighter against her chest in a most girlish gesture. Whispers circled around her, as countless hands reached out for her, _Oh my god! They'll…they'll…(ask me out on a date any second now)_ Ranma found she couldn't finish that horrible thought.

Then, the obvious hit her, "Psh, obviously," she muttered silently to herself, hardening her features, Ranma stared around herself, "Bring it you perverts, I'll beat you all down!" She issued her bravado.

"Get her!" Someone answered and immediately, everyone scrambled to do just that.

Ranma was quick, her footsteps, kicks, and punches were perfectly executed, she was a dangerous dance of boy-death. Whoever tried to grab her, or grope her found her foot making friends with his face or her fists getting intimate with their stomachs. But there was only one Ranma and hundreds of lustful boys who refused to relent and be beaten by a female. Soon, especially since she had sparred with the team and ran around the school with Spice, she felt her breath coming in short gasps, her punches softening, and her heart jumping around crazily. Ranma's legs felt like they were made of rubber, and she could hardly stand, and her stomach protested angrily in hunger (it gets grouchy when it hasn't been fed). Her lungs seemed to have gone on strike from being overworked, and it seemed no new oxygen was being pumped into her blood. She was slipping, and the boys knew it too, some of them soon even managed to grasp her ankle or clasp her wrists before she batted them off, but soon – and they knew this well – they'll overpower her and…

Ranma gulped, "Gotta…keep going…" She breathed to herself in exhaustion.

Suddenly, someone pressed himself against her back, and wrapped his hairy and thick arms around Ranma's neck, chocking her.

"Urk!" Ranma coughed, two other hands seized her ankles before she could move to high-kick the jerk strangling her into the ceiling, and two more seized her wrists and pried them away from prying off the rough beast around her neck. Ranma tried to break free, but she was too tired and exhausted – these perverts had her and they knew it – she was trapped in by a Charybdis of men. "No…" Ranma moaned weakly.

"Quickly! Take off her clothe and let's all have our way with her!" Someone would've yelled and done that if, at the moment, nothing came in to save Ranma.

But since no one said that, someone must've come in to save Ranma.

Indeed, because at the moment when Ranma thought she was done for, a flash of blue light streaked inside the hall blinding everyone. When the light settled, Ranma saw before her stood another girl who seemed not much taller or old than Ranma was. Her hair, longer than Akane's but shorter than the average girl's, seemed almost bluish in the fluorescent light of the hallway. A rather exotic (not to mention skimpy) schoolgirl type outfit complete with anime-style miniskirt clung tightly to this girl's slim and lithe body. Even the white gloves on her hands seemed to define her femininity and gracefulness of her fingers. She turned to Ranma and smiled, Ranma immediately found her very pretty, "Are you okay?" Then, turning to the rest of the guys who was either holding Ranma, grabbing her, groping her, or trying to do any of the aforementioned three, she announced in a clarion and clear yet charming voice, "You perverted boys will pay for hurting this helpless girl! I will punish you all in the name of the-"

She never finished because at the moment, someone (probably the same person as the previous ones) cried out, "Holy crap! It's _that_ girl whose been taking away all our women! Now's our chance, grab her!"

Ranma felt the rough hands loosen their grip on her and lunge for the pretty girl in front of her. Quicker than the eye could follow, the girl of the blue light tugged Ranma close to her and threw her arms around Ranma while dropping three small white packets onto the ground, "Hold on tight to me," She whispered into Ranma's ear.

A wall of smoke burst around them from the packets and the mass of boys, the hallway, everything diffused into opaque white smoke. Ranma felt the ground beneath her shift and tumble violently, then, just as quick as it began, it stopped. The cacophony of the drooling boys, the bright glow of fluorescent lights, and the groping hands were all gone as Ranma found herself sitting on a cold stony floor in a musty and dimly lit room. The girl who had reportedly saved Ranma from a most horrid fate stood over Ranma, though Ranma could barely make her out in the poor light.

Unsure of where to start, Ranma asked the obvious, "Umm, who are you?"

Author's Notes: Sorry for the belated update, finals, SAT IIs and crap are a seriously drain on my time. I'm almost done with the character introductions, following the last girl, there will be no more than one or two other people. Huh? Ranma has streaks of bright red in her otherwise dark red hair? Where did this come from? It's actually more of an arbitrary decision on my part, but I guess it could just be the water. And who is this girl in the exotic schoolgirl outfit complete with anime-style miniskirt? It'll be revealed soon, and she will have an integral part in the whole story.


	7. Secrets

Chapter Seven: Secrets

"Why can't you just tell me what that was?" Ranma pouted.

"Because…it's secret!" the fuku'd girl reply with a hint of exasperation – this red haired girl was too annoyingly persistent.

"But just how did you just 'teleport' here?" Whatever it is that this blue-haired sailor-uniform-wearing girl did to – as Ranma believes – "teleported" them to this dank and musty place, it was something Ranma has never seen before, and consequently, she was dying to discover what it was.

Sighing in exasperation, the girl said, "It's my family's secret Ninjitsu escape technique. I don't know how much you know about martial arts, but martial artists just can't go spouting off everything they know!"

"Oh…" This blue-fuku'd girl was full of surprises, "So what…"

"Sssshhh!" the girl glared at Ranma, being stuck in a dirty little closet indefinitely was one thing, but it frayed this girl's nerves to no end at the endless questions from Ranma, "I wanna hear what they are saying out there!" She turned from Ranma and placed her ear against the door, determined to ignore the pouting red-haired sack of trouble she'd just rescued from a most horrible fate and to discover whatever it was those very boys still have planed.

Apparently, men, especially those who had their blood drained from their minds to a special place a bit farther down "south," don't give up on the scent of a woman easily – even is she was half man. And outside the small cramp musty janitor closet which Ranma and her rescuer huddle together in fear, bands of girl-deprived sex-driven vigilantes (complete with torches and pikes) marched up and down the halls, searching for the elusive but tell-tale signs of woman (such as dropped bras and panties). Ironically, though the school boasts having the brightest bulbs in the shop, none of them thought to check in the most obvious area where two desperate and poorly clothed girls seeking to hide from groping hands, probing fingers, flicking tongues, and throbbing…hands (again) will be – in dark and musty janitor closets a mere few foot away from where they almost had their way with one of the aforementioned poorly clothed (though they should've been unclothed entirely) girls.

Instead, the boys simply stalked about outside the door and about the general area, throwing out such bravados as, "Man, when I get my hands on her, I'll take my –" or " You two hold her down, and I'll force my – " each one getting progressively worse until such things as, "Okay, you four hold her down, then I'll put my – right up – and then you three ram your – into her – and – until we – then we bring in the donkey and – and – finally we take out the small rodent and –"

It was only by the kindness of the gods that Ranma's linguistic understanding of English, Chinese, Russian, Romanian, Farsi, Latin, etc. is minimal; else, she probably would've long since screamed in girlish terror and fainted away.

The other girl, on the other hand, probably understood some – if not most – of what was being uttered, boasted, and threatened right outside the door by passing perverts, and was nearly suffocating herself trying to keep her giggles down.

Ranma, back on the first hand, was decidedly having less fun than her savior. Ignored and lost in the dry desert of ignorance, she brooded away leaning against a dank and cold wall. Her normally flamboyantly flame colored hair was damp and clung to her naked neck and shoulders most uncomfortably. The cold hard marble of the floor sent tingles and shivers up from Ranma's butt to the rest of her body. Mixed with the fragments of dirty, dust, and whatever small trinkets and items of questionable nature janitors managed to drag in while cleaning up after a school of boys, sitting on the floor was a particularly uncomfortable experience to say the least. Worse yet, there were little bits and pieces of decomposed or eaten bits of food – Ranma wasn't sure which – on the floor, which meant only one thing – there's going to be at least one insect or rodent sharing the room with the two girls. And that's no good.

Rebuking herself for succumbing to these girlish weaknesses – something that has annoyed her ever since fate slapped boobs and the other thing on her – Ranma decidedly ignored the yucky environment and edged closer to the other girl. "So…uh…who are you?" She asked as politely as she could.

"What now?" The girl turned, her bluish hair bouncing about her impatiently, her eyes glinted in disappointment. "Oh who am I? You don't know me? I'm only the best at the Sacred Heart Academy: I'm…" She paused, her eyes caught on the pair of wet sailor moon boxers that revealed much of Ranma's creamy thighs.

Catching her glance, Ranma too stared at her boxers, then back at the girl, at the boxers again, and finally back to the girl. Realization dawned, but Ranma nevertheless eyed this girl skeptically, "Sailor Mercury?"

The girl, with her hands on her hips and a smug expression on her face said, "That's right, and you are?" She glanced carelessly down at Ranma as the last words dandily blew out her lips.

"Ranma Saotome," Ranma answered hurriedly before going back to her interrogation, "Mizuno Ami? That nerdy tech whiz who is good friends with Usagi and…" Ranma paused, then added rather lamely, "Uh…err…I don't know – it's not like I watch that show or read the manga or nothing (grammatically it should be anything)…" Next to being a girl, fearing cats, and secretly having a crush (when in girl-form) on an American actor named Chuck Norris, Ranma's dirty little secret of being a sailor moon fan was something she preferred to keep locked away in the steel safe of her mind somewhere. And in a most un-Ranma-like display of embarrassment, Ranma faltered under Ami's gaze and a mild blush rose to her cheeks.

The "Ami" girl nodded, "Yep," then, with a smirk, she added, "I can't believe you watch the show! I always thought it was only for pervert boys and self-conscious ugly girls."

Looking up, Ranma ignored the slanted zing and instead reasoned against the girl, "Well you can't be Ami because Ami is a manga character…" Dryly, she added, "Last I checked manga characters don't exist outside of the manga/anime world…not to mention you're not really in character…"

This girl certainly didn't seem like the Mizuno Ami from the show – who was quiet, mild, and generally nice. Where Mizuno Ami was more concerned about some new trinkets, inventions, or upcoming tests, this particular "Ami" seemed more interested in adventure, fun, and excitement – Ranma could tell by that glittering dance of life in this Ami's eyes. Sailor Moon's Ami certainly wouldn't have lost patience so quickly either; she would've been nice and mild and, with a bit of cute girlish self-consciousness, answered Ranma's questions. _This girl may look like Ami, but she can't possibly be…this couldn't possibly be that Ami_, Ranma reasoned with herself as she eyed "Ami" with doubt, _even her hair seems dyed…_

"Jeez, 'Ranma!'" Ami replied with a hint of irritation at Ranma's gaze, "Could you at least thank me for using my own time to save your ass (that and something not far from there) from those perverts out there?"

"Psah," Ranma cross her arms against her chest, "It's not like they could do anything to me."

Ami eyed Ranma with arched eyebrows, "you mean those boys outside." Lacking a question mark, her words obviously weren't a question, "What do you mean they can't do anything to you? They're probably deciding on plans of what they are going to do to you when they get their hands and fingers on you this very moment!"

"Huh? What do you mean?" Ranma didn't exactly know what Ami was hinting, as, having grown up a martial artist; she never had a chance to engage the boys in crude jokes of sexual prowess. Ranma, being pure and innocent (uh huh!) like a white narcissus flowering on the banks of a shimmering river, was not schooled to recognize the insinuations of that dirty little secret between man and woman's legs (though she obvious knew about them, as, after all, she/he had access to both sides of the puzzle). So in a voice full of clueless innocence laced with girlish fright and charming curiosity, Ranma asked, "What are they going to do to me if they capture me?" and adding a touch of normal-Ranma-ian audacity, "If they so much as lay a hand on me, I'll break it off."

"Playing innocent are we?" Ami rolled her eyes, she was obviously more experienced in this field (oh no!), and was quite untaken by Ranma's wholesome purity and girlish innocence, and so she said darkly, "Well, wanna find out first-hand?"

Ranma would've bounced back with bravado, but reason held her down and so she shook her head quietly instead. Ever since a few minutes ago; she had given mass-horny-crowd-of-boys fighting some serious thought and decided against it. Getting beat up certainly wasn't fun. If she was in tip-top condition Ranma was sure she could easily take down however many boys charged on her, but now, hungry from missing dinner, and still exhausted from sparring with the team earlier, Ranma was significantly weaker than previously. And for the first and (hopefully) last time in Ranma's life, she swallowed her pride.

"Besides," Ami looked down at Ranma, "Why the hell would a helpless and innocent young girl like you come to this pig-pen of a school alone anyways? This place doesn't really care if you're ugly or not, these pig-men will take the first female thing they see." She scoffed.

"What are you doing here then?" Ranma returned brusquely. Ranma, who had been trying to stay polite to the pretty girl who had, after all, saved her, was rapidly tiring of this Ami's attitude of cockiness, and was consequently losing patience.

"Mostly for practice, but also as a community service…" Ami shrugged, "Even the teachers at Sacred Heart can't beat me, so I'm just here for a bit of a challenge."

"So you do martial arts ehh?" Ranma smirked, "I guess that explains why you're so flat."

"Excuse me?" Ami retorted hotly, a #-looking mark on her forehead signifying her irritation, "Would you like to say that to my fist?"

"Feh," Ranma returned with nonchalance, "I can beat you any day!" Ranma would've boasted.

But instead, the both of them fell straight into dead silence as footsteps and voices grew louder outside. A voice sounded outside, "Hei! Jax, in quel luogo eccoli la fanciulla!"

At those words the former pre-catfight tension immediately melted. Ranma turned to Ami in question, but seeing the look of alarm flash across Ami's face, Ranma just knew they've been found out.

"What did they say?" Ranma whispered in askance.

"I don't know," Ami shook her head, "But we've obviously been found out."

Ranma's worst fears were confirmed. As if to punctuate her words, the doorknob twisted and a halo of light burst in from the expanding creak in the door. Almost reflexively, both Ranma and Ami both dove forward, Ranma tackled the door closed while Ami dexterously brought over a nearby chair and tucked it between the knob and the floor.

"Whoa, what the hell?" A voice exclaimed in English.

"Someone's – those two girls! Those two girls are in the janitor closet!" Another voice blared out, and immediately, though Ranma couldn't see it, footsteps and boys flooded outside the door.

Hurriedly, Ranma fumbled to feel the doorknob – maybe there'll be a lock!

"It doesn't lock," Ami whispered into Ranma's ear, "I checked, we'll have to just hang on."

Ranma nodded and followed Ami in pushing all her weight against the door, which by now was being shoved hard by the shoulders of millions of boys right on the other side.

Of course, it comes to no surprise that two anime-derived girls and a rickety, worm-eaten wooden chair would not hold out against boyish surges of carnal girl-craving lust. But, as some famous person or whatever once said, "When there's a will there's a way!" Ranma and Ami just maybe could've held out…if, that is, fortune had not been so unkind to them.

Sure girls are cute and pretty little things that everyone dots upon and adorns affectionately. The graceful sweeps of their normally long hair, the cute tinge of pink on their cheeks, and the seductive curves of their bodies all seem mix together, blending liquid grace with child-like innocence with yet a touch of dirty naughtiness. These dangerous and lovable creatures have many a times been the greatest joy and most painful downfall of history's greatest men.

But having been so well-equipped in the "offensive" sense, God balances the system with some rather serious defense defects. While any idiot can be a guy, it is rather difficult to be a girl (lucky for Ranma, she's both). Despite having a natural weakness versus cuteness (such as puppies), flattery, and tentacles (not to mention a most uncanny fear of cats in Ranma's case), girls everywhere share a most unexplained and unreasonable fear for insects – ranging from the cockroach to the spider.

Naturally, when she felt the crawling touch of hairy antennae or legs (or whatever) brush against her wrists, a most girlish scream of terror almost escaped her lips. But, at the last second, Ranma's boyish (Manly!) pillar of dependability and strength chocked the scream back – he was a man! And men aren't frightened of measly spiders! No matter how big, hairy, or just plain gross and yucky they were!

Ami, being all girl, had none of Ranma's fearlessness, and consequently, startled back and jumped a mile from Ranma in horror, a scream on her lips. Incidentally, Ami's foot was caught on the very chair that leaned helped block the door from opening, and so when she jumped back, the chair came spinning loose and away and Ami herself tumbling to the ground.

Turning in surprise, Ranma instinctively lunged forward and caught Ami before she could trip over or fall into a janitorial vat of cold, murky, used mopping water. This, of course, meant there would be nothing holding the door shut and the boys out.

The door burst open, and the menacing shadows of men fell upon the two helpless girls.

"There they are!"

"Where? I don't see them!"

"Right there! Let's grab them! Ha, you're not getting away this time my pretty!"

"Aha! So that's where you two were hiding! You won't escape this time!"

"No! Let go of me you bastards!"

"Shut it girly! It's not up to you what we do!"

"Buawahaha! Not even death will save you from me!"

"Stop! Please, don't touch me…"

"Buawahahahaha! We'll have our fun with you and your little friend here too! She won't save you this time!"

"Wait, let's negotiate this! Can't we talk about this like civilized people?"

"Pfft, enough talking, I'll make you girlies hurt with…THIS!"

"Eww! What the hell are you going to do with _that?_ Baka! Get it away – Mmmph!"

"Don't fight it girly! S'yeah, that's the stuff!"

"Stop it, you're chocking her!"

"_Cough, cough…_"

Fortunately for Ranma, the above scene just wasn't meant to happen. Instead, something else similar occurred.

When the door boomed open and an inundation of light and grunting voices poured in, Ranma stood helpless with her arms still around Ami from when she caught her from falling. The two innocent girls were hopelessly entrapped by innumerable masses of boys. It was like the fabled ancient siege of Troy, and this was the final moment, where one fateful mistake – one Trojan spider – had helped the boy armies flank the walls, burst in the door, all that was left was a final thrust and penetration. Sure, the janitorial closet had some weapons, but what could old buckets of cold and murky water and broken broomsticks do against burly men hell-bent on taking whatever it is they could want from two youthful, pretty, and highly hentai-able girls?

And these men really were burly, though the light flooded in behind them, and Ranma could see mostly only their silhouettes, she could see their muscles ripple across their arms and chests. The roughness of their arms and hands. The buff coarseness of their necks. These monsters were bigger than Ranma even when she was a boy, and now, as a girl, she felt dwarfed and vulnerable before their masculine and massive raw manhood. Any moment now, they would crush their beastly hands upon Ranma's relatively frail shoulders and rip her from Ami…and then (refer to above scene)…

Ranma noticed the biggest, burliest, and apparently leader of the wolf pack, leering at her in a most freakish and disturbing way, his fingers clawed manically at the air, no doubt in anticipation for the author-ian "any moment" to arrive so that he could sink them into Ranma's flesh. For a brief moment, Ranma felt like Ann Darrow standing before the raging King Kong. But where King Kong was a large naked hairy ape, this man wore a pair of loose red trousers, a red but unadorned military coat buttoned up and secured by a nondescript thick black belt, and, most eccentric of all, a red military hat with a somehow even more eccentric symbol – one which Ranma had never seen before. And where King Kong wanted nothing more than to be understood and loved by a gorgeous blond of another species, this man seemed to care none at all about love – except making it with red-haired formerly pigtailed girls who rather be making their way out of it . The man reminded Ranma of Dante in a most horrid way, only the nonchalant and relax devil-may-care attitude was replaced with an aura of serious maliciousness.

Yet, there was something weird about this guy, that much the martial artist in Ranma's blood told her, this red-clad psycho obviously dabbed in some form of martial arts – some form Ranma has never seen before. Whatever it is, it was powerful, Ranma found herself locked between curiosity and the man's intensely red and penetrating gaze. For a brief moment, Ranma fancied she could see herself entrapped within this evil man's demonic gaze.

Unfortunately, the moment wasn't brief at all, and it was only when Ranma found her wrists and legs seized by rough hands did she snap back to reality. But by then, she was already being dragged along by the red-clad man with the still transfixed Ami into the light-bathed hallway.

"Finally! Some girls!" The red clad man cried in excitement, and immediately Ami too snapped out of the spell he had wove upon them both. Evil and demonic this man may be, he was not yet fully a man – though this monster may one day aspire to take over the world and destroy all that's good, he's still undergoing puberty today – consequently, his voice cracked and broke even on the few words he spoke. Which was true enough, as now, in the lime light of the hallway, Ranma could clearly see formerly fierce and shadowy dude's acne-encrusted, pimple infested, oily face, she couldn't help but giggle to herself in disgust and relief.

Ranma exchanged glances with Ami, fear and tension melting away slightly at the onset of such a visually fearsome by realistically embarrassing man.

Ami, despite still being at the mercy of the red-clad man and however many lustful boys there were in the hall – she was, after all, still being held down by just as many groping hands as Ranma – still somehow managed to say loud and cheerfully, "Hey, is that a third nipple on your forehead?"

The red-clad man went as red as his coat as he felt people's eyes turn from the fuku-wearing girl and scantily clad girl to the study of the large pimple on his forehead, his eyes shifted about, unsure of what to say.

Taking advantage of this one weakness, Ami exchanged a short but incredibly suggestive glance toward Ranma, who understood immediately – where the two girls couldn't possibly win in a physical fight; they could hopefully use their wits to focus everyone's attention on this red-clad boy and escape undetected through a nearby window.

Ami zinged again, "You should considering wearing you hair long – like over that face."

Ranma eyed Ami with arched eyebrows – Ami was full of surprises. Then, turning her attention to the blushing boy, Ranma joined in and asked in false solicitation, "Hey, are you crying?"

"Man, how does…" Ami zinged him again.

Ranma did the same thing, only this time it was dirtier and more personal, Ami followed up with something doubly hurtful and mean. The cycle went on, each insult getting more personal, more hurtful, and sadly more comical. The boy's face grew redder, the other boys' laughter grew louder, their grips became looser, and the sexuality of the two girls grew more invisible. Soon, Ami and Ranma were slowly edging toward the window of escape, when at long last; the jerk-face duo finally met the asymptote of hurtfulness and comical-ness.

Ranma elbowed Ami hoping she would have something; she elbowed Ranma back with the same hope. The other boys' glances were slowly shifting from focusing on the described problems on their pimple encrusted red-as-a-prune leader back to the two girls. "Say something," Ami whispered desperately to Ranma, "I'm out of ideas! And if we lose them now, we're on a new level of screwed!"

"Me too!" Ranma whispered back, "Ack! If only he was fat!"

"Just say something quick! But make it good!"

Ranma said something, but it wasn't good enough, "Hey, what does your face have in common with…"

Ranma didn't even get to finish – the interlude of silence had unwoven the girls' intricate plans, and now they were back to square one and a half (they were closer to the window). The red-clad man drew himself to his full height, the humiliated blush was gone, and now, everything was all business again. Acidly and venomously, he stabbed a vengeful finger toward Ranma and Ami and foiled their plans, "Grab them! They're escaping!"

Ranma made a break for it, but she couldn't so much as move a step before people literally threw themselves at her and Ami. In a split second, despite all their girlish struggles, the two girls found themselves once again captured.

"You two laughed at me for being cursed with this horrid complexion…damn youth…" The red-clad man walked over to them, he seemed to grow in size as he approached, once again his eyes glowed the psycho red, "But it's all sticks and stones – your words don't hurt…But this will!." His loathsome hand crawled up against Ranma's slender neck, "Ooh, you're so soft girly. Let's feel the rest of you!"

Ranma, putting on a show of fearlessness and nonchalance she remember Talleyrand using on her, spat at the red clad man in defiance, "If you tell your little boys to get their paws off me, I'll let you live in the next few minute when I stop going easy on you."

The red-clad man scoffed, calling Ranma's bluff, "You expect me to believe you still have some tricks up your sleeves? When you don't even have sleeves (or a shirt)!" Then, with his hands sliding down Ranma's neck to her chest, he said in amusement, "Say, just what do you have planned to take us down girly? What if I do this?"

"Wait!" Ranma cried out in panic, she neither like where this was going nor did she particular enjoy the roughness and coarseness (not to mention sweatiness) of the hands touching her, "Can't we talk this over? Ouch! Do you have to squeeze so hard?"

Ami, who was undergoing similar if not rougher treatment, speedily agreed, "Yeah, seriously, I was only joking before! No, wait, don't rip that!" Rough hands were fumbling over her fuku.

But of course, fate just wasn't going to leave Ranma and Ami to be simply royally screwed over in a hallway just out of the blue. Obligatorily, a familiar and clarion voice called out in Japanese over boyish growls of lust and girlish squeals of fear, much to, the surprise of all, "Let those girls go, Vega!"

To Ranma's surprise, the red-clad man who was being far too familiar with Ranma's body than she was comfortable with, turned furiously, his line of sight cutting a swath through the thick wall of boys to the speaker, "Who dares trifle me?"

To Ranma's surprise, it was Spice. Judging by his neat and clean appearance, when Ranma was running about for her life and trying to stay out of trouble before trouble stuck itself in her, Spice took his sweet time and combed his hair, found a soft and comfortable pair of shorts, and dug up a shirt that complemented the color scheme well. Ranma had a distinct desire to smack Spice around a bit when the situation calms down a bit.

"Who else, you prick!" Spice retorted toward this Vega hotly, "Let those two girls go and I won't beat you down in front of your dumbass cronies." Spice's eyes glanced over Ami, and widened in recognition and shock when they landed on Ranma, a smile came to his lips.

The gang of men around Vega turned furiously at Spice's taunts, each cracking their knuckles in preparation to crack Spice's face, neck, or whatever else on the girly boy they felt needs to crack.

"Feh!" Vega spat at Spice, "Seeing as how you learned nothing since last time, maybe this time I'll snap that pretty neck of yours in half." Vega symbolically crushed his massive hand into a fist.

Ranma was intensely curious as just how Spice intends to beat down this massive Vega and his massive amount of underlings/cronies/followers. Maybe Spice could hold them off with his chi powers, but considering the size and strength of all these men, Ranma was certain they would rend poor Spice limb from limb and use him for seasoning. And for a brief moment, Ranma even imagined that Spice was willing to give up his life so that Ranma (and Ami) could escape.

Spice, with a noticeable quiver in his voice, nevertheless stated out his bravado, "Alright Vega, if I win, then you let those girls go…"

_Feh…_Some part in the back of Ranma's mind scanned the situation from an overhead camera. In all her adventures in Nerima, Ranma always played the maiden-saving hero, the honorable and courageous warrior, and the seductive lady's man, the thoroughly perfect and lovable teenager loved by all his friends and feared by all his enemies. But here, in Aulis, the tables were turned, and Ranma found herself held captive and helpless while another boy risked himself to save her…She really didn't even now how she should feel about it all. So she simply stuff the thought into a dark recess in her mind and gave it no more attention, instead, she turned to Vega's reply.

Vega, the rim of his hat covering his eyes, seemed to consider the proposition, then a insidious smirk came to his face, "Alright, if you win, I won't touch these girls for now, but if you lose, then you'll allow me to run some hot water tests on you."

Everyone exchanged confused glances and arched their eyebrows in askance. Everyone, that is, except Spice, at those words, Spice allowed himself a moment of shock, before he sneer dismissively, "Oh really? Come and get me then!" Spice, taking his battle stance, stood fearlessly in front of the much larger Vega and cried out, "Chi shield!" immediately, a soft ruby radiance in the form of a shield formed on Spice's arm, "C'mon my foot has an appointment with your ass, Vega."

But Vega didn't seem perturbed, instead, he confidently strode toward Spice with his lips curled in derision, "Feeling cocky are we? Let's change that shall we?" Vega reached inside his military coat and did something as he continued to walk toward Spice.

Once again, everyone exchanged confused glances and befuddled stares…everyone, that is, except Spice. The soft radiance of the chi shield on Spice's arm was suddenly gone, and instead a pale look of fear crept into Spice's eyes. Instinctively, he clasped his hand against his chest and took a small step back, a look of profound shock on his face. He eyed Vega with a look betwixt fear and curiosity, "How…?" He mouthed silently.

"What's wrong?" Vega mockingly asked, "Lost your nerve?" He parted his way through the crowd and menacingly loomed over to Spice. "Not so tough without your chi are you, Spicy boy? Where's your little friend Tategami huh? Is he not around to save your ass this time?"

Ranma decided there was obviously a history of bad feelings between Spice and this Vega, and judging by the expression of blatant hatred on Vega's face as he stood dominatingly over Spice, it was probably not something small and silly – like the rivalry between Ryoga and Ranma was, which had its roots in meager gluttony. But unlike the rivalry between Ranma and Ryoga where both rivals – who were deep at heart more friends and enemy – were fairly evenly matched, Vega was at least a head taller than Spice, twice as big, and probably four times strong. One good jab would be all Vega would need to punch a hole through Spice's stomach, while Spice would probably have to bring in an assortment of everything ranging from chairs to milk trucks to even scratch Vega.

Spice apparently realized this too, and much to the disappointment of the entire fearless-hero-caste, backed away from the approaching Vega with shaky steps until he was caught between two unfriendly walls. Cornered, Spice couldn't afford to simply be innocent, and that he must stand up and face the enemy – it was a do or die situation – Ranma was expecting Spice to at least try to channel his chi again and spring to attack any second.

Spice lowered his head slightly and his hands closed into fists, seemingly ready to pound Vega, "I won't get beat down by you, you jerk!" Spice whispered with silent determination, "Not after last time…"

"Go get him Spice!" Ranma cried out in encouragement.

"Yeah, you can take him!" Ami joined in the cheerleading.

But then, in a move that made both Ami and Spice groan, Spice look up at Vega with a most forced puppy-dog sweet smile (that tended to work much better when used by girls), "Let's talk about this Vega, do you really want to fight? I mean, I know it's after school and all, and most of the teachers left already, but we could still get in trouble…"

…

…

…

"Ugh…" Ami groaned, "What a loser. Is this how he plans to escape getting a beating?"

"Stupid Spice!" Ranma called out, "Why the hell didn't you think this out before busting out and trying to play the hero?"

The two girls were ignored.

Vega snarled, "Sure, let's talk, just like last time!" With that, his fist hurtled toward Spice's face.

But Spice ducked, and instead of breaking his cheek, Vega put a small dent into the wall where Spice's head was a moment ago.

"Woot!" Around Ranma the crowd of Vega's cronies cheered on their leader, "Beat down that idiot! Take down his girly ass! Show no mercy! Break him in half! Break into quarters! Break him into quintuples! Rip him apart! Use the Shun-Goku-Satsu on him! Tear up his liver and feed it to dogs!"

Incidentally, as the cheering grew louder, and the presence and sexuality of the two girls faded into background, the hands holding them down also slacked and loosened.

_Now's your chance to escape! _Ranma's thoughts screamed.

Right now, while these burly muscle-brains were distracted, Ranma and Ami must make their move if there wanted to escape. Risking a glance at Ami, who nodded back in understanding, Ranma took a shaky breath and cried out, "Now!"

In a flash, the two girls wretched their hands and feet away from their captors while fling kicks and punches straight to shins and faces before they could recapture them.

"Hit them where they're weakest, Ranma!" Ami cried out as she delivered a series of kicks at one particularly unlucky boy's crotch.

Ranma and Ami fought back to back. Ranma was faster, stronger, and more skilled than Ami, but Ami wasn't afraid to resort to such dirty tactics as repeated jabs at crotches, pokes to the eye, kicks to the shin, and whatever else she figured would hurt a boy. Without Vega's strange hypnotic power, and the combined powers of two sexy young girls, the formerly crowded hallway was soon empty save for folk lying on the ground holding their crotches in pain. Only Ranma and Ami stood amid a sea of groans of, "Argh! My balls!"

"Phew!" Ranma breathed in exhausted congratulations, "Looks like we did it!"

"Uh huh!" Ami was huffing and puffing, she leaned her back against Ranma's, "What a workout! Let's call it a night and hit the hay."

Ranma would've nodded in agreement, had Spice not suddenly cry out, "Ahh! Help me guys! I can't…" And reminded the two of them they still had one more chore to complete.

While Ranma and Ami handled the Vega's cronies with ease, Vega himself, like the big boss in any video game, was obvious much harder (in more ways than one as, which, despite all of Ranma's worst nightmares, would be confirmed later) than the combination of his underlings. Naturally, Spice was pinned against a wall, his eyes closed in deep concentration, a weak and rapidly fading chi shield was all that stood between life and Vega's fists displacing many major vital organs.

Vega snarled at the helpless Spice, "I underestimate you, still managing a chi shield despite my disabler. But just how long can you hold it, girly?"

"I am so kicking your ass you pimple-faced freak!" Ami vengefully cried out as she and Ranma charged.

What a sight that would've been! A big burly red-clad martial artist being beaten down by a scantily clad red haired beauty and a ripped-fuku blue haired vixen – it could've been an ending scene that appealed to both sex and violence. That is, if Vega didn't have some tricks up his sleeve.

Vega spun around, and glared straight and hard into the eyes of the two girls. Too late did Ami and Ranma realize they were falling into a trap, too late did Spice's warning reach the two girls, "Don't look into his eyes! His 'Psycho' energy will paralock you!"

"Ack!" Ranma gasped, "I…can't…move…" Vega's red blazing eyes seemed to burn into Ranma's skull. It seemed at that moment, all her muscles had turned to lead, and were systematically trying their best to fall to the ground. It literarily felt like she had magically gained three hundred extra pounds, even her belly felt swollen. Mysteriously, the only muscles that did work were her throat and mouth.

Next to Ranma, Ami was faring no better, "Ranma…What's going on?" She asked, a hint of panic seeping into her usually dry and light tone.

Spice answered them, "It's Vega's psycho field, you have to fight it guys! I can't hold out much longer!"

Powerlessly paralocked, Ranma looked on with horror as Vega's powerful fists rained down furious power over Spice's rapidly fading chi shield. Spice couldn't fight Vega without using his chi, and Vega somehow managed to disable Spice's only reliable weapon – so all Spice could do was try and defend himself against Vega's insistent attacks. The situation was obviously in Vega's favor – throwing punches took much less effort than channeling the chi-force flowing through one's blood to focus into a shield capable of deflecting physical blows. And although Ranma could see perspiration seeping under Vega's armpits and on his face, Spice's face seemed pale with concentration and exhaustion; he was biting his lip to stay conscious. And Ranma was helpless to help.

"Just die already you little whore!" Vega drew back his hand, and let loose a furious punch into Spice's shield.

"Ahh!" A scream escaped Spice's lips as his hands fell limply to his sides and his head drooped in complete exhaustion. The thin red barrier of his shield faded into nothingness. He leaned heavily against the wall, vulnerable before a sneering Vega.

"See, you little whore, you'd never win against me in a fair fight." Vega snarled nastily as his thick grubby hands reached down and closed around Spice's neck. Pinning the nearly unconscious Spice firmly against the wall by his neck, he sneered cruelly, "You're nothing without Tategami backing you up, and where's he now huh? Chewing on a piece of chicken with Varnie and Kel perhaps? Or maybe buying a cup of Ogasmi huh?"

"How's this fair you jerk!" Ranma cried out, but was ignored.

"Let…go…of…me…you…cow…" Spice, who was clearly in a most compromising and uncomfortable position, still refused to give up, instead his supple fingers tried, seemingly in futility, to pry away Vega's thick and steel grip.

"Let him go you jerk!" Ranma called out from where she stood. Slowly, life seemed to be seeping back into her muscles and body, she could even move her arms and legs a little now.

Vega ignored the both of them, instead, his free hand reached into his red military coat and produced a small canteen, "You know, ever since that day at the pool when the pool heater went haywire when we were in the middle of the butterfly endurance test, I've been curious as to why you suddenly just jumped out the pool and ran off – no one just takes a failing grade if they could help it." He popped the top open with a finger, "And when I heard a rumor about a pretty girl with long black haired that looked like Spice running into a shower room…You have long black hair, and you don't just look like Spice, you are Spice." He paused and swirled his canteen, the water in there swished about dangerously, "I was going to use this for some Ramen later, but this beats that any day. You obviously have no love for hot water, so unless you tell me what your connection with this black haired girl is, I'll find out for myself." He posed the canteen over Spice's head menacingly, ready to pour.

"Don't…" Spice whispered inaudibly. He bit his lip in concentration, but he was obviously too exhausted to channel up another chi shield. Already, the color had completely drained from Spice's face; even his normally smooth and silky raven-black hair seemed dry and stiff now. Pinned against the wall, Spice was, by this point, too weak to even kick at Vega, he wasn't going to be conscious for long, especially with Vega's cow hoof of a hand around his slender neck.

"I told you let him go!" Ranma suddenly burst through the paralock and, in a flying dragon kick, rammed her foot straight into Vega's back.

"Oof!" Vega gasped in surprise, he was clearly not expecting his paralock to wear off so quickly. The canteen slipped from his hands, the hot water splashed all over the passed-out Spice.

"No way!"

Author's Notes: For the record, Ami is not who she seems. Sorry for late updates, life has been hectic has heck. I'm not too sure if the real Vega/Bison has some sort of "psycho" mind-control/disabler, but whatever. Gee, I wonder if Spice will somehow escape being found out this time…Oh, and correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Bison known as Vega in Japan?


	8. Spicy Past

Chapter Eight: Spicy Past

"Ami!" Ranma screamed after the fuku'd girl, "Where are you going?"

"Sorry Ranma, but I'm sure you're skilled enough to take him alone!" Ami covered the mouthpiece of her cell phone as she turned around to yell back at Ranma, "I'm already late!"

"Wait! You can't just ditch me like this!" Ranma pouted.

Ami didn't answer; instead she turned a corner and disappeared, still chattering with whoever it was on the other end of her cell phone conversation.

"Ha," Vega's oily and greasy voice oozed into Ranma's ears, dragging her back to reality, "look how the tables turn, girly! One cell phone call and your little friend surrender you to me. I make you hurt for that kick you little slut." He snarled nastily.

"Stop calling me those names you pervert!" Ranma spun around and faced Vega with an elite battle stance, "That girl would've only got in my way – consider your ass kicked!"

Pow!

Whack!

Swish!

Boom!

Wham!

Zap!

"You dirty pig! Take that!" Ranma suddenly appeared right behind Vega and, with a swift sweeping kick, sent Vega tumbling to the ground.

"Oof!" Vega hit the ground hard, and, despite having taken over a hundred punches from Ranma's fast fists, managed to flip himself up with impressive determination, "You damn girl! I hate girls! Prepare to die!" His fierce and enraged yell came out with a break in his voice and ended up sounding childish.

"If you just listen to me a while back and got your dirty paws off of me, I wouldn't need to beat down your perverted ass now!" Ranma was equally angry, "What you did to me back there…what you put me through! That's not forgivable!" Ranma was always at heart a boy, and being touched and groped all over by other bigger and buffer perverted boys was a new level of humiliation for her – nothing was going to stop her from destroying this human male (well not really)!

"In a fair fight you'll never beat me, you loser!" Ranma taunted as she danced about Vega evading his attacks while landing hers, "Now let Spice go you muscle-brain cow!"

Spice, still unconscious, lay crumpled in the same corner where Vega had nearly strangled him earlier. An eerie dark shield-like aura, which Ranma figured to be Vega's psycho field again, glowed like cage around Spice's inert body. Ranma was seriously hoping Spice was still alive and breathing – Ranma's active imagination had a fleeting impression that Vega was maybe draining Spice's life-force to add onto his own – but she had no way to check. Vega psycho field, concentrated to the point it seemed it was siphoning the very light from the room into it, menacingly threatened to paralock Ranma again. Naturally, Ranma decided to she had to take out the source of the field first, which is quite convenient as she wanted to beat down Vega anyways.

Surprisingly, despite having a powerful arsenal of psycho powers, Vega was noxiously slow – even that tomboy Akane was faster. And it was easy enough for Ranma to avoid his petrifying gaze and his sluggish punches.

"What's wrong slow-poke?" Ranma teased as she sent a swift kick to Vega's shins, "can't hit me?"

"Argh!" Indeed, Vega couldn't, Ranma was just too fast. It was like trying to nail a fly with a mallet – one hit would be all it takes, but it was virtually impossible to land that hit. But where a fly couldn't do much to retaliate, Ranma's punches, fast and furious as they are, was sending spasms of hurt up and down Vega.

"Hiya!" Ranma slapped/punched Vega square on the cheek, "That's for squeezing so hard! Eww, pimple juice."

"Oww! You dirty little -" Vega, so furious he was practically foaming at the mouth, wanted nothing more at this moment than to throw this damn girl on the floor and crush her to death. But he could, Ranma was just too fast. And as humiliating as this seemed, Vega knew he couldn't beat this girl in this fight – she was faster, stronger, sexier, and more attractive than he was, and he was destined to lose this bout.

That is, if Vega wasn't particularly evil and cunning, and unfortunately for Ranma, he had one more trump card up his sleeve – Spice. Channeling the psycho cage around Spice wasn't exactly a cake walk, and if this damnable girl kept on her attacks, Vega wasn't sure how long his cage would hold. It was now or never. So instead of taking a swing at Ranma when her jump kick seemingly left her open, Vega made a dive backwards toward where Spice lay on the ground. Ranma's kick, instead of smacking into his chest or some other more defensive area, pummeled painfully into his back.

"Are you actually trying to hurt yourself more? Let me help you with that!" Ranma smirked with cockiness. She underestimated just how dishonorable, anal, and pure jackass-ish Vega could be.

"No," Vega answered acidly as he, in a smooth tuck-and-roll, roughly grabbed Spice from the floor and into a choke-hold, his hand glowed dark with murderous psycho energy, "But you'll do as I say or Spice here gets it."

Ranma froze in her steps, the cocky smirk quickly faded – but not from Vega's threat. Ranma's eyes widened as she looked upon the girl Spice for the first time. Ranma didn't know why it should even surprise her at all that Spice was a girl, despite Spice's occasional rough boy-ness, it had been about as obvious as day – the way Spice carried herself, her history, her attitude, everything seemed to point toward the inevitable (hell, Ranma even guessed it once). But it nevertheless did.

Spice's girl – true – form, had none of Ranma's sass and flare, or Ranma's rosy and pinch-able cheeks, or Ranma's pigtailed and flame-red hair. Spice wasn't pretty and cute the way Ranma was. No, instead, Spice was...beautiful. Pristine. Lovely. While the feisty Ranma was someone boys everywhere would love to see reduced to obediently clinging to them as she lay powerless underneath them, Spice was someone boys would look upon from a distance in awe, and, depending on the class and education of the boy in question, do everything from writing flowery poetry in praise and admiration to trying to catch a glimpse of her naked. Even the fact that Spice was unconscious and being used as a hostage against Ranma didn't dampen her heart-breaking beauty – she simply seemed peaceful and serene.

But nothing is perfect. Spice's features were marble perfection, except, that is, for that little red scar on her cheek. While in her boy-form, the little scar gave her a sense of feral feline wildness, in her girl-form, it marred her beauty. Where Spice could've been a pristine and scintillating angel, that little red scar clipped her wings and cast her down to the mortal realms. Worse, it seemed to Ranma that the little red scar must've cut deeper than just Spice's cheeks – it had cut into her spirit as well, and gave Spice a look and feel of being human…but what a goddess Spice could've been! Ranma couldn't help but wonder just how Spice came about getting that little scar (not to mention how she became part-boy). But that's neither here nor there.

Here and now, however, Ranma considered her options and firmly decided Vega is just bluffing, "You wouldn't dare! Let her go, or else!" She said as with a sneer. Daringly, she took a step forward.

"I'm not joking." Vega stated flatly as he held the poor unconscious Spice as a shield against Ranma.

Ranma bit her lips and allowed herself a brief second of consideration before she decided Vega was full of crap – he was bluffing in hope that Ranma would play the noble-inflexible-hero role and succumb to his stereotypical-dishonorable-villainous-treachery, and then, after making sure she's properly subdued, change her role status to hopelessly-entrapped-hentai-victim. Instead, Ranma, pulling a line from a James Bond film (of which she was an avid fan), said as she took the Umi-sen-ken pose and melted into the wind, "Go ahead then, she means nothing to me. You'll just get expelled and jailed in addition to getting your butt kicked by a girl!" (Ranma never had the guts to use this line with Akane, as if he _did_ say it and Akane managed to get away alive…the consequences would be dire!).

Vega was in big trouble now – this stupid damnable jerk-face of a girl had managed to outsmart him and call his bluff, and was now using some secret technique so that he can't even see her anymore. Muttering a most profane curse against the girl, who was apparently named Ranma (a most strange name for a girl), Vega decided to resort to his only alternative.

Ranma was right, he didn't have the guts to just cap off Spice, murder was something Vega has considered many times, but he could never bring himself to overcome that annoying tinge of morality in his blood. Not to mention the fact that killing someone was a pretty big step in life, and Vega just wasn't ready to take that step yet – at least, not for something so relatively minor and insignificant as this.

The hallway felt eerily empty with the sudden vanishing of the red-haired girl, who was probably preparing a powerful attack any second now. And having already expended much of his psycho powers throughout the day, Vega's remaining psycho energy was barely strong enough to have channeled the psycho field around the much smaller Spice, so there was no way he could use it as a comprehensive shield for himself – this stupid hateful (albeit incredibly attractive and wonderfully delicious) girl definitely had the upper hand, victory would soon belong to the female (which was something Vega, as a man, couldn't allow). And so, at times like this, Vega did the one thing that bad guys always do when they've used up all their trump cards – escape.

Eyeing the light switch at the end of the hallway, Vega focused a ball of psycho energy – his remaining psycho energy – and blasted it at full speed toward the light switch. "Kiya!"

_Bzzt!_ The lights fluttered off immediately with a buzz and the hallway was submerged into impregnable darkness – save for the tiny beam of moonlight from a small window nearby.

Vega, with the strength of a bison, hoisted the unconscious Spice over his shoulders and bolted for the exit of the hallway toward the biology lab that also served as his Shadowlaw Club's meeting room – essentially Vega's lair.

Ranma was fast and invisible, yes, but without a trace of light – except for one minor moonbeam – Ranma was suddenly at a loss for moves. Worse yet, unlike Vega who obviously knew the school well enough to travel its corridors from memory alone, Ranma could barely remember where the shower-room door was. It was only when she heard thumping footsteps of someone running growing fainter and fainter did she realize that Vega was escaping presumably with Spice.

"Hey you cheater!" Ranma called out angrily, "Come back here and fight me like a man!"

Vega snarled back as he ran, "Shut it girly, if you want to finish this and rescue your little friend here, come to room 606 – it's the biology lab – alone!"

"You can't win in a fair-and-square fight against a girl so you cheat?" Ranma taunted as she followed Vega as best as she could with only the sound of his voice, "How do you even call yourself a man?"

"Shut up and come to the bio lab! Unless you're too scared!" Vega goaded back.

"Come back here you little bastard!" Ranma's eyes were slowly adjusting to the dimness; already, she could make out Vega's silhouette in the dark, "You're not getting away from me that easily!"

"Argh! You stupid slut! I know your name is Ranma, and it'll only be a matter of time before I hunt you down!" Vega snarled as he ran, at this moment, he'd like nothing more than to break that damn girl in half, "Just you watch, I'll – Ooof!"

"Ooof!" Ranma echoed as a large and bulky body crushed over her – she had been closer to Vega than she thought, "Ahh!"

Vega, having probably bumped into someone, had suddenly stopped in his run, and Ranma bumped into him from behind.

"Hey!" A familiar voice said in irritation, "Watch where you're going young man, there's no running in the hallway – especially when the lights are off."

"Uh no…" Ranma heard Vega mutter under his breath, Ranma couldn't see who Vega had ran into, nor could she tell by the voice just who it was, but Vega obviously could and did, "Headmaster Talleyrand sir, I'm terribly sorry." He sounded almost sincere.

Ranma, hidden behind Vega (technically crushed underneath), saw a shadowy outline of Talleyrand extending a hand to Vega and pull him up – he himself had somehow kept his balance against the bulky Vega.

"Hmm?" Talleyrand obviously noticed the poor girl crushed into the floor, "Are you okay, young man?" In the dark, Talleyrand had no idea he was talking to a girl….But all that was soon fixed.

Space Here

"…And as for you," Talleyrand, clearly annoyed as he gestured toward Vega, "We'll discuss the disciplinary punishment for you tomorrow, you're dismissed for now."

Vega, shame-faced and red from the scolding a moment ago, turned and walked out with his tail between his legs – but not before sneaking a menacing glare at Ranma and Spice. Underneath his breath – so silent that Ranma could barely hear him as he slipped past, he utter nastily, "Just you watch Ranma Saotome - if that's indeed your name – I'll find your weakness and soon you shall bow before me, girl!" He then slipped out into the hallway; the door shut behind him

"Now…" Talleyrand turned to the two girls who sat nervously in his office, and with an equivocal tone of both amusement and irritation, "What are we going to do about you two…I think an explanation regarding why two teenage girls – who, might I add, strikingly resemble two of our students – is stalking my school in the dead of night." He eyed the two girls sternly.

Spice, having recovered from oblivions a few minutes ago, stared at the floor, her hair obstructing her face. She sat quiet and brooding, averting both Ranma's and Talleyrand's gaze. She was still as beautiful as ever, but Ranma couldn't help but notice that there was none of that familiar Spicy energy – Spice seemed to almost be silently despairing. This certainly didn't seem like the Spice Ranma knew.

Ranma sighed, _well, they were going to find out one way or another…_"Well," Ranma begin, "I'm…actually, I'll show you – do you have some hot water?"

Talleyrand pointed toward the little open spot between his ebony bookshelf and a wall, where a rather exotic elephant water-cooler, the ears served as water switches while the trunk served as the faucet, hummed gently on its pedestal.

Ranma picked up a nearby cup, and Talleyrand soon found the very poorly dressed red-haired girl that stood next to the elephant water cooler was suddenly replaced by a familiar Japanese boy – who despite having his hair unbound from the pigtail – was nevertheless "Ranma Saotome!" Talleyrand's eyes widened, but beyond that he showed little other signs of surprise, "Well, who would've thought!"

Ranma nodded and craned his neck slightly – it felt good being a boy again; no more dragging weight on the chest, no more shorter arms and legs, no more weird thoughts flowing through his mind. "Yeah," Ranma spoke up, it was his old voice, his strong, manly, and dependable voice, "It's a long story, but that's my curse – I must live with that wretched girl body when cold water is poured on me."

Once again, Talleyrand's eyes widened, "You don't say!" He paused, "I read about these body-changing curses when I was studying physical-biology in Cambridge back in 95!"

Reflexively, Ranma piped up, his eyes sparkled in hope, "So, just what causes these changes? Is there a cure?"

Talleyrand shrugged, "Whoa, don't get your hopes up, I was studying bio, yes, but I read about your curse in a highly comical manga by Rumiko Takahashi…You've heard of Rumiko Takahashi?

"Ugh," Ranma groaned, this Talleyrand was into way too many things. Ranma shook his head nonchalantly, "Can't say, I don't read manga or watch anime."

"Well you should, it's great fun…" Talleyrand said with cheer, but seeing the cool expression on Ranma's face and Spice's lack thereof (her face was hidden behind a cascade of her raven black hair), suddenly changed subject, "But about this curse…" Talleyrand turned toward Spice, who had been quite invisible, "You must be Michael/Spice…"

Spice sat pale and nervous in the plush chair next to Ranma. She had been strangely quiet since she had awakened; she apparently preferred to hang her head in shame. She said nothing, only nodded her head slightly.

"Oui…" Talleyrand, when in troubling situations, allowed showed a bit of French-ness, "Two girls at an all-boys' academy," He reflected dully, "Well…considering what happened earlier, I guess it's my fault having applicants fill out the 'sex' column on an honor system…In any case, this doesn't leave me many options, but I suppose I have no choice…" Talleyrand looked to Ranma and Spice for dramatic effect.

Spice tensed at Talleyrand's words, she swallowed nervously.

Ranma, on the other hand, was seizing this opportunity to the fullest, "So you're expelling us? If that's the case, can you write some sorta recommendation letter to my old school? Because I can't stay here! I'm a girl – in an all-boys' school. And you should let me go unless you like law suits and stuff." Ranma couldn't believe he didn't think about pulling the girl-card the first time Talleyrand called him in – but, better late than never!

Talleyrand shrugged, but before he could answer, Spice suddenly spoke up (more like burst into tears), the note of supplication blatantly strongly in her pleading voice, "Please, Headmaster, don't expel me, I'm a girl now, but I'm also a boy…and I've been good ever since I first came here!" Then, as if suddenly remembering she shouldn't be yelling pathetically in front of the principle, Spice toned down her voice and said rather quietly, "I'm sorry…but, please sir, don't kick me out…I can't go back _there_." By this point, Spice's eyes were brimming with crystal tears, and she blinked repeatedly to hold them off. Self-consciously, she turned away suddenly from Ranma – she didn't want Ranma to see her all weak and mellow.

Ranma eyed Spicy with amazement laced with curiosity; Ranma himself had never burst into tears in front of anyone (he was a man!) and therefore didn't think anyone – much the usually cheery and happy Spice – would burst into tears right out in public over seemingly nothing too spectacular or dramatic. Ranma made a mental note to ask Spice about this meeting as well as her past later.

Talleyrand too eyed Spice, but instead of flagrant amazement and insolent curiosity, his eyes glowed with soft sympathy and understanding. In a voice far too soft for his gruff and rugged exterior, Talleyrand said, "Don't worry Spice, it won't be that bad, I'm -"

Ranma rudely interrupted in excitement, "So you're really going to let us go?" Because if so, then being turned into a girl and captured by a large group of horny guys would've been the best thing to happen to him since getting here!

"Out of the question, Ranma." Talleyrand crushed Ranma's hopes with a smirk, "You're not going back until we've squeezed the tuition fee out of you." Then he added quite casually, "Besides, this lame fic will be cut significantly shorter and probably lamer if you just got up and left."

"Oh…" Ranma had a distinct impression Talleyrand had a particularly cruel habit of crushing people's hopes.

Paradoxically, Spice brightened up a bit at that, "So…Headmaster, does that mean you won't expel me?"

"Why would I?" Talleyrand smiled caringly at Spice, "I brought you and your friend Tategami here didn't I?" Then, more sternly, "Though I had hoped you'd be more honest with me and been more open about who you are."

Spice turned away, "I'm sorry…but I was afraid you were going to leave me at my village if you knew about my secret…"

"I would've brought you out either way – what they did to you there is far too distant from civility," He said with a stern look at Spice, who cringed and drew her knees up to her chest in her chair. Talleyrand seemed ready to say more to comfort Spice, but upon seeing the befuddled and impatient look on Ranma's face, decided to address the both of them instead, "In any case, since the both of you are at least half-boys, you two will both be staying at this school (not to mention the fact that your tuition fees haven't been covered yet). And to hopefully avoid your secrets leaking out and boys sneaking in under your sheets at night," Ranma and Spice both felt a spasm of chill run down their spines at that horrible situation, "I'll have your rooms switched so that you two are roommates. And since water temperature is the catalyst that changes your sex, which," Talleyrand pointed out, "I've been curious, what happens if you step into lukewarm water? Just who decides how 'hot' the water needs to be?" Seeing the confused the expressions on the two's faces, he went on, "But I digress – I guess you two will have to shower in the staff shower rooms from now on, I'll have the keys ready for you two tomorrow in homeroom."

Spice, significantly more cheerful now, smiled charmingly and thanked the principle.

Ranma was considerably less pleased, feebly he tried, "But what about law suits…"

Talleyrand scoffed, "You watch too much American television – it's a bit different here in Aulis. Actually, it's best for you to stay in this school. Do you know what will happen when the government scientists take an interest in your biology?"

Ranma shook his head.

"Take my word for it – it's not much different from tentacle hentai."

Fortunately, Ranma would never confirm the truthfulness of Talleyrand's words.

Space Here

…

…

"There's only one bed in this room…" Ranma shot the elephant in the room (figure of speech deriving from the old "elephant in room" aphorism) and broke the silence that had built between the two since they stepped into their bedroom together.

"Yeah…" Spice, who was a boy now, agreed, but said nothing more.

"What was that old man Talleyrand thinking?" Ranma said awkwardly – as it was always awkward talking to someone who didn't want to talk. "Well, at least he gave us a water cooler/heater," Ranma pointed toward the machine by the window.

The topmost floor of the residential building was originally designed to accommodate the teachers, principle, dean, administrators, and whatever else staff member that could work at the school, but since nowadays all the teachers had their own homes and preferred to commute to work, the topmost staff room and showers simply became a visitor area. Normally, the average students rarely used these topmost rooms – preferring their own assigned rooms on lower floors – but the case of Ranma and Spice was quite special. The room that was to be Ranma and Spice's residence was little different from the many other rooms in the school's dorms. It was by no means large and spacious, yet it was somehow big enough to be comfortable. One of the main comforts was, of course, convenience, located on the topmost floor of the dorms building, the "girls'" bedroom was right next to the staff showers – to minimize ogling from perverts.

Inside the room, a plain wooden desk sat underneath a plain glass window where a streak of plain cool moonlight cut in and fell into a rather roomy closet. And in the center of it all, was a large (queen-sized) mattress – though, judging by its hardness, might as well have been a rock slab. The bed was big enough so that two girls (or a boy and a girl, but that's just not happening) could sleep on it comfortably (or as comfortably as sleeping on stone slabs could be), but if two boys slept on it, one of them was bound to get shoved to the floor.

"Argh!" Ranma growled, getting the message, "that stocky old pervert Talleyrand…trying to force us to sleep together as girls…"

Spice piped up at that and rose to Talleyrand's defense, "Don't say that Ranma! It's probably just coincidence, Talleyrand's a good guy! Plus he's old, so why would it even matter to him what we do as girls?"

"Meh," Ranma shrugged, "I know an old pervert when I see one." Unbidden, memories of Happosai feeling her up crept disgustingly into Ranma's mind, sending shivers down his spine. _Hehe, I wonder how Akane's going to deal with him without me_, he mused, but quickly returned to present time.

Spice said nothing, and once again, the two of them lapsed into awkward silence.

"So…" Ranma tried again, breaking the silence, "I guess you know my secret now…and I know yours."

"Yeah…" Spice was still being introverted.

Irritated, Ranma asked, "Jeez, what's wrong with you? Being all quiet like this! This isn't like you!"

Spice sighed, and sat down on the bed, "You really want to know Ranma? It's really kinda stupid…"

"What is it?" Ranma asked sincerely, trying to be nice.

"I…" Spice faltered, "I…"

"What?" Ranma sat down next to Spice.

"You saw me as a girl…" Spice said rather lamely.

Ranma waited to see if Spice would say more, but he didn't, "That's it? So what? You saw me as a girl too! And you even tried to pressure me into becoming one!"

"I know it's stupid…but still…"

"What's so bad about being a girl?" Ranma couldn't believe he was saying that – of all people, he should know – but situations as these rarely contain sufficient time for reasoning, "Just what's the big deal?"

"You wouldn't understand…" Spice looked out the window for the dramatic lost-in-memories pose.

Ranma snorted, "Idiot! I'd probably be the only one who would understand, I have the same curse you do!"

"No you don't, you're really a boy, Ranma." Spice said defensively.

"That's technically Ranma ½, I'm 'Ranko' the other half." Ranma smirked at his own wit, then he added, "I was thrown into the nuanchuan by my dumb pop, remember? Just tell me!"

"Oh never-mind! It's nothing, just forget it! I have homework I haven't finished yet." Spice turned away and found his way to the desk, a math book soon made its way out of Spice's luggage bag and onto the desk – signaling the end of the conversation. "Argh! Did I leave my duffle bag with Varnie?" He muttered to himself.

Ranma didn't like signals, "Oh c'mon stop being so lame! Can't you even trust another girl?" Ranma had been intensely curious about just what was the deal with Spice, and now, at the most opportune moment, he was going to worm it out.

"What's the _nth_ derivative of r times e to rx power?" Spice twirled a pencil about his fingers.

"I know," Ranma ignored Spice's question (though he knew the answer to be r to the n plus one power times e to the rx power), instead, using the water cooler, Ranma changed himself to a girl, "There, does this help? Can you tell me now?"

Spice didn't even turn around, "No, busy. What should I use to substitute for secant squared x in this equation?"

"So how did you become a boy anyway?" Ranma bounced about around Spice asking no end of questions much to the chagrin of Spice's patience.

"How did you get that scar on your cheek?"

"How come your hair doesn't change color when you become a girl or a boy?"

"How come even as a boy you're so girly?"

"Are my boobs bigger than yours?"

"Do you ever visit your family back in Junsenkyo?"

"What were you crying about when Talleyrand almost expelled us?"

"Shut up!" Spice snapped in irritation as he spun around and flung an eraser for Ranma.

"Haha! You missed," Ranma stuck her tongue out at Spice, "You throw like a girl!"

"Gosh Ranma! Why do you care so much? And I wasn't crying!"

"Yeah you were crying! I saw you blinking back tears! Besides, why did _you_ care so much back there – you know, when you practically jumped out of corners to turn me into a girl," Ranma countered.

"Stop being such a jerk Ranma!" Spice said under his breath, then to Ranma, "I was curious! I wanted to know what your curse was because…" Spice's voice trailed off.

"Because…?" Ranma prompted, but, hearing no answer forthcoming, placed in her own assumptions, "because you were secretly hoping I would be cursed to be half-girl too?"

Spice balked, but managed to scoff out, "no" anyways. Then, more firmly, "Look, stop bothering me! Go sleep or something! I hafta finish my math homework."

Ranma was feeling none of Spice's irritation, impeccably she joked, "I can't; what if you need a shoulder to cry on? Or what if you sudden go pervert on me and take advantage of me when I'm asleep?"

Spice felt his face burn at Ranma's taunting words; it was bad enough he had almost cried in front of Ranma and Talleyrand, but just why does Ranma have to be such a jackass about it? Spice nevertheless managed to rein back his emotions, and in a most uninterested tone, he said, "I won't; I'm not Vega."

"Speaking of Vega," a mental image of the detestable red-clad boy/man came to mind; Ranma shuddered, "What are you going to do now? He's probably knows your secret too!"

Spice turned around at that, "What do you mean what am _I _going to do? Don't you mean what are _we_ going to do? Yeah, don't look so surprised, he may be as ugly as a butthole and a total jackass, but he's not stupid – especially since he'll be out for revenge soon. He'll know about you as soon as he sees you, I bet."

"Well, Vega knocked you unconscious when I did it, but I could beat him down any day." Ranma boasted confidently, "Besides, I didn't even fight him when I was a guy! If I could beat him as a girl…"

"He'll come up with something; he did for me at least, otherwise I would've pounded him flat," Spice said, picking up the pieces of shattered pride, "I'll totally rip him a new one the next time I fight him."

"Idiot!" Ranma's casual language – which consisted of put-downs and derogatory remarks, was discreetly slipping in, "He had you pinned to a wall and you couldn't even defend yourself! Next time leave the Vega-fighting to me!"

Spice glared at Ranma, his eyes narrowed slightly in annoyance, "So you think you're so tough, huh, Ranma?"

"Yeah, Ranma Saotome doesn't lose," Ranma quickly added, "in a fair fight," as the memory of Kel's cheap tricks came to mind (the Talleyrand/XYZ Affair was ignored in its entirety).

"Oh really?" Spice, completely wheeled around in his chair and facing Ranma now, left his differential equations to cobwebs and spiders, "Well, I guess I'll be your first then!"

"Bring it!" Ranma was about to say that, but Spice had already pounced from his seat before the words could slip out of Ranma's lips. The only thing that prevented Spice from tackling Ranma onto the bed was Ranma incredibly quick reflexes and lightning fast speed.

"Oof," Spice crashed into the stone-slab of a bed, knocking the air out of his lungs.

"Haha! You slow poke!" Ranma once again made a face at Spice as she whirled about in evasion toward the water cooler.

"God Ranma," Irritation blew out of Spice like heat from a back-draft explosion, "Why are you being such an arrogant jerk?"

"Well why are you being so mysterious and introverted?" Ranma shot back.

"It's none of your business!" Spice cried back and sprang at Ranma like a tiger, "C'mon flattie, my fists have something to say to your face!"

"Flattie?" The insult took a short second to sink in, but when it did, Ranma was immediately furious, "Shut up! I'm built a hundred times better than you!" Evading Spice's lunge once again, Ranma magically produced a resilient polystyrene plastic (Styrofoam) cup out of thin air and filled it with hot water from the water cooler, "Well, cry-baby? Who's cuter now?" She said as she poured the hot water on the recovering Spice, who promptly became a girl.

"Hey! You jerk! This shirt is dry-clean only!" Indeed, Spice's white blouse seemed to be too fine a quality to be simply laundry-machine-toss-able.

"Well, too baa- Oof!" Ranma didn't even finish her sentence before Spice rebounded and tackled into Ranma. The two girls stumbled backwards until the both of them fell, Spice atop Ranma, onto the bed.

Before Ranma could push her way out of this increasingly erotic situation, Spice's supple and firm fingers groped onto Ranma's breasts. "See flattie!" Spice said as she straddled atop Ranma, "Who's built better now?"

"Shut up! Let's see how big you are then!" Ranma reached up ripped open Spice's blouse – buttons went flying, "There's just no way you could be bustier than…Oh…"

"Ha! I told you I was built…" But Spice's victorious gloat while she sat straddled atop Ranma was interrupted.

And as with all interruptions, this one occurred at the worst moment possible. If Varnie had come in but a second earlier, he would've found Ranma and Spice – both as boys, doing nothing too special. Or if he came in a few seconds later, when Ranma and Spice would've resolved their conflict, Varnie wouldn't have seen the two girls in their most erotic poses. But of course, life never works the way Ranma wants it to.

"Yo Spice! You forgot to take your duffle bag with…" Varnie, who stood at the door with Spice's purple duffle bag (which Spice used to hold everything from deodorant to swim suits), was in for quite a shock when his ogling eyes ogled up the two girls on the bed.

Ranma followed Spice's shocked gaze, and indeed by the doorway stood a wide-eyed and staring Varnie and an extremely amused Talleyrand. Varnie seemed to be in shock, his hands, face, neck, everything seemed pale – as if all the blood had been drained from them (and guess into where…). Talleyrand, on the other hand, stood by the doorway, a freakish expression of amusement and interest lingered on his aged face.

Ranma didn't know how long the four of them stared at each other – she could only feel her face growing in rosy redness (Spice was doing the same). Which was understandable considering the situation which Spice and Ranma had found themselves in. Two girls, especially those whose annoyed cries were heard by every passersby (fortunately only Talleyrand and Varnie), were generally an item of curiosity. Mixed in with the fact that sounds of scuffling could be heard through the door, the entire situation was simply begging to be inspected by curious males. And now, Spice, whose blouse was ripped open and her busty breasts blatantly in plain sight, sat atop of Ranma with her hands tightly squeezing Ranma's own chest – it was a scene straight out of Varnie's wet dreams.

This would explain the total blood-drain paleness on the dazed boy.

Talleyrand, being older and French thus probably accustomed to such flagrant weirdness, was significantly less speechless, "Don't mind us; continue with what you two were doing."

Talleyrand's words shattered the spell on the two girls, and Spice, in a sudden flight of self-consciousness, covered her chest and quickly got off of Ranma.

At the same time, Ranma and Spice both said, "Wait, it's not what it looks like!"

"Don't mind us!" Talleyrand said with freaky cheer, "I'm just here to drop off your shower room keys," Indeed, he held up two pairs of keys which he then promptly tossed onto the bed, "You _girls_ try not to get the sheets too dirty!"

"But…I thought you were going to give us the keys tomorrow…" Spice, lacking a decent comeback, said lamely.

Talleyrand ignored Spice and turned to Varnie, who was still clutching the purple duffle bag in shock, with a smirk, "C'mon sonny, drop off the bag and let those two have their private fun time."

Varnie did as he was beckoned, but continued to stare at Spice and Ranma. Ranma had a distinct haunting chill run up and down her spine when Varnie's eyes took her in – she was more than sure the pervert was undressing her in his mind.

Suddenly annoyed, Ranma got off the bed and stomped over to the door with words of annoyance on her lips, "Gawd! Stopping staring you pervert! We're two girls! Get your heads out of the gutter!" With that, she slammed the door shut in their faces. Turning to Spice, Ranma asked furiously, "What the hell? You're were the last one in, why didn't you lock the door, genius?"

"Oh my god…" Spice ignored Ranma's rant, she was still reeling from the shock and embarrassment of being seen topless by the headmaster and the school pervert, "That…didn't just happen…"

"What?"

"I…"

"What?"

"Now…Even…"

"Oh god, not this routine again; just say it!"

"Now…even Varnie knows my secret!" Spice said, recovering from shock and humiliation, she found herself suddenly angry, "And it's all because of you Ranma! Before you got here, everyone thought I was just a normal boy! And now half the school has seen me as a girl! You just had to pour that hot water on me, didn't you? What if Varnie tells huh? Ranma, you insensitive jerk!" Spice's eyes glinted dangerously, a certain dangerous glow radiated from her body – if this had been a video game, the announcer would've just declared "Nuclear Launch Detected."

"Whoa!" Ranma backed up against the door, a bead of nervousness sweated down her brow; Ranma wasn't afraid of much, but right now, she definitely did _not_ like that expression on Spice's face right now, "Take it easy Spice, stop making that face – it's scary. It's not all my fault anyways! I mean you're pretty girly even for a boy – I mean, who cries so easily? So everyone would've known eventually!"

"Well, Ranma," Spice said with dangerous calm, which, for a brief second, almost deceived Ranma into believing her cheesy excuse worked, "There's nothing girly about what I'm about to do to you! Prepare to die, Saotome!" Spice took Ryoga's old battle cry before leaping straight for Ranma's throat.

"Eeek!"

No one got any sleep that night. Through all the pounding, thumping, and people being thrown against walls, it was a surprise the school didn't think it was suddenly under siege. Ranma hardly got any sleep that night, but Spice had it worse, she didn't even get to finish her math homework – which was due the next day (Spice, like all students, procrastinates).

Consequently, when the morning's sun rolled over the horizon and another school day began, the math teacher nearly exploded in rage. Not only did that student he never liked – Spice – not do his homework, but also was caught falling asleep in class. Naturally, the teacher sent the boy to stand outside in the hallway where, coincidentally, Ranma was also serving punishment for dozing in class – trouble thus ensued. Spice, of course, took her anger out (or tried to at least) on Ranma later in the day during sparring, and Ranma simply retorted to annoying Spice during the night. Fortunately, at least, Varnie had said nothing about to anyone about the girly secret of Ranma and Spice – at least, not yet (he's planning something).

And so the days, filled with class and business, passed. The nights, filled with the two girls (either of which were quiet sleepers) practically waging a war in their sleep and waking up to find themselves in all sorts of strange positions, too passed. Ranma soon found her/himself integrated into Spartan society, Ranma was even beginning to like the Spartan life – sure it was harsh and challenging, but Ranma thrived on challenge and difficulty. Ranma probably would've actually enjoyed himself had it not been for the fact that Spice was at his throat, Varnie at her pants, and Vega trying to pry into both. Not to mention being only half-boy in a boy's world and that troubling and gnawing issue to having to pay off some three million yen in tuition fee to the school.

Author's Notes: Phew! Okay, that's the end of the first "adventure" in the fic, now we can hopefully move onto more exciting items (because, let's face it, up until now, it had pretty much been the obligatory character introductions and settings establishing). Now that we've somewhat "settled down," its time to shake things up again – fortunately, I have plenty of whacky ideas as to what could happen along the way in this story to cumulate into the final chapter. Let me issue this warning now – pay attention, there are certain details and seemingly dull items that will lead to major plot twists and whatnot in the future.

Ignore the part about the XYZ affair, I could resist putting that in (since I am taking US history AP this year). Either way, this chapter is quite critical in establishing Spice's role in certain parts of the story – honestly, I was never going to have it all cute and fluffy between Spice and Ranma (mostly because either of them are the soft and gentle kind). Obviously, Varnie and Vega will both play an important part in the story (which can't be good for the two girls). My only regret is Ami's awkward exit – she has a part in the story, but I just had to get rid of her in this scene. For the record, Spice and Ranma are technically both attractive, but just who is more attractive is still controversial. Oh, and correct me if I'm wrong, but Ranma is a virgin right?


	9. The Ploy

Chapter Nine: The Ploy

Now, the Spartan school library was large, very large, enormous – it was Talleyrand's pride and joy. It was a five-storied building across the street from the school filled top to bottom with tall wooden shelves each of which in turn were filled with all sorts of books, books on cassettes, books on CDs, etc. According to rumor, the library contained all the books Talleyrand himself had, in his childhood as a boy in France, wanted to read but was denied the opportunity (as well as other, regular, books). And Talleyrand, not wanting to deny others what was denied him, had decided to invest a large portion of his personal fortune for the construction and collection (but not maintenance, which the city paid for because Talleyrand turned the library public as a sign of welcome).

Normally, the library, though never exactly boisterous and rowdy, was full with browsing book-nerds, but tonight, a Friday night, there was only one person still sitting – alone – at a table.

The boy, clad in a simple but formal red suit, seemed too big and buff to be the type that would spend countless hours browsing through books; he seemed like the type that'd be out playing ball or hitting on girls or getting into fights – at least, according the librarian's opinion, who stared at the boy with an expression between admiration and amazement.

Glancing at his watch – it was already ten minutes after the normal closing time – the librarian, an elderly gentleman with a keen love for books and writing, whistled in surprise. That red-clad boy had been in the library since noon – presumably after he finished all his classes – and now, at 10:10 in the night, he still sat at the very table as he did ten hours ago studying, researching, and note-taking without a single break in-between.

All this dedication, of course, reminded the elderly librarian of his own book-loving youth, only, his studying hours had always been disrupt by a drunken father who insisted that books are better for keeping the furnace going then for reading. Consequently, the elderly librarian had no desire to disrupt anyone from what they knew to be important…but it was getting late, and he should go home.

Grabbing a small box of crackers, the elderly man walked over the boy still studying at the table, "Here son," He began, laying the small box of crackers on the table.

The boy looked up from his book. The boy was, by any standard, excessively pretty or handsome – he obviously wasn't going to waltz through life on his looks. But there was a certain ambitious light in his eyes that gave the elderly man a sense that this boy was destined to do something great – for good or evil.

"It's not much, but you're probably pretty hungry." The elderly man said with a smile, "I'm going to have to lock-up the library and go home now, but I'd hate to just kick you out like this so if you can promise to lock up the library for me when you're done, you can stay."

The boy obviously agreed to the plan, and the librarian left the place for home leaving Vega to munch on some crackers and browse through his books. Of course, the librarian probably would've never given Vega anything – and probably would've kicked him out on the streets early – if he knew what Vega was reading – and no, it wasn't hentai. It was something more dark, more evil, something Vega wanted to do for a long time.

"Hmm? Extraction ritual?" Vega mused to himself as his eyes scanned the rest of the book (he developed a habit of taking to himself as was necessary for the archetypal bad-guy).

…_Another well-known form of the purging/purification process is known as the virgin extraction ritual (the term was coined by the 18th century seducer Giovanni Casanova, who was reputedly to have taken the virginities of over seven hundred girls). Although it lacks the efficiency and simplicity of the bloodbath extraction method, it is nevertheless used more often as it proves more sexually satisfying as well as more legally feasible (figure: 32-a shows a comparison of the two). (The exact requirements and procedures of the virgin extraction process are outlined in Appendix: A). Both methods generally produce the same results – one vessel body with the desired attributes, and the "sacrificial vessel" containing all the undesired attributes (this is, of course, not applicable to the bloodbath method as the sacrificed subject has been fully sacrificed and thus dead). One should note, however, there has, so far, been no method to reverse either one of the extraction processes…_

"Ha, that Talleyrand was right!" Vega smirked, "Everything _is_ possible…But who should I use…? Ahh, I'll decide that later, I need to find out how first!" He continued reading through the night…sure the process was somewhat disturbing…but it was also somewhat erotic…at least to Vega's tastes.

Space Here

Aulis was by no means exclusively a modern city – its roots stretch far into the history of years. Rivaled only by the historical prowess of cities like Rome, Kaifeng, Kyoto, Jerusalem, and Cairo, Aulis's history dates back multiple centuries. Ever since the legendary Chief Dracos over two thousand years ago plunged his feathered imperial staff into the banks of the River Sticks and set up camp for his band of weary hunters, civilization has taken root and sprung up along the river. Of course, the river wasn't known as the Sticks River then – that was a more modern termed coined by the ancient Romans Legionaries when they noticed the annual inundation of useless brown tree branches that accumulated on the banks of the river – it was known by another name, which didn't matter – for, as a famous poet once said, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

And what a rose of a city it was! Though it originated out of a gathering of hunters, the city grew and matured to be, even in the ancient days, a center of culture and art. Even in the years before the Christ when men elsewhere grunted at each other and sniffed at crotches like dogs, Aulisians were weaving the first notes of music, musing over the first ballads of poetry, hewing the first statues of marble. In the ancient days, according to modern archeology at least, the streets were paved with cobbler stones; the buildings hewn out of white marble; the river sparkled with dancing fish and fishermen (who had a distinct predilection toward dead and salted fish). It was a city of beauty and splendor, wonder and magic, at a time when apes danced about monoliths.

The most spectacular and even somewhat magical aspect of ancient Aulis was, without competition, _στο ναό της Ίσιδας πέφτω λαχείο, _or as the archeologists calls it, Temple of the Multicolored Marble Gods. Legend has it that Chief Dracos, while defending his fledging town from the threats of wildness and barbarians, died in a battle against a particular fierce band of barbarians. With his dying breathe, he prayed to whatever gods that lived in the river that Aulis would withstand the winds of time and fate. With his blood flowing freely from the many cuts about him, Chief Dracos hurled himself into the Sticks River, soaking it red with his blood. The gods of the river answered his plea in a most unheard-of fashion; the barbarians, who thought themselves victorious, began to wade across a ford in the river to rape and pillage the early Aulisian town, at that moment, a series of sticks whose size ranged from minor branches to an entire tree trunk, flushed by and whacked the barbarians into the depth with the dead chief. To honor the dead chief, the tribesmen supposedly built a bridge over the ford (which is rather redundant) and adorned it, first with an alter, then with flowers, marble walls, etc. until a beautiful temple rose atop that section of the river. But of course, that's simply a legend, as the temple had long since crashed and sunk to the bottom of the river due to floods, earthquakes, etc.

Truth or bedtime story, it proved to be rather effectively. Rather it was the sheer beauty of the city or Chief Dracos's protective spirit, Aulis never found itself destroyed. Even when the warmongering and pugnacious Roman Legions stormed the city hell-bent on capturing its riches, instead found their hearts captivated by the beauty of the city, and decided to simply Romanize the city (such as building amphitheaters) so they could make it a Roman province. It seemed nothing could destroy Aulis, as indeed, nothing did. Even when Genghis Khan wrecked much of the world in his conquering, he left Aulis as it is. As did Attila the Hun. As did everything and everyone else. The only thing that _did_ mar the marble city was the Earthquake of 606 AD (which did quite a bit of damage but prompted the need to modernize).

Naturally, Aulis, despite being ridiculously modern, still held within its heart the essence of the past. While freeways, subways, monorails, and cable cars cover the city, the old marble steps, the old narrower roads still exist to add the mixture of stony tradition to steeled contemporary. While skyscrapers reached the stars with beams of metal and sheets of glass, columns and offices of marble and wood grace the city with classical purity. The city was nothing short of wondrous magic and pristine beauty.

Unfortunately, much of this wonderfulness went unnoticed by the pouting red-haired pigtailed girl as she stomped – alone – down the very aforementioned marbled paved streets. Her red flaming pigtailed hair, wet from being splashed by cold water, bounced angrily against the back of her Chinese-styled blouse (the major difference from a Western blouse being that a Chinese one buttoned on the side instead of down the center). While being pissed tends to tarnish the beauty of any other girl, with this one, it only seemed to enhance her cute poutiness; certainly, the fact that the lingering eyes of the passing street-browser and curious shop-owner on the cute little girl proved this fact.

But this girl didn't notice that either.

No, Ranma Saotome was decidedly and exclusively enraged, "Stupid Spice," she muttered to herself, "Stupid Ms. Ying, can't believe she'd pick _that_ girl/guy for the job instead of me – I'm a hundred times better than her!"

It was bad enough that Spice was chosen for the Chemistry Lab assistant position, which Ranma practically lusted after – mere mention of it made her breath quicken and prompted the need for her to change panties (it was a cushy and easy way to assist in making the tuition money), but just why did she have to gloat like that? Sure, Ranma hadn't been very nice or polite to Spice since that day a week ago when they both discovered each other's secret sexes – Ranma beat up on Spice a couple of times during sparring sessions with the martial arts team, but that's still no reason for Spice to insult Ranma like that!

On the other hand,

Spices had, after hearing Ranma blab and nag all morning about how he'll improve his chemistry grade and defeat Spice at her own game by stealing the assistant position from under her, seriously contemplated clubbing Ranma unconscious like a baby seal and crushing him underneath their hard mattress. She was well within reason too, back in the good old pre-Ranma days, no one – not even the stoutest of warriors – _dared_ wake Spice from her Saturday morning beauty sleep (Spartan students generally stay up late during the weekdays because of excessive studying and homework).

But Ranma, that stupid red-haired girl, was up and bouncing about on the bed as early as seven spewing dastardly bravado into Spice's face, "Hey, how about we fight for the position? If I win, you give me the job! And if you win…"

"Go away, sleeping," Spice mumbled.

"C'mon Spice, you scared?" Ramna continued her (neither Spice nor Ranma wanted to risk sleeping together as two boys or – god forbid – a boy-girl pair) bouncing, pouting, and general ruckus making.

"No. Tired. Sleep." Spice, too sleepy to even use sentences, turned away from Ranma.

But Ranma was everywhere, and she even had the balls – err, lack thereof (oh my god, corny) – to start rudely shaking Spice and bouncing on top of her, "C'mon, are you chickening out again? We'll duel for the job!"

"Ugh…" Spice groaned without energy, "Stop…that…"

"Whatever," Ranma got off of Spice, and the bed stopped shaking, for a brief second, Spice was almost ready to pray to the gods in thanks until Ranma's boy voice shattered the remnants of her sleep, "I'll meet you down in the field by 7:15, don't be late! We'll fight there! Don't be late."

Annoyed and moody, Spice turned to face Ranma, murderous irritation building up inside her, "Ugh, Ranma, give it up already! I'm not going to fight you for – Oh god Ranma! Why did you take it off? Put on some clothe!" Spice immediately averted her eyes as they fell upon a practically naked boy Ranma – a piece of holey cloth that might've been boxers at one point (boys were such messy pigs!) was all that covered him, a brief tingle of fear shivered down her spine and she instinctively clung the covers tighter over her.

"What's wrong? Do I turn you on?" Ranma teased, and despite the fact that Spice wasn't even looking, Spice knew that Ranma was probably flexing his muscles. When he was done, he said, "It's not like I'm naked right now! Besides, I'm not going to ruin my pajamas fighting with you." He said matter-of-factly, "There, I'm done changing, you can look now."

"Okay Ranma, I know you're dense, so I'm going to say this slowly," Spice once again turned to Ranma, this time, her voice was considerably louder and slower, not to mention seriously irritated, "I. AM. NOT. GOING. TO. FIGHT. YOU."

"Fine, make fun of me now, but when I beat you down and take your job, we'll see who is laughing then!" Ranma filled up a small cup with cold water from their frequently used water cooler and advanced upon Spice, "Now, hurry up and change to a boy so I can defeat you and take that assistant position. Besides, I need it more than you, you even said you already have a job! I haven't even paid a cent of my tuition yet!" This was a big deal because Talleyrand had his ways – none of which were pleasant – to apply pressure.

"God Ranma! I've been trying to get this position forever!" Impatiently, Spice threw the warm and comfy sheets off of her and stomped out of bed toward Ranma.

In the course of night, which had been ridiculously hot, Spice (and Ranma) had been periodically removing articles of clothing and tossing them onto the floor (their room was horribly messy because it was strewn with mildly sweaty pieces of clothing). Spice, in her irritation and impatience, seemed to have forgotten just how little she was still wearing. Certainly a pair of panties and a rather tight matching nightshirt (especially since Spice's nightshirt was silken and thus not exactly opaque) didn't leave much of Spice's shapely body to imagination. Ranma, who was a boy now, no doubt wanted more than just imagining. And despite being half-girl himself, one good look at Spice's practically naked body sent teenage boy hormones raging throughout Ranma's blood stream. Spice's soft skin, her busty chest, her slim lithe body acted like a group of mental bullies and corner the book-nerds of Ranma's sensibility, reason, and wit into a mental corner and pounded them all flat before blasting them out of Ranma's brain and out through his nose in an explosive nose-bleed – he was a total staring idiot by this point.

Spice was oblivious to Ranma's hormones and her own boobs and whatnot beating up Ranma's mentality, but she was aware of the blatant ogling, which annoyed Spice even more. Furiously, Spice snatched the cup of cold water from Ranma's hands, "Hey, eyes up here!" Spice grabbed Ranma – which only made Ranma more shifty and nervous – and dragged him to the window, "Listen, I told you last night not to wake me this morning…but you did…Do you know what I do to boys like you Ranma?" Though Ranma, as a boy, was taller and bigger than Spice in her girl form, Spice nevertheless managed forcefully shoved him against the wall, although it involved her pressing herself rather close to Ranma.

"Uhh…" Ranma, red as a tomato, shook his head, his eyes, brimming with nervous excitement, lingered on parts of Spice that wasn't her eyes.

For a brief fleeting moment, Spice contemplated toying with Ranma a bit, but in the end her anger and early-morning-moodiness dominated. In a strained calm voice, Spice said, "I'm letting you off easy this time (next time your mom will cry after she hears what I did to you) – but don't _ever_ wake me on Saturday mornings again! Hey! Are you listening to me?" In irritation, Spice splashed the cold water on Ranma, who promptly snapped out the hypnotized stare.

"Hey!" Ranma, freed from boyish idiocy, was now suddenly on par with Spice in terms of self-control, "Why the hell are you dressed so sluttish? Can't beat me in a fair fight? I knew – yow!" In rage, Spice had, in a smooth martial arts technique, hurled Ranma out the nearby window…but not before Ranma grabbed at Spice.

_Rip_

"Argh! You idiot that was a pair! I'm not going to fight you over something I earned on my own! I know it's hard for a no-talent dumb bimbo to find a job that doesn't involve being on her back, but you'll have to!" Spice called after the falling girl, whose facial expression flared between hurt and (the desire to) hurt (Spice).

And that was how Ranma ended up walking alone in the city streets of Aulis early in the morning with vengeance on burning through her throat – Ranma could feel her hands around Spice's neck – and Spice's torn silky nightshirt in her hands – Ranma could feel her hands around Spice's…(Parallel structure is important). _ How dare that Spice say that to me!_ _I'll show her! I'll find a job that pays double what that stupid lab position pays!_ _I'll show her who the no-talent dumb bimbo is!_

It goes without saying that as Ranma stomped down the hill (known as Breed's Hill) on which the Spartan Academy was situated, anger practically puffed out of her like steam out of a tea kettle. The street lamps, walls, and one shiny red Mercedes Benz (which Ranma had often see Vega rushing about town in), were all equally abused by Ranma furious fists attempting to expel the pent up rage in her blood. All the dents, scratches, and entire missing chunks of brick, steel, etc. that Ranma inflicted on various objects on her way down the hill to the city would probably cause no end of annoyance and complaints by city officials and whatnot – but at that point, Ranma didn't care, her only thought was to outdo Spice and show that stupid little girl who is the dumb worthless bimbo – which is Spice.

To add insult to injury, Ranma, having missed breakfast while busy scouring the city, was beginning to feel the tendrils of hunger creep around in her stomach. Of course, Ranma could _always_ just return to the school and catch breakfast and cower in Spice's shadow to wallow in the muck and mire of defeat – but that wouldn't be very Ranma-ish. No, Ranma was determined to outdo Spice at her own game – she was going to find a job and totally destroy that upstart cocky smirk on Spice's face. And if there was any force in the world that was stronger than Ranma's hunger, it would have to be Ranma's determination – Ranma Saotome doesn't lose (especially to whinny girly-boys)!

Unfortunately, Ranma's mastery of the languages used in Aulis, although increasing with exponential speed, was probably insufficient for a conversation with just the random stranger or job interviewer. Coupled with the fact that Ranma never had training in urban survival or financial security, she had no idea where to begin, whom to ask, or even what subtle business things to look for. She was an innocent small town girl in the big city seeking a job (oh god, the trite and over-usage). And as much of a sad fact about humanity as it is, mankind (well, mostly men) always attempts to take advantage of the innocent for his own pleasure (that particular body part sure has its way of causing all sorts of hell!) in the cold and distant big city. Thus, one would expect that Ranma, being the young, cute, and innocent minx she is, would soon find herself lying on her back – and not because she tripped – with someone else on top of her – and not because he tripped either.

That is, had Aulis been like any other major metropolis. No, Aulisians were unequivocally friendly and generally helpful toward all, which would explain the warm smiles on each supposed "strangers'" face as he passed another, the warm morning hails and greetings as they walk by, and whatever else extroverted displays of etiquette normally found in a village of less than five hundred. But, considering Ranma had little idea what they were saying, no amount of friendliness could cover for her ignorance.

Thus, after trekking dozens of miles, browsing dozens of districts, and checking up at numerous bookstores – the closest of which turned out to be an adult bookstores, and though it had potential, it was something Ranma was morally adverse to – which may contain some sort of newspaper or job listing articles or something, Ranma finally tired out and plopped herself down – to consider her next moves and not in hopelessness, as after all, the day was still young – on the steps of a rather small Japanese café – the _Ookami Pan'ya_. She half-expected the owner of the small coffee shop to come running out and chase her away with batting brooms. If that had been the case, Ranma would've, no doubt, used her highly trained speed and pilfered something to eat – Ranma had her eyes on the contents behind the counter inside the shop – before vanishing into thin air to the irritation and befuddlement of the shop-owner.

Indeed, Ranma heard the tell-tale sound of footsteps signifying someone did step out of the shop – Ranma had her back turned to allow for maximum surprise when she springs to attack – and walk toward her, but instead of, "You girl, what are you doing?" or "Get off my steps you dirty female!" or "Move your dirty ass or I'll put a knife through it!" a familiar voice said warmly, "Weren't open yet, but you're more than welcome to come in and sit on something more comfortable than those steps!"

Immediately, Ranma spun around, a gasp on her lips, "Tategami!" She didn't say it loud enough for him to hear. Almost as quickly, Ranma spun back around on the approaching boy, a rosy girlish blush of panic rising to her cheeks, _Oh my god! What's Tategami doing here? Is this the coffee shop that Tategami said he owned? What are the chances? What if he recognizes me? Has he seen me as a girl before? Wait, Tategami did talk about owning a coffee shop – it was suppose to be apart of how he is paying his tuition fee – I can't believe it's this one! _Ranma almost stood up and bolted away, but then, the more calm and dependable voice of manliness (which lies dormant during her girl-times) in her thoughts took over, _Psh, what am I worried about? It's not like it matters_.

Standing up, Ranma confronted fate head-on. Tategami looked at her with a warm and friendly smile characteristic of Aulisians – but Ranma didn't know this. Tategami wore a rather bright yellow shirt and a comfortable pair of black pants, the both of which reminded Ranma of Ryoga. Tategami even had Ryoga's headband, though it wasn't tied around his head – instead, it was tied around arm. But where Ryoga's jerk-face pugnacious attitude masked his manliness, Tategami's warmth and friendliness seemed to enhance his. Ranma couldn't help but notice how the yellow shirt clung to his broad and muscular chest, couldn't help but wonder how strong his sinewy and powerful arms were…

Self-consciously, Ranma tugged at her far-too-large boy clothe while berating herself for not having picked something more…fitting and colorful.

Up ahead, Tategami was holding the door open for her, and, unwilling to seem cruder than she already was, quickly stepped in with a shy, "Thank you," on her lips.

It was only when she was sitting down at one of the empty tables did her normal boy thoughts explode again – this time in omnipotent fury – in her mind, _What the hell is with this stupid girl body! Why the hell am I thinking those thoughts?_ Ranma looked down at herself, _Stupid curse!_ It was bad enough her stupid pop made her a girl, but just why did it have to screw with her thoughts too? _Stupid estrogen, perverting me like this._

Of course, in the process of rebuking herself, Ranma didn't notice Tategami studying her, it only when his voice penetrated Ranma's fortress of thoughts did Ranma look up, "You know, you look so familiar, have we meet before – you and I?"

_He doesn't know…_the thought flashed across Ranma's mind before she said, "No."

"I see," Tategami pulled out a chair but did not sit down, "I didn't think I could ever forget a girl as pretty and lovely as you." Tategami said the words with lightheartedly, "I'm Tategami, what's your name?"

"Ranma Saotome from the school of indiscriminate grappling, we meet a week or so ago when I was a boy," Ranma would've said that with a strong tone, but instead, her words, on the way out from her throat, was assaulted and beaten down by a vigilante anti-manhood wave of estrogen and replaced by a shy and quiet, "Ran-ko."

"You must be from Sacred Heart," Ranma recognized the school Tategami just mentioned as the all-girls school that was often the telescope target of perverts at the Spartan school, "I'm from the boys' school next door."

Ranma nodded, but said nothing – she was busy trying to slap down that damnable girlishness and didn't trust her voice at this moment. Ranma was particular irritated at herself at this moment; she, a boy at heart, was getting all nervous and shy in front of another boy! _What the hell!_ Fortunately, Ranma was use this kind of thing from all those times back in Nerima when she had used her feminine charms willies to have the guys – ranging from Kuno to Ryoga – lapping at her feet, and so, she was soon in control of her emotions again – Tategami stood no chance.

"Oh, mister Tategami," Ranma squealed out in the most timid girly voice she could muster, "I feel so dizzy and hungry (but I have no money), if only you had something to eat…" Dramatically, Ranma pressed the back of her hand against her forehead so drastically overplaying the situation that, had Ranma been a boy, Tategami would've, no doubt, clubbed him over the head with a stool.

But since Ranma was a girl – and a pretty one at that – Tategami fell for the ridiculously bad acting, "Aww, you poor thing, Sacred Heart must be rough," He said gently as he compassionately patted Ranma's head (something Tategami had the habit of doing to people shorter than him, which was pretty much most of the school), "I haven't eaten breakfast either, so please, join me."

Tategami's idea of breakfast proved to be rather un-Japanese and more Western; it consisted of fruits, ham, milk, and a rather funky looking nut Tategami called a "macadamia nut." But, considering how hungry Ranma was, it all tasted the same on the way down.

In fact, Ranma was so hungry and busy swallowing chewed up mixtures of nuts, ham, and milk, she failed to notice the most peculiar way Tategami glanced at her, or how his hands would "accidentally" brush against hers, or how he seemed to edge closer and closer beside Ranma with each blink of her eye.

It wasn't until Ranma had, by chance, paused in her gluttony and found her eyes staring straight into Tategami's did she began to feel the tension crackle in the air, the warmth of Tategami's body next to hers, the moisture of his breath on her skin. Consequently, when Ranma _did_ feel that tension – which from her experiences in this field meant _someone_ wanted to be more than just friends (or enemies as history insists) – she tried to lessen it by asking nonchalantly, "Do…I have something on my face?"

Tategami ignored Ranma's question, but continued to stare hypnotically into her eyes, "Are you sure we've never met before, Ranko?"

"Well…I don't think so…" Ranma started, but Tategami interrupted.

"Because it feels like I've known you for years…Perhaps we should be reintroduced tonight (as in on a date)." He edged a bit closer to Ranma so that the two sat side-by-side; Ranma's leg brushed against Tategami's.

Now Ranma was a normally a cool-headed and calm type of a man – always on top of things (and not things on top of her), never afraid, never fidgety (except around girls) – but the sheer proximity of this…this…boy – whom Ranma refuses acknowledge as handsome and incredibly seductive to a girl – seemed to gnaw away at her normal sensibilities. For the moment, the closeness of Tategami's rock hard chiseled body sent Ranma's heart pounding in her chest, butterflies fluttering in her stomach, and a tiny shiver of nervousness compounded by excitement racing down her spine. Despite all of Ranma's willpower, a rosy blush nevertheless flushed to her cheeks.

From the corner of her eyes, Ranma saw a small smirk on Tategami's face; his charms were working and he knew it. He teased Ranma, "You're as red as a tomato, Ranko." And then, without even bothering to feign yawning or scratching his back, Tategami simply put his arm across Ranma's shoulder – capturing the helpless girl with not just his strong and muscular arms, but also his manliness.

"Uhh…" Ranma was at a loss for words – she certainly wasn't hoping for Tategami to come onto her like this. Tategami was normally a nice guy, and Ranma wouldn't mind being friends with him…but this is just sick! She is a boy! Not some – despite what Spice had said – frilly cute girl meant to serve as some boy's (or boys') sex toy (the thought sent shivers down Ranma's spine).

Unfortunately, Tategami shared none of Ranma's thoughts – he was apparently far too accustomed to girls falling left and right for him; in fact, as far as Tategami could recall, he has never yet meet a girl who could resist him if he turned on his rakish charms for her (Tategami was banned from ever setting foot in Sacred Heart after the incident when he almost got a teacher of that school pregnant). Consequently, he ignored Ranma's obvious discomfort, and instead of respecting her space and moving back, he simply teased her, "How was breakfast? You're going to have to help me with the dishes, you know! I hope you don't mind getting a bit dirty and wet."

O.O There would've been no other way to describe Ranma's reaction – Tategami was stretching the limit of how much Ranma was willing to put up with before she busted out some whoop-ass. "Tategami…" Ranma began shakily, mentally, her dominate male side was clubbing, smacking, and whacking defiantly at the estrogen coursing in her blood.

"Yes, Ranko?" Tategami said gently and politely as his hand did something neither gentle nor polite (but certainly not uncomfortable – though Ranma would never acquiesce this fact).

"Ah…" Ranma gasped, but quickly regained control of herself. "Tategami you pervert!" In a quick burst of manliness and command, she cried as she bolted up out of her chair, sending it crashing to ground, "Ranma Saotome will make you pay for this!" She jabbed an enraged finger at Tategami.

"Huh?" Tategami, for some odd reason, turned around to where he assumed Ranko was pointing in expectation to see Ranma Saotome – the rather decent fighter back in the Spartan School, who obviously, though unexpectedly, had a connection with this red-haired vixen – standing there ready to fight – but, of course, he wasn't there.

_Wham! Bonk!_

By the time Tategami shook off the pieces of broken glass and turned back around, Ranko was already bolting out the door and into the slowing crowding streets, "Hey! Wait! Ranko!" He called after her, but the girl was too fast and too agile – she soon vanished behind a wall of construction and people. This, of course, left Tategami to his own thoughts, which, interestingly enough, consisted mostly of befuddlement – just what did he do or say wrong to put her off like this? Turning around, he was about to content himself with musing over this red-haired minx while putting away the dishes, when he saw an article of pink on the chair where Ranko had sat – Spice's torn nightshirt/bra (Tategami, despite his womanizing habits, never actually figured out his lingerie), though Tategami had no idea.

Actually, even if that strange red-haired girl who had been able to resist him so easily didn't accidentally drop a most strange and personal token, Tategami wouldn't have simply contented himself with going back to normal life – no, never, especially with girls he had an interest in. Sure, the average person may take someone shattering a piece of glassware over one's head as a definite sign of disinterest, Tategami, who was reputedly so tough he actually defeated a large mountain range in a head-bashing contest, but with Tategami, it only piqued his curiosity – just who was this girl to turn him down? He'd find out; and just what is her deal with Ranma Saotome…? Are they related? – No, that can't be, Saotome did say he was an only child…

Now, Tategami probably could've drilled the answers out of the girl if he had chased after her – as she didn't really get far – but he decided to put away the dishes first. As strong and durable as Ranma might be, she/he is still no match for a large moving vehicle; almost as soon as Ranma turned around to check if Tategami was chasing after her, she crashed straight into a car, which was backing out of its parking spot. Fortunately, the collision wasn't head-on, as that would've proved quite painful, instead, the large Deutschland luxury sports car simply knocked hard against Ranma's side. Unfortunately, a car (especially a Mercedes) had about twenty to forty times Ranma's mass, and consequently, twenty to forty times Ranma's momentum and ability to hurt. Strong and skilled as Ranma was, the car sent her tumbling backwards before tripping and knocking herself out on the solid concrete – headfirst.

Of course, this all happened rather quickly, and Ranma was neither able to notice the familiarity of the shiny red Benz, which bore numerous scratches and dents, that had smacked into her, nor startled at the driver – he was clad in pure red plus a funky looking military officer's hat – who had immediately stepped out of the car. She wasn't even aware when the man, as sneakily and stealthily – albeit with a keen roughness – as he could, smuggled her into the backseat and drove off.

Space Here

Vega couldn't believe his luck; especially since how badly the day had started. He had forgotten to wash his jogging sweater the night previous, and it absolutely reeked when he put it on this morning. Worse, the cafeteria's coffee machine broke, so he couldn't get his early morning boost of energy – which Vega desperately needed to help him stay awake. And most horrendous of all, while going about the school in his early morning jog, some dumb red-haired bimbo – who, from a distance, looked strikingly familiar – was most violently and heartlessly abusing his dearest baby – his poor defenseless car (it was the only thing Vega poured tremendous affection and time into).

And when he thought he'd cheer himself up with some hentai/ecchi doujinshi – Vega wasn't particularly proud of his funky fetishes, but he _is_ a teenager, after all – from the adult bookstore by the _Ookami Pan'ya _café, it turned out some other idiot already checked out _all_ of his favorite doujinshi/hentai subjects – Vega had a particular predilection toward Street Fighters. And, as if the God was preparing warts and plagues to rain down on his head to test Vega's faith (which is practically nonexistent), Vega, while backing out in irritation and rage from the bookstore parking lot, actually rammed his car into some girl. A most unpleasant law suit and insurance premium hike seemed imminent…that is, until he got out and saw who it was he had hit.

If there had been any doubt in Vega's mind regarding just whom he would use to perform the extraction magic, it was all gone that morning during that split second. Vega never thought it was possible that he'd actually hate any female – considering how much he lusts after them – but, as his mother said before being killed in a horrible car accident, "You live you learn."

Now, Vega had to give this red-haired pigtailed girl some credit for being so damn durable – she wasn't even bleeding as most car accident victims tend to do. But then again, Vega expected this – after all, this stupid girl _had_ managed to even beat him down. But just how on earth did this _girl_ get so good at the entire martial arts thing? Vega didn't know, so he simply attributed her training and skill to her brother – whom Vega sees occasionally wandering about the school, but has never actually bothered to speak with (the boy was hostile toward him – but then again, what brother wouldn't be enraged at the guy that tried to do _that_ do his little sister?). Other than that, Vega knew virtually nothing about this girl's – this Ranma Saotome's – brother (not even his first name, as people normally just addressed him as Saotome)…

But none of it mattered now. By some twist of plot – some device of God – Vega had wound up with what he had coveted after since that fateful night when he was utterly humiliated – revenge and a virgin (hopefully). So with a most deviously evil smirk on his greasy pimpled face, Vega swept up the unconscious pretty red-haired pigtailed girl into his bulky and sweaty arms.

As soon as he picked her up, Vega almost dropped her again. It wasn't so much because Ranma was heavy – she was quite fit – but simply because, for a moment, Vega was simply overwhelmed. Vega, being a greasy grunting brute in an all-boys' school, had absolute minimum contact with those pretty and seductive creatures called girls. Consequently, when Vega's hands roughly grasped onto Ranma's, he was acutely sensitive to the play of muscles in her thighs against his hairy arms, he was keenly conscious of the strange scent – sweet flowers and tasty cookies mixed in with a certain womanly panache – that snuck into his nostrils, he was intensely aware of this girl's soft womanliness. For a brief moment, Vega looked upon Ranma's unconscious face and felt his frozen heart melt slightly – where this feisty girl was all defiance and in-your-face in consciousness, she was cute and helpless in restful oblivion.

But, as quick as the moment came to him, it was gone, and once again malicious lust and evil consumed his being. Slipping his hands where they shouldn't go for one last feel, Vega quickly returned to seriousness and chucked the girl into the backseat of his scratched up, albeit still beautiful, Mercedes and drove back, with alacrity – in case she wake up too early – to his lair.

Space Here

"Who…what…are you?"

"Hmm, what's wrong, don't recognize me…Ranma Saotome?"

"Who are you…Tategami?"

"Don't insult me you slut! I'll make you pay for that girly!"

"Uh…Ah! Vega! What's going on? Untie me now, you bastard! Unless you feel you need my foot up your ass again."

"Funny _you_ should make threats at me girly. And it's also funny how you think anything of _yours_ is going up _my_ ass…but I love it when they're feisty! It's just more fun for me!"

"What are you talking about…?"

"Ooh, you'll see soon Ranma…in fact, you won't just see…buawahahahahahahaha! You'll feel too!"

"Hey, shut up you stupid cow, you think mere rope can hold me back from tearing you a new one?"

"It's not just mere rope girly, it's special cyber-synthesized spider silk – the strongest fiber in the world. The thread looks thin but that thickness is enough to stop an aircraft carrier from falling off the Empire State Building."

"Ack!"

"No use struggling girly, just give in to me…ooh, you must be pretty cold."

"Hey! Hands off of me! Don't touch me there!"

"Since when was it your choice what I do with my hands? Isn't that right!"

"Oww! Don't squeeze so hard…Stop it! Wait, don't rip it please…"

"Oops, too late, but don't worry, you won't need a shirt for what I have planned…or pants for that matter, let me help you take that off too! Hehe."

"What…are you saying?"

"Lemme show you, girly. "

"Eww! What are you doing? Stop taking off your clothe you fat pimply bastard! Oh my god…don't…"

"What's wrong girly? Hmm…your mouth says one thing, but your body says another – I wonder which is more honest…"

"Ah…Stop touching me there, Vega!"

"Oh, what a dirty girl you are, getting so excited by _this_."

"It's just sweat! Stop it, I'm not even a girl! I'm a boy!"

"Oh really? A boy you say…Well, could I do _this_ to a boy? Buawahahahaahahahahaha!"

"No! Aaaaaaaaaah!"

Ranma's eyes snapped open, and immediately, a sigh of relief came to her lips, "Oh Jeez, what a horrible dream…Hmm…it's still dark." A shiver ran down her spine as the horror filled her memories again, "Eww…I can't believe I dreamed that…" She muttered to herself in disgust.

"Well," A voice answered Ranma's soliloquy, "Maybe your dreams were foreshadowing the future." And suddenly, light flooded the room.

Blinking rapidly to adjust, Ranma found herself lying on a large round wooden table – something large enough to have accommodated King Arthur and all his knights – with her wrists and ankles fastened by handcuffs and chains. The table, instead of being solidly on the ground, was leaned up against a nearby wall, and consequently, Ranma was able to glance about the room.

Vega's "lair" proved to be at best eccentric at worst thoroughly weird – it was more of a medieval torture chamber – but it did earn the man his keep. The lair, floor six of a rather nondescript building located dangerously close to a police station, was similar in many ways to floor on a hotel. In fact, if it weren't for the bleak grayness of the cement bricks lined the walls, the lack of lighting, the cold draft that seemed to siphon away warmth and spirit at the same time, and the entire depressing feel of a dungeon, an ignorant tourist may well have confused Vega's lair for a hotel room. Not that any tourists would actually wonder into this building, unless, that is, if he was in trouble with the law – thus the proximity to the police station. Aulisian justice was, is, and will be more efficient than the Western system – lawyers, judges, and mild prison terms hardly deterred crime. No, in Aulis, as like in Singapore, crime was punished by the whip, cane, shaft, and whatever implements of beating the health offices deemed tolerable to humanity but not fatal (or permanently damaging).

Since the old Aulis police station was far too small to accommodate an elaborate "justice" room to meet the requirement of the modern day, the old chief of police and city major paced about their respective offices for months to attempt to resolve the situation. Vega, being quite entrepreneurial and daring, poured the entire Shadowlaw club treasury into down-payment for a floor in the building next to the station and went on to spend countless hours rebuilding it to meet torture room standards. And just when the old chief of police and city major was about to throw in the towel and pull funding from the education budget into building a new layer in the police station, Vega daringly burst in and offered the city an alternative – he would rent the floor out to the police station – to the thorough relief of all (except the criminals). Thus Vega had done the city, the developers, the major, the city, and himself a major service…

But Ranma knew or cared about none of that – her first and foremost concern right now was freeing herself from this most compromising situation. Indeed it was a compromising position – it was even worse than the last time Vega had the upper-hand on her. She was held down helpless with her arms and legs akimbo (apart). The metal rings that held down her wrists were slightly rusty and roughly brushed against the delicate and smooth skin of her exposed wrists and ankles leaving behind ugly rings of orangey rust. Maybe, just maybe, if she was a boy right now, she might be strong enough to wrench the things straight out of the table – doubtful, but it was a possibility – but as a girl, it was utterly hopeless.

Vega's words reinforced that horrible truth, "You're not going to break free girly, the cops have used this those cuffs for hundreds of criminals, they won't just collapse now – you might as well stop struggling, or else you might need an tetanus shot." In the light, Ranma could make out the ugly greasy expression of amusement on his pimply face.

"Shut up!" Ranma snarled, still trying hard to rip the cuffs out of the table, "Once I get off of this thing, I'll tear you so many new ones you won't be able to hold water for months!"

"Okay girly, how do you plan to do that?" Vega stepped disgustingly close to Ranma, his warm slimy breath crawled onto Ranma's throat, the rough red material of his trousers brushed dangerously against Ranma's inner thigh, and his broad muscular chest pressed ever-so-slightly against her chest.

"I said!" Ranma, with a quick jerk of her head, head-bashed Vega right on the nose, "Get away from me!" Ranma, whose head was as hard as a brick wall, took no damage from the attack…but she regretted it anyway when she felt something warm and viscous dangling about on her hair and forehead – presumably Vega's bloody snot (eww!)

"Oof! Argh!" Vega took a step back, clearly in more pain than Ranma, a hand was angrily pressed over his nose, "You stupid slut! You'll pay for that!"

"Yeah, well, bring it!" Ranma shot back, glaring Vega straight in the eye – which was a big mistake as Ranma felt that strange limb-locking psycho energy beam straight into her blood from Vega's smoldering red eyes.

"Enough of this," Vega's voice, which sounded funny because he still had a nosebleed, was nevertheless menacing, "We kept the reader waiting long enough, girl!" He advanced on her.

"Wait," Ranma was decidedly getting shifty and nervous as her previous short dream and her inability to even struggle now seemed to coalesce into a most horrifying reality, "You're…not going to…"

"Buawahahahahahaha!"

Author's Notes: So yeah, Ranma seems to be in quite a predicament. In case you're not familiar with the street fighter story, Vega or, as he technically known outside Asia, Bison supposedly expelled all his humanity from his soul in order to master his psycho powers. There's an excellent article on the whole Bison back story on wikipedia (search M. Bison).

Sorry for the late update, I haven't abandoned this project, but SATs, APs, internships, etc. bog me down.


	10. Lost Virgin

Chapter Ten: Lost Virgin

"Oh my God…You've got to be joking with me..._that _can't possibly be the chapter title…"

"Ranma, Ranma, Ranma," Vega smirked insidiously as he wiggled a fat finger in delight, "It looks like the writer has given me a clear mandate to do it."

"No way…he wouldn't abandon me like this!"

"Well, considering all hentai references he's made so far…you're lucky I'm not a secret shokushu bakemono (Japanese for tentacle monster)," Vega gestured toward the tentacle monster in the corner, which made Ranma gag in disgust and shiver in repulse. The tentacle monster, having served its purpose of loitering pointlessly in the corner, then slid away and was no more a part of the story.

That shiver, of course, quickly turned to fury as Ranma cursed the heavens, for various reasons, in romanized Japanese, "Iya! Ano kuso no baka yaro! Naze koitsu no you no otaku tachi ga iyarashikuchau! Tsukereba, zettai ni kurosu!" Ranma turned to Vega, "and I'll kill you, too!"

"Keke, it's hot when they protest in Japanese," Vega chortled with giggling pleasure as naughty thoughts strip-danced in his thoughts. "it's time you gave it up, anyway (plus we should get started for the sake of the reader)."

"I'm warning you, you pervert!" Ranma snarled back equally coldly, "Touch me and I'll make you drink your blood, pee it out, then make you drink your pee – which would just be your blood with kidney juices on it."

But Vega, too busy advancing upon Ranma, was not listening.

[Space Here

Now, it has always been the practice of writers, great and mediocre, to suddenly shift the camera away from the action – rather it be violence, sex, or an erotic combination of both – to something suddenly much more mundane and irritable to the eyelid-twitching reader. And what could be more mundane and dull than the morning thoughts of a rather guilt-ridden girl? Many things: waiting for the doctor in the waiting room, going through the day without the internet, watching paint draw, playing Yu-Gi-Oh, and playing with Yu-Gi-Oh (and by Yu-Gi-Oh, I mean yourself).

That morning, after Spice flung Ranma out the window, she found, much to her dismay, sleep wouldn't come to her as she laid herself back down onto the bed. It wasn't because she was afraid she had hurt or killed Ranma – Spice had seen Ranma crash headfirst into solid concrete from a rather impressive height and walk away unscathed – no, it wasn't that. It wasn't even that she was afraid Ranma would return for revenge and beat her up later – no, Ranma did that anyway during sparing (except for such occasions when Spice fought the boy as a girl, and suddenly she was no longer good enough an opponent to fight against – that pretentious misogynistic douche-bag).

It was something internal. Every time Spice closed her eyes, she'd see that look on Ranma's face as she fell – that flash of reproach and hurt that cut Spice deeper than any of Ranma's kicks and punches. She tried to reason with herself – Ranma had been a jerk, he deserved it, he only thinks about himself – but to no avail. That last moment as Ranma was flying out the window and their eyes met, that quiver of her lips and that look of watery betrayal in Ranma's eyes had slice straight into Spice's heart.

Spice didn't even know what made her say those words: "I know it's hard for a no-talent dumb bimbo to find a job that doesn't involve being on her back, but you'll have to!" it just burst out of her mouth like vomit. And like vomit, it left a bad after taste and got on her hair.

Sighing most regretfully, Spice picked herself up and out of bed and dressed – she knew, in addition to getting breakfast, finishing math homework, and washing her laundry, she'd have to find Ranma and apologize for being such a jerk…but, of course, that was no easy task.

According to the few people that were up and about wondering the halls of the school, they've either never heard of Ranma, haven't seen her, or "…tore that damn red-haired slut to pieces!" (this one was contributed by Vega) this meant that Ranma was probably wandering the city. This, in turn, meant that Spice would have an incredibly hard time finding Ranma. Spice wasn't old enough to legally drive a car yet (cars were the primary vehicle of transportation in Aulis) – but she was determined to find Ranma anyway.

And of course, as if compelled by fate and destiny (and certainly not Spice's wanton desires) she found herself, in a most unexpected accident, standing across the street from Tategami's coffee shop. Now, had Spice came a minute early, she would've, no doubt, witness a shinny red car running over a shinny red-haired girl, she may also have noticed a certain hatefully red-clad man step out of the car and hoist up the unconscious girl into his car. But, since Spice's timing was not so apropos, all she saw was a shinny but distastefully scratched red car – which she humored as belonging to Vega – speed off the street while its driver smirked most disturbingly. Unfortunately, Spice knew about Vega's dirty "yucky" habits, and consequently simply attributed his fervor to his acquisition of some new and disgusting piece of tentacle Sailor Moon hentai – Usagi sure had it hard in her world!

How right Spice was! Though, Vega won't just _be staring_ at dirty pictures of helpless funky hair-colored girls get ripped up by tentacles, rods, shafts, and whatever else was long and hard – he'd be experiencing it first hand with poor Ranma. But Spice knew none of this.

Instead, she was too busy tugging at her shirt, twirling with her hair, shuffling her shorts, and nervously glancing for Tategami in his shop to be concerned with red-haired trouble-makers. While the passing stranger may have not given Spice's calm exterior composure a second glance – though they probably would've wondered why a beautiful marble statue of a girl was doing frozen on a sidewalk – Spice's heart, a woman's delicate and passionate heart, was roiling in turmoil.

"I'm going to tell him…" Spice muttered to herself as she clenched her fist in determination, "I'll walk into his shop and pour cold water on myself and show him what I really am…" Spice, swallowing, told herself with grave solemnity.

Spice's feet did not move.

"I'll just go over there and let him know I'm really a girl," Spice told herself quietly as she watched Tategami obliviously refill the cabinet with more tasty donuts, "Tategami -" the name made her heart jump, "Tategami's known me forever, he understands me…he won't hurt me. All I have to do is just go over there."

Spice's legs still refused to budge.

"C'mon, I can do this, all I have to do is tell him how I really feel," Spice clear her throat in a test run, "Tategami, I'm only a boy half the time…and I really like you…" Spice could feel herself blushing despite the fact she was whispering those embarrassing words to only herself, "and…would you take me to the dance at the Sacred ♥ next Friday?" Spice swallowed, "No…" she was absolutely amazed at just how stupid she could sound; had it been someone else, it might've even been funny.

"Sure, I'd love to!" A gruff oily voice answered.

Spice spun around, alarmed – apparently, she said the last part too loudly – a gruff, old, hairy sailor old enough to be one of Spice's weird uncles leered at her most inappropriately. Hurriedly and still blushing, Spice stuttered, "No, sorry, sir, I wasn't…uhh…"

"That's okay, young lad," the slimy-ball sailor sized Spice up and down; Spice felt the most interesting prickling sensation run up and down her spine as she had a distinct impression he was undressing her in his mind. Then, his eye caught onto the scar on Spice's cheek, and his lips twitched in excitement, "Ooh, young boys these days play rough, don't they?"

Spice blinked, "Huh?"

"No?" the sailor asked, disappointedly, "Oh well, then." And walked away without another word.

"Play rough?" unconsciously, her hand caressed against her face, her finger feeling against the ugly red scar on her cheek. By accident, her nail dug against the tender red skin and Spice winced in pain – even after all those years, the wound still hasn't healed…it hasn't even closed…it hasn't stop hurting either…stupid herbs. But then, this scar on her cheek was the only thing Spice had that reminded her of home; a home that, despite the pain and torment she had endured there, Spice, most inexplicably, still longed and missed.

But infinitely more disturbingly, the old sailor had said, "Young boy…" Spice's hand slid down her through and against her chest, an expression of infinite irritation and anxiety marked her features. "Friggin' stingy puberty fairy…" she muttered to herself bitterly. But no! Spice was not about to mire herself in this old trouble at this moment, besides, she thought to herself as her eyes glittered with hope, "I'm still young."

"Ahem," Spice clear her throat sheepishly, realizing random people were giving her weird stares and commenting on that crazy glittering in her eyes. Embarrassedly, Spice quickly picked up the remnants of her dignity.

Swallowing the rest of this ridiculous shifty nervousness that zapped about her spine, Spice, after checking both sides of the street for cars, marched across the empty road and into the Tategami's shop as what she truly is – a girl. Her long black hair, silky and smooth from Herbal Essence, wafted gracefully in the gentle morning breeze. Her seifuku, liberated from the Sacred ♥ girl's academy during last year's Peace-ball, pressed against her lithe and girly figure as she strode toward destiny. Her eyes, alit with a sparkle of purpose, determination, and what can only be described as girlish excitement, were fixed upon the clueless Tategami as he busily stocked his shop through the window.

Of course, with her eyes fixed there, Spice wasn't aware of elsewhere. And, by chance, as she paused a final nervous moment in front of Tategami's shop, a bucketful of cold water flounced straight into her face from a window up on the third of fourth story (Spice wasn't sure). Immediately, the strange magic of the cursed fountains rushed in her blood streams, melting away the ironing board of her breasts, broadening her shoulders, and making her short-shorts look oddly disturbing.

"Oh shi-" Spice almost cursed under his breath, but suddenly Tategami spotted her and she bit her tongue.

"Spicy!" Tategami, a welcoming smile on his face, walked over and pushed open the glass door, "What's up? You need to dry off?" Tategami quickly invited the boy in.

"Tategami…" Spice began, determined not the chicken out like every time before, "I need to tell you something."

"Sure, let me get a towel," he said, shrugging lightly, as he fetched a towel from behind the counter, "I'm going to have a talk with those kids upstairs – they can't just be throwing water down on people!"

Spice took the towel and wiped some water off her face. "Tategami, can I just…" she glanced at her shoes and clutched at the soft fabric hesitantly. But upon staring downward toward her shoes, Spice noticed something else halfway between her eyes and her feet…it protruded in a most revoltingly repulsive manner. _Why the hell is this so hard?!_ Spice couldn't help but mentally slap himself in disgust while quickly flinging herself down on a seat.

"…Can what?" Tategami prompted smilingly, then, getting the idea (albeit wrong one), "Have a donut? Sure: your usual?" Tategami went behind the counter and fetched a particular long Ligimi donut before handing it to Spice on a napkin, "Coffee's in the mug over there, help yourself," he gestured at the coffee maker merrily churning in the corner.

"No, Tategami, I need to tell you something…" Spice, awkwardly covering the protruding crotch with the towel (_be more obvious, please_, Spice mentally sarcastically sneered at it), took a nervous bite from the Ligimi; the donut was rock hard, but it melted into honey sweetness on the tongue.

"Okay, about…?"

"Umm…me…" Spice bit his lip, _I've known Tategami almost all my life, why the hell am I quivering like some little girl?!_

Tategami must've guessed at her thoughts, and prompted jokingly, "Well, stop fussing around like some woman, and just tell me! Be a man!"

"I…" _Damn it!_ Spice balked, there's just no way he could just come out and say she's a girl now! Not after Tategami just explicitly told him to stop acting like a woman and be a **man**!

"Okay, how 'bout this," Tategami, being ever the nice guy, suggested, "I'll tell you something – that you don't know already – about me, and then you tell me this thing about you, 'kay?"

Spice hesitated but nodded in agreement anyway – although he's physical strong and financial capable (the perfect man), Tategami confided in Spice as if they were brothers as oppose to lovers as Spice often dreamt.

"Okay," Tategami mused for a second, then a light bulb went off, "Oh, this pretty young red-haired pigtailed girl came in earlier – she looked sort of strangely familiar –"

_Red-haired pigtailed girl? _Spice mused, _maybe it was Ranma?_ Then, a most disturbing thought flashed in her head,_ What was she doing here?!_ Spice's mind raced with everything from accusing suspicions of harlotry to straight out accusations of infidel vaginal looseness.

Tategami continued, "And she's hungry and so she asks me for a food. And uhh," Tategami's smile grew wider and almost sheepish, "If I ever have a weakness, it's got to be pretty redheads!"

"That whore!" Spice swore under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nice store," Spice cleared his throat, "So what did you two do?" Spice swallowed a gulp of nervousness…Horrible scenes of Ranma wearing in tight black leather, knee-length leather high-heels, and cracking a whip appeared before Spice's eyes. "Service me, slave!" Ranma would snarl and crack her whip and Tategami, who would be chained for some reason, would reply, "Yes mistress." Then –

"God, I'm weird," Spice slapped herself mentally to clear the freaky thoughts out of her head.

"What else? I had wild hot sex with her on the spot!" Tategami smirked jokingly and elbowed Spice lightly.

Spice chocked on her donut, "What?!"

"Oh, I'm only joking, what's with the horrified expression, Spicy Boy?" Tategami smirked.

"Haha," Spice laughed forcibly; that Tategami! Even he can be a pervert sometimes! But then again, they do all attend a boys academy, "Okay, but seriously, what happened to her?"

"Oh, I don't know…" Tategami seemed downcast, "I tried to make a move on her, but she just bolted outside and disappeared around Vega's car down over there," Tategami pointed out the window, "Hmm…she was so feisty and pretty…and I don't even know her name."

Spice fumed, but kept her voice pleasant, "Maybe you can just call her the 'Pigtailed Girl.' Like that Kuno guy in the manga…god, I can't believe I have a crush on Kuno." She didn't actually say the last part since none of the characters in this Ranma fan-fic should know that they've been suckered into this Ranma fan-fic. Hell, she didn't even think it since…well, same reasoning and logic  Q.E.D (ketsuron).

"Nah, I wanna find out just who she is," Tategami said, not even looking at Spice but instead at where that whore Ranma had last disappeared, "she's got to be the prettiest girl I've seen in a long time...Probably even prettier than _that_ girl I met back at _that_ village in China."

_Slap!_ Tategami's words, like a speeding backhand, left a red mark on Spice's pale cheeks in much the same way a pimp would slap an uppity ho. _I'm from China…most notably __**that**__ village in China…that Ranma can't be prettier than me just because that cow has bigger breasts!!_ "Well, I'm sure you and Ranma will be very happy together! I'm going back to school." Spice said through biting her lip as she stood up and bolted out the door.

"Spice?" Tategami called after him, but Spice had already disappeared around the corner. Tategami would've gone after him – Spice rarely got upset for no reason (but he does exhibit unusual moodiness on a monthly basis for some odd reason) – but merry customers quickly began to flood into the shop. So instead, Tategami simply mused over Spice's words, "Ranma? The new kid? Oh right, the girl was his younger sister…I'll deal with Ranma on my good time."

Meanwhile, Spice was not pleased as he cursed to nobody in particular under his breath, "Ranma, you bastard! I'm going to pound your transsexual ass into the ground!" Spice clenched his fists, determined to pound them into, as her words would apparently indicate, Ranma's ass.

He was determined to scour the city – burn it to the ground if necessary – to find this most foul red-haired bimbo.

[Space Here

The "red-haired bimbo," unfortunately, was already having her own problems back at Vega's shack.

"I'm warning you, Vega," Ranma's eyes flashed as her wrists strained against the hard cuffs that held her down, "back off and let me go now and I promise to only rip you one (as oppose to two) new asshole."

"Oh really?" Vega, feeling smug in his victory, hovered out a grimy hand directly over Ranma's boobs, "and what if I don't? Huh, Miss Pigtails?"

"If you," Ranma breathed a furious quivering breath, "move that hand any closer, I'll rip it off and then beat your face in with it so hard, you'll crap your nose out of your ass, you pervert." As is to emphasis her point, Ranma forcefully rattled in her chains; they didn't budge.

"Let's see you try," Vega's greasy hand closed onto Ranma's chest, and he gave her a painful squeeze, "Ooh soft."

"Ack!" Ranma couldn't help but gasp – damn this weakling girly body!

"Hmm? Am I hurting you?" Vega asked, smirking darkly, "How 'bout now?" Vega did something with Ranma's boobies that loses all its meaning when analyzed through words.

Ranma had to bite her lips from letting out another surprised gasp, "What the hell are you doing?! You pervert! Don't!"

"Buawahahahaha! Ue no guchi wa 'yada' tte iu noni, karada ga jitsu ni ore to hametai ne!"

"Eww…who the hell would actually say that?" Ranma spat in disgust, "the moment I free myself from these chains, I'm snapping your ass in half, Vega."

"And how do you plan to do that?"

For the past year before being sent off to Aulis, Ranma had often fought against his old rival Ryoga. Naturally, when one hangs about another long enough, one picks up certain habits, skills, and such from the other. Ranma was no exception. In a strangely calm voice, Ranma looked up straight at Vega and smiled darkly, "You see I'm tied onto? It has a breaking point right underneath my left hand."

"Whaa-?"

_Boom! _In an instant, the thick wood behind Ranma shattered into a million shards with a large crack and Ranma gracefully landed on her feet with the steel rings still around her wrists.

"Oh shi-" Vega was taken aback first by surprise then by a forceful kick to the face from an enraged Ranma.

"Oof!" Vega stumbled backwards and crashed into a wall, "you bitch! How dare you try –"

"How dare _you_ try to rape me, you ass!" Ranma, full of humiliation driven rage, cried back, "go to hell!" Ranma burst forward with incredible wind-snapping speed.

But this time, Vega was ready, "Psycho-punch!" his fist, funneled with evil purple energy, plummeted straight toward Ranma's face, shattering bone and drawing blood…

Or at least, that's what should've happened, but instead, Vega's hand burst through nothing but an ephemeral Ranma after-image and the big man stumbled forward. "Ooof!" suddenly, a heavy weight slammed right on top of Vega's head.

"Be slower, please," Ranma scoffed sarcastically as he pressed Vega's ugly face into the dirty uncarpeted floor. Then, with a powerful flip kick, Ranma's shoe slammed into Vega's face, sending him flying backward into the wall. "You son of bitch! You should've quit while you were ahead!" Ranma burst-charged in, somewhere, the announcer prepared to cry, "FATALITY!"

"Wait!" Vega cried, holding up a defensive hand, "you wouldn't kill your brother, would you?"

Ranma froze, "What?! You're not my brother…" in the back of her head, Ranma suspected this to be some sort of trick, "I have no brother."

Vega inwardly smirked at the stupid confused expression on Ranma's face, he could hardly believe such a lame strategy was working...but it did give him time to channel a psycho crusher charge and that's all that matters. "Yes, a brother, could you truly bring yourself to kill your own brother?"

"Just die…" Ranma continued beating the crap out of Vega, "God, do you seriously think I'm some kind of idiot?"

"Auuhieuha…" Vega groaned, laced with horrible pain, "If you could get out so easily, why did you wait so long to do it?"

"Ranma!" Suddenly, the door burst open from behind and a flood of outside lights cascaded into the room along with a voice furrowed in bloodlust rage, "Don't you hide from me!"

"Oh my god!" Ranma jumped in sudden surprise, "Two boss fights without a save-point in between?! What is this bull –" then seeing it was Spice, coolly folded her arms across her chest and snorted, "Hmph! If you're here to apologize, do it quickly, otherwise, don't bother me now, ugly," Ranma called over his shoulder curtly and impatiently, "but you can thank me later for taking down your archenemy who your weak ass could never defeat."

"Shut up, you whore!" Spice screamed furiously, her long dark hair seemed to burn red around her cheeks, "How could you, you slut?! Chi burst!" Immediately, a rainbow of furious energy armored itself around Spice's body in the shape of a large bullet. In a burst of fury and speed, Spice dashed forward like a light speed cannon ball.

"Oh shoot!" Ranma, quick and lithe on her feet, skillfully evaded Spice with a dexterous jump..."What the hell is your problem?!" Ranma shouted angrily.

"Ugh…" Vega's low throaty moan sounded behind Ranma, "I think my spleen is coming out…"

"You!" Spice replied furiously as she doubled back. Using kicking off the opposite wall, Spice flew through Ranma, shaping her chi into fist, "You screw me over yet again!"

"Oh god…" Vega moaned in protest as Spice flew straight at him to get to Ranma, "Wait! I - " his voice was cut off as Spice's chi fist smashed into him and launched him forward toward Ranma.

"Shut up!" Ranma shouted back, her anger rising to match Spice's, "You have no idea what you put me through!" Furiously, Ranma wound up a kick, "Here's something I learned recently! Gomu gomu no…[copy-right violation!" and launched herself forward in a powerful energy kick.

The two of them collided with spectacular force with Vega in the mid in midair. A brilliant explosion blasted across the room. When the dust settled, Ranma and Spice stood facing each other in what could only be described as that-talking-scene-a-moment-before-the-final-boss-fight-which-you'll-have-to-watch-again-if-you-lose.

Nearby, Vega, smashed painfully against a wall, pleaded, "Someone please call the ambulance." As usual, he was ignored.

"What is your problem, Spice?" Ranma finally broke the silence, "You threw me out the window, call me a worthless bimbo, and now you're somehow angry at me?!"

"You!" Spice shouted back, but had little to say after that, "Well, you're." Ranma had a very valid point and, had she been within the realms of reason, would've stopped, but pride and adrenaline was pumping madly in her blood, "You tricked Tategami!"

"Someone…" Vega moaned weakly from the background, "Oh my god, I see a long tunnel with a light at the end…"

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Ranma demanded, "I'll pay him for the donuts later if he asks, but I tricked him out of nothing!"

"No!" Spice insisted angrily and reasonless as people were prone to do when angry, "You tricked him into liking you and...and…"

"Why the hell would I?!" Ranma shouted back, "I'm a guy, you pervert, why would I want a guy to like me?"

"Oh crap, there's Jesus," Vega croaked from his corner as he continued to be ignored, "holy crap, he _does_ look that…"

Spice said nothing, she only stared at Ranma in furious speechlessness.

"Think about it!" Ranma continued her attack, "just calm down and think about it, and you're realize you're the one who is being stupid."

Spice's eyes flared, "You're the one being stupid! And I am calm! You're just being –"

Ranma cut her off with a quick hand, "What, reasonable? Realistic? Not an idiot? Not a jerk? C'mon, at least have a better personality if you don't have the looks. No wonder Tategami already likes me better even though he just met me."

Spice blinked furiously, obviously fighting tears. "Ranma…you…" even as she spoke, her voice cracked. "Ranma…" desperately, she tried to keep Ranma from seeing her cry. That stupid jerk would probably laugh at her. Drawing a huge sigh to push down her gasping breaths, Spice screamed loudly, "I hate you, Ranma!" before spinning on her heels and bolting out the door.

"Well fine!" Ranma shouted after her as the echoes of Spice's footsteps reverberated about the building and eventually disappeared. Ranma then went to work properly dressing herself, "sonna ni baka na hito ga kuruma ni butsukararete mo ii da ze." After a little, Ranma too left the room.

"Umm…" Vega mumbled to no one, "If I die, those Street Fighter Movies would have even less of a plot…"

[Space Here

It was sundown by the time Ranma began heading home. The sun, now a large ball of wavering fiery red, hovered in the distant horizon between the wavering crimson sea and the autumn-leaved sky. Overhead, the first stars and a wintry moon began to shine coldly in the night. The fragrant scents of various kitchens bloomed with the culinary flavors of favorite Aulisian dishes as families gathered about dinner tables to enjoy the home-prepared meals and each other's company.

Perhaps somewhere out there in the far distance, Akane and the others were also doing the same. Perhaps, Akane and her family are sitting about the dinner table right now, sipping tea and chatting breezily about the events at school. Perhaps Nibiki finally found an awesomely rich boyfriend. Perhaps Kasumi discovered a new recipe to make curry. Perhaps Akane even learned to cook – not bloody likely. Or…

Ranma bit her lip as she looked skyward; perhaps, just as she was thinking about them, they were thinking of her as well.

Ranma blinked and looked away from the cool and distant sky. She missed them all, yes, but that's no reason for a warrior to succumb to such weakness. After all, she still had the job of showing up Dad, and make him regret his stupid decision to send her to this hellhole.

"Hmph!" Ranma smirked to herself, as she practically flew across the tops of walls and fences heading back to her dorm, "I'll show them all!"

Of course, the enormous difficulty of her task didn't quite don upon her until she was standing right outside her dorm room with her dorm key in her hands facing the very person she wanted to see least at this very moment – Spice.

Irony, bastardly wicked irony, sure had its way of sticking its ugly head into unwelcome places. And the two girls, and they were both girls at this moment, simply stared at each other in silent irritation. Neither of them made an attempt to say a word or open the door for the other until the other decided to apologize for whatever.

Ranma had no idea exactly how long they stood there just glaring at each other, but it was Ranma, who was a man at heart, who made the first move. She jammed her key into the doorknob, pushed it open, and went inside.

Spice stood at the door, unmoving except for a foot which she used to keep the door from shutting in her face.

"Did you calm down and think for a bit?" Ranma asked at last as she sat down on her chair and faced the other, "If so, perhaps you're ready to apologize."

Spice ignored Ranma and went to her side of the room. "Don't talk to me."

Ranma scoffed, "Screw you, I'll talk to you if I want!"

Spice didn't reply.

"You're wrong and you know it. You were unreasonable, but you refuse to accept it."

Spice pulled open a desk drawer, removed her homework, and began to figure out exactly how the curvature of a curve is related to the tangent and normal vectors of the given equation.

Ranma, being persistent and insistent on defeating Spice at her own game, refused to give up pestering her and plagued her with endless verbal torment. And, though Spice tried to do her homework in peace, no one truly had the ability to sit through hours upon hours of "It's your fault for being so stupid", "Why don't you think before you say anything?", "Not talking just means you've got nothing of value to say", "you smell", and "if you were smarter, you'd have a comeback."

The whole thing was a powdered keg waiting to explode.

And explode it did, though in the catastrophic way a nuclear bomb would, it exploded nevertheless when Spice, her eyelids twitching with irritation, pull out of her desk drawer a small questionable brown bottle and a rag. She poured some of the liquid content of the brown bottle onto the rag, being careful to keep it at a distance from her face, recapped the bottle and stood up from her seat.

"Oh!" Ranma snorted at Spice, "Going to run away again? Huh? Why don't you just say something and deal with it instead of run like some worthless little girl?"

Spice said nothing as she loomed over Ranma, though her face was tinged red with indignation.

Ranma, not to be cowed by the other girl, rose to her own feet, "What? You want fight? Don't think I'm in a mood to go easy on you just because you're a girl."

"Shut the f-" Spice, her rage snapping within her, flung the chloroform-soaked rag straight at Ranma, who dexterously caught it mere milliseconds before it could slap onto her face.

The fumes, however, nevertheless worked its way into Ranma's nostrils and instantly, the world began spinning about her in whirls of black and blue. "Whoa!" Ranma coughed, dizzily lurching forward, lunging at Spice.

But Spice was burning with anger and didn't back down as she should have, instead, she shouted at the incoming Ranma with pent-up rage, "I don't say anything because there's nothing to say, you idiot! I might have been wrong to say what I did in the morning, but that still gives you no right to say about me what you did! You're not any – wha!"

Ranma, with her last ounce of strength, pounced onto Spice, who was too slow to move out of the way. Ranma slapped the rag up against Spice's face just as she collapsed into the other girl, who, knocked off balance, barely managed to land herself and Ranma onto the big bed. Within seconds, the black unconsciousness of drug-induced stupor set in and the two of them were reduced to quiet little sleeping mice as oppose to the ferocious lions hungering for blood. Well, for a few hours anyway.

Author's Note: Wow. Having not updated this thing for so long, even I must've thought I was dead. In truth, I'd been very much alive, although usually distracted by other things ranging from school to (OMG I have one) a social life – I had pretty much abandoned the idea of ever updating the story. Then college rolled along and I became even busier; I barely had time to think about Ranma. But then, as fate would have it, no humanities courses ended up on my schedule this semester so I decided to pick up again this old story to fill with ink and paper (technically finger and keyboard) the void in my heart carved out by my voracious imagination and creative desires. Anyway, see you on the next update.


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